Do you know who I am???

So not to long ago I had a run in where I had to prove who I was and explain “why I was important” it was so awkward, I cringe just thinking about it.

Then the person who invited me in the first place spoke to me like I was a naughty child and I died a little inside… It’s at these moments a more confident woman would have stood firmly in her stilettos, pushed her perfectly quaffed hair out of her face and said “do you know who I am!”. Me however, there I was doubting if I deserved to be occupying my space, any space.

See the people in question the ones who made me feel bad, they haven’t given me a second thought… Me? I’m on thought 657

I thought I deserved to be dismissed because I was having a bad hair day, a bad dress day, a bad day all around. If I looked better, carried myself better and was more assertive I would have been treated better.

It made me think about pride and prejudice – not the book or the movie I watched on Netflix this weekend (how perfect is Keira Knightley in that role) – more the concepts in general.

I don’t see myself as a proud person, but in a venting session with friend (hey Deenah) I said, does he even know who I am and I listed some things that in the media world would carry some weight… National and international travel for work, meetings with the who’s who in SA, events I’ve attended, events I’ve planned, interviews with prominent people, I even told her that I should have told him to “Google me b!tch”.

Then we had a good laugh about it, because there is no way on God’s green earth that I, someone who has eaten cold food while telling the waiter it was lovely, would say anything like that…

Instead I started doubting myself and was moping around feeling like if the world was a giant high school I’d want to have lunch in the toilets. (you know like in the teen movies – highly unsanitary but so dramatic)

I suddenly was like, who are you Eleanor what do you even stand for… These people treated you like nothing, they aren’t the first, they won’t be the last, maybe they have a point.

Honestly I could have done so much more in my life, if I was voted most likely to succeed in high school, at this point I have proven them wrong. They would not have treated “so and so” like that “x” would not have stood for it “y” would not have accepted it and “z” well they respect “z” too much.

Then Rob asked me what I value? Was I lying about wanting to be good person and that being enough for me. He agreed that the person in question was being extremely rude but asked how it affected my life.

And then I cried a little but then I laughed at myself.

Here in 2018, I let someone else’s opinion of me(or lack there of) dictate how I felt about myself. Suddenly the charity work I’ve done in the past meant nothing, the events I’m currently putting my heart and soul into are not important.

The people who come to me for advice are obviously idiots and the people (my clients) who trust me with their brands are beyond stupid.

The friends I have belly laughs with have no sense of humour, the life I’ve built for myself suddenly has no validity because some people who litterally couldn’t pick me out of a line-up were mean to me…

I was being rediculous, but quite frankly how often do we do that. Against our better judgment we place so much value on the opinions of ppl who probably don’t deserve a second thought.

My mom has a saying, people’s opinions of you often has nothing to do with you… A good thing to remember. Sometimes people are having bad days, are going through stressful times, are natural douches and how they treat you is a reflection of that not of you.

So the point of this post is simple, a reminder to me and you that sometimes people suck but just keep doing you because “those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind”

2 thoughts on “Do you know who I am???

  1. Michelle Leslie says:

    I for one think you’re awesome Ella. People can be so mean sometimes and like you said that’s a reflection on them not you. We can’t control how people act or what they do, but we do have 100 % control over how we react to them and whether we let them get inside our heads. Your head is way to amazing to let someone like that inside. Screw him. He’s not only insulting you but all the people who love and admire you too.

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