When my friend Venean from In the Meantime tagged me in her #rockingmotherhood post, I was not super keen. Honestly I don’t particularly feel like I’m rocking anything at the moment…nada, nothing, nix…I don’t even want to go in to my lack of rockingness that’s how bleugh I have been feeling.
But I really like Venean and I decided to stop being a stick in the mud and try my hand at listing ten things that stand out as me “rocking motherhood”
Initially all the things I’m not rocking came to mind, Aidan doesn’t eat well, or sleep well, or have volume control. He is emotional, moody, in his own little head half the time, he is anxious and talks/sings non stop, even when not appropriate.
So basically he is me to a T and it’s hard to “fix issues” in a preschooler that I as a 30+ person am still dealing with.
So I decided to just mindlessly type a list of things instead…but then the anxious part of my brain was all “what if I say I’m a good mom because I xyz and then someone reads it and feels like I’m saying that they are not good because they don’t xyz and then here I am inadvertently xyz mom shaming and that would suck”
But then i decided to just type the damn list…here goes, please do note that this list only affect me if you are anti-xyz, I appreciate and accept that, please do the same with my pro-xyz
1.I love him fiercely
A cupboard door fell down and I literally jumped up and had it fall on my shoulder to protect him. I totally she-hulked and that counts as rocking it.
2. I pray for him
As a Christian I strongly believe in the power of prayer. I keep him in my prayers and to me that’s one way of being a good mom.
3. I try my best
Some women just seem to be automatically mom material, like it’s in their settings, like God wrote it on their CV’s at production. I am not like that, I’m not super maternal, but for Aidan I try.
4. I accept him quirks and all
Aidan is an interesting kid, he doesn’t like, he loves, he doesn’t dislike, he loathes, he is all heart all the time and I embrace it. He became a vegetarian because he can’t stand the idea of animals having to die for a meal. He will thank waiters and shopkeepers from the bottom of his heart when they are nice and he will blatantly ignore people he feels are rude (it doesn’t have to be rude to him, he will see a cashier be offish with another customer and refuse to talk to her/him when she tries to make conversation with him – in the car he will say that the person wasn’t nice to so and so, so he didn’t speak to her/him) He is not a “happy go lucky kid” he is a old soul with a sarcastic demeanor and while I teach him to be polite I also let him be him, let him wander off at the park or sit by himself or play alone, he is who he is and I accept that.
5. I upskill myself for him
Since Aidan’s birth I have learnt so much “for his sake”. Some obvious mom things like breastfeeding, burping and changing nappies and other things like how to make balloon animals, making alternative birthday cakes, making candyfloss and how to sew. I’ve had to learn how to make meals for a picky vegetarian and he is pretty healthy so that’s a win
6. I make time for him
As a freelancer working in an office daily then coming home to write and make jewelry, my time is stretched but I will always make time for him. I have typed up articles for publications while he paints my legs and I’ve sewn an order with him on my lap. Aidan comes first, finish en klaar.
7. I let him get bored
I believe that imagination, intelligence and forward thinking flourish in the “bored spaces” I let him get bored by not scheduling all his time or filling it with games, activities or tv shows. He is often just wandering around the house finding thing to do. I’m in turn finding little science experiments all around the house, sugar in the fridge to see if it will freeze, an apple in a jar of water to see if it dissolves…he gets up to all sorts this kid.
8. I chat to him
Every night we have a debriefing, whether it’s at bed or bath time, we chat about his day and he even asks about mine. I think it teaches him conversational skills and keeps the doors of communication open for later years. My dad used to do the same with me (chat to me at bed time daily) and it has meant an open understanding relationship.
9. I get out of his dad’s way
Even though I (like Venean mentioned in her post) will give Rob the “wasn’t that a bit harsh” look when he goes into his military mode with Aidan (he is ex soldier, ex fireman, current cop – basic training is in his blood) I let them find their own “language” together, their own motion, they do a ton of “daddy and me” things together and it shows in their relationship.
10. I know I’m not perfect
I’m always willing to learn more, do better, be better. I want the best for him and that means i’m doing something right
Nothing on the list is like amazing, I haven’t had to do anything super life changing, however, being a mom has been super life changing
Jonelle from Tyranny of Pink
Zoe from Born Geek
Cassey from Bits and Pieces
Rules for the tag are:
- Thank the blogger that tagged you and link to their blog.
- List 10 things you believe make you a good mother (this is just a guideline. It can be more or less than 10.)
- Tag 3 – 5 bloggers to join in the #rockingmotherhood Tag.
- Grab the #rockingmotherhood badge and add it to your post or sidebar.
You can read more about the tag and where it originates here!