Are you smart enough to parent a toddler?

I don’t think I am…
Since Aidan started talking , I don’t think my general knowledge has ever been tested this much in my life,  not in my inter-school quiz and debate years, not on game nights not even on my matric question paper!

Aidan is basically a question generator… like they could probably use him for a game show or for creating an app (I know I’m not the only mom who feels this way about her pre-preschooler)

– Mommy, what are flowers for?
– Why is there only rain sometimes?
– What sound does a penguin make?
– What is a ducks favourite food?
–  What is a dogs favourite colour?
–  What is the moons real name?
– Why don’t babies have words
– Why are some things big and some things small
– how do ants remember where they live
(This was just yesterday!)

I want to give him a proper answer so sometimes I ask him to give me a second to think about it(or Google it)….but because he is only two I need to walk a thin line between education and being ridiculous with flow charts and info graphics trying to explain the theory of relativity to a not yet potty trained two year old…

– flowers are pretty to attract bees and the bees help make more flowers
– we have to wait for the sun to  fill the clouds with water and when clouds get full the water comes out as rain
– it makes a sound almost like a donkey braying (so says google)
–  not bread (As popular culture would have us believe) but fish, snails, worms, crustaceans, grasses, weeds, aquatic plants, small amphibians, insects, seeds, fruits and nuts (totally Googled this)
– it is believed that dogs only see blue,yellow and grey
– moon is the official name
– you learn words as you get older (oh boy do you ever)
– everyone and everything is different because the world is like a puzzle and being different makes us all fit together (a lil deep for a 2 year old but hey)
– ants you say? Here watch the Ants movie (not scientific but it bought me a little time until . . .) ….
 These ants walk and talk like people, are they people ants? I guess. Why don’t the ants wear clothes? Because only people wear clothes. People ants should wear clothes, this one is a boy right mommy? Yes he is. If he is a boy where is his penis, his penis should be in his pants but he has no clothes on. It’s a cartoon Aidan. Hey uncle ant where is your penis? Can I call him penis mommy? Oh where is penis going?  Penis ran awayBED TIME BED TIME! Do ants sleep in beds? I think people ants sleep in beds, do they put on pajamas at night but no clothes in the day. . . . . .

Oh how I wish I was kidding…


5 thoughts on “Are you smart enough to parent a toddler?

  1. Jozi Wahm says:

    My son also has millions of questions these days. Flowers and ants are the easy stuff though. Wait till they are four and five- then comes the deep questions that even Google can't answer for you- life and death and religion and the meaning of it all.

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