Life is super weird right now, right

So this statement comes as no surprise to anyone reading this. Cause life is hella weird right now.

I’ve been using this blog to share my life for quite a while now and there would be a huge gapping hole in my time-line if I didn’t mention “the time the whole entire country (world practically) went on time out”. 

Yesterday I was sitting in the newsroom listening to a spunky pink -haired news editor throw words  around like front line and military force when I thought to myself… Holy cow things just got real…

I mean I’m not unaware of what’s been going on up till now. I work primarily in media so, corona covid-19, pandemic and state of emergency have become pretty common vocab words – also I’ve had to postpone so many events recently, my wallet has corona fatigue. So this isn’t coming as a complete shock to me. 

More than that I’m deeply saddened by news of the lives lost to this virus. I’m profoundly shook by where the world is right now. Suddenly first world countries and third world countries have the same enemy, but we don’t have the same weapons. 

Today exactly 48 hours before lockdown (yes I’m typing this at midnight) I find myself thinking just how crazy life is right now.

I’ll be working from home, starting in a few hours, with no guarantees as to how long I’ll be needed as a freelance worker. I don’t know what my financial future is about to look like, but even so I consider myself extremely lucky. Right now I have the means to make money (even if the time-line is unclear), while many, many, oh my word, so many, South Africans  (who am I kidding, this is global) don’t know how they will put food on their tables.

The water in our town has been crazy problematic the last week or so with protests somehow affecting water lines, and then there is the erratic electricity situation in the country… Guys we are in a very dramatic action movie right now and it’s weird AF.

Mentally I’m not doing too well, this will not come as a surprise to anyone who has followed me for a while – last year my depression and anxiety were severely triggered by some frienemies being mean on social media and IRL behind my back, how more so would I be affected by pending doom Armageddon end of the world social media posts.

My dad is diabetic, asthmatic, has high blood pressure and a job that is considered essential. My husband will be working out there on ground zero and as far as I can tell the police are yet to be issued a glove, mask, hand wash or a don’t touch me sign.

He suffers from chronic bronchitis as does my son who is struggling to understand the loss of his school schedule, birthday party and play date rights… They often have trouble breathing at night but these days their breathing reminds me of Aidan’s first days in NICU. This is really a bad time for my Dr to be booked off sick before she could refill my anxiety meds prescription… Ooooh I’m about to be fun to be around, lucky for you, I  (me and millions of others) won’t be around anything or anyone for the next 20+ days.

I’m not trying to sound all woe is me here, I know that there is mass panic happening. I see it in the masked faces, the gloved hands, and the don’t touch me glances. The fear is in the sanitized sprays in every doorway, the panicked whattsapp messages, and the fake news shared with wild abandon (fact check for the love of Pete)

As I struggle to sleep (hello insomnia my old friend nice to see you’re tag teaming with nightmares yet again) I pray for the medical staff, the military, the police, all workers considered essential. I pray for those who don’t see the big deal and go on with their lives like the president routinely goes on TV with tear stained eyes asking people to stay behind closed doors. I pray for the economy. For the unpaid bills. The kids who can’t go to school. People stuck with their abusers with no where to go. The students who can’t graduate. I pray for a year thrown off its tracks and a society unsure if it will ever get back on track.

 But apart from staying home, helping charities in what little ways I’m able to and praying, there isn’t anything else I can do. 

So here we (me, you, us) are, behind closed doors (smelling like hospital corridors) feeling like the extras in end of the world action movies. Waiting with bated breath for a curiously muscular scientist to find a cure with the help of the Avengers – Ooooh Avengers didn’t end to leka, scrap that.

This post has zero point actually, it’s just me reaching out from my corner of the world to your corner of the world to say… Shits gotten real weird my friend, but still we rise. 

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