So two sleeps from now (naps not included) I'm going into hospital to deliver my rainbow baby! OMW did I really make it this far!!!
I'll be knocked out completely (please hold your judgment on how I'm missing out, after last time my dr is concerned that the operating room and all that goes with it may bring back memories of my last traumatic experience and have me go into shock! Also after the scaring from last time they need to fix "insert medical term here" so it won't be a straight forward, delivery)
I know it'll be difficult not actually seeing him be born and it is not ideal when it comes to latching for breast feeding, but after you lose a baby believe me you become rather at peace with the "how" so as long as he is healthy I couldn't really care less…
Pretty sure I'm gonna wake up freaked out about whether or not he was okay though, so Rob is going to have to be on hand with info and pics asap!
I'm typing this at two in the morning as sleep has become a bit of a foreign concept to me, and sometime in the last hour I had a OMW moment relating to Aidan's arrival (which sadly coincides with my godmother's burial, I can't really wrap my mind around missing out on this goodbye and instead saying hello to my baby-she was very excited about him so I'm sure she understands and I will be attending her memorial service this evening – where I will try to keep my composure while conveying a speech about her-so in my own way I do get to say goodbye)
Back to my realisation; I realised that all these baby related things around the house were no longer going to be "museum pieces", Rob and I will no longer be "just the two of us" and in actual fact I'm about to acquire a screaming pooping "mini boss"!
My life is about to change so much that my emotions are struggling to keep up!
How amazing is it that God is giving us this "second chance" how amazing that choosing Faith over Fear has yielded such amazing results and how amazing that we get to meet our son!!!
Rob is already the picture of a proud dad, speaking to my bump whenever he can- with no regard to who think's he is crazy (mainly me)
I won't lie I'm scared! Ohhhh I'm so freakidy freaked out! irrational fears like under/over feeding him or dropping him in the bath plague my mind, I wonder how I, me, miss I prefer to be alone all the time, is gonna cope with this little being who will be relying on me for every little thing!
I've never even had a pet, my plants die and my childhood attempts at raising virtual pets have all ended in me pressing the restart button. So ja I'm pretty overwhelmed right about now…
Times like these I'm so glad for Rob!
He has been reading and learning along side me and I know that we have each others backs, he has even stored up his off days at work and will be home with us for the whole of April, this way he can really support me and we can make sure neither of us throws out the baby with the bath water (never quite "got" that saying)
I'll be sure to show off our baby soonest 🙂 but only non-bloody and non-slimy pics, I'm not a fan of the "very natural" ones…
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All your emotions sound so familiar. Throughout my pregnancy it never really dawned on me that we were actually having a baby… a whole new person! I think I concentrated more on reading up as much as I could, getting the room ready, etc. Then Cara arrived and I felt so unprepared. I freaked when I had to bath her for the first time. He-he. Thank goodness for my husband. And even if I tell you now that you worry too much, it’s not going to change how you feel. At least it didn’t change how I felt when people told me. Just take a deep breath mommy! You are going to be wonderful parents and your precious baby is the luckiest little person in the world to have you. Enjoy every single moment of this incredible journey. Can’t wait to see pics and hear how things are going. Lots of love! xx
LOL! People are so quick to judge. I was out cold with both my kids and that was by choice and I dont care who said what. There is no way I want to be awake while the rip me apart.