Grieving moms and mother’s day…don’t say stupid things

Mother’s day is coming up and it’s always a bitter sweet time for me, I always feel so lucky yet so incomplete… I know that when I lost Logan many people did not know what to do with me…it’s all just so unreal. I thought I’d share my list of what to do  IF YOUR FRIEND”S BABY DIES because it comes in really handy when you don’t know how to act and keeps you from saying things like “you must be glad that is over” “Lucky he wasn’t around too long” “It’s been long now though” 

Mother’s day is a sensitive time for grieving moms, even if they seem like they are “pretty cool about it” so keep that in mind 🙂

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Mother’s day 2012

Mothers day after losing your baby is a cruel reality. Rob hates it if I say I’m not a mother, he says it’s denying our son, I don’t mean to deny him, I just feel that being a mother with no-one to mother is the cruelest irony! Yes I’m a mother, but I want to be a mom! 

I have the wide set hips of a mother, the stretch marks, the (worse than most) c-section scar, I have the medical bills and mementos from birth, but that’s where it stops.
My heart aches as I write this, my arms long for a little someone to hold and caress and to sing to, I wish my “motherly duties” weren’t taken away so soon.
I’m healing, everyday I can feel God working towards putting my heart back together, but days like tomorrow hurt!!!
Moms are praised for their work, for late night feeds and kissing the booboo, for loving and taking care and with each advertisement on tv,radio,magazine, my entire being screams out, ITS NOT FAIR!!! I didn’t bail out on my duties on purpose! I want to stay up late with feedings and I don’t mind dealing with a cranky child! I wasn’t given a fair chance! Its just not fair!
It all feels so crazy like I entered a triathlon and when I got to the cycle part, my bike was stolen, I trained! I was ready! I wanted it! Its not my fault I couldn’t finish 🙁
I know so many women will share my pain tomorrow, through child loss and infertility! And I pray God helps us heal because this pain is something I would never wish on anyone. 

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