So my friend died today and I was angry! Angry at a stupid reckless driver who caused this, angry that her husband lost his wife, her brother lost a sister, nephew lost an aunt, parents lost a child. . .
We met in 2010 when she won a title sponsored by the paper I was working for. Over the years I’ve done many articles on her and her various charitable endeavours.  She impressed me with her giant heart and awesome attitude and we became friends.
She was young not nearly done with life… married for only 8 months she still had so many plans…
My heart goes out to her family who I know she loved more than anything…We spoke at nauseum about how lucky we both were to love and be loved…now she’s gone and I can’t imagine the gaping hole she has left with them. How their hearts must ache as they try to put things in perspective. Her parents were her heroes and she shared everything with them…what now?
Everyone who knew her adored her. A rare mix of beauty,brains and soooo much compassion.
I wasn’t done being her friend…still so many cups of coffee we promised to chat over, so much more I could learn from her.
I was just so angry, angry at God even. .. how could he take someone so fundimentaly good and leave murderers and rapists merrily living their lives…how could he let prayers go unanswered in this way!
Her accident two days ago brought out so much love…messages from far and wide and the blood bank could hardly handle all donations that came in for her…her influence shook the city to its core.
How can she simply be dead?!? How could God let her be dead?!?

I had to check myself and think of things from a less selfish place (like there is such a place in death)
Bianca wouldn’t want me angry at God. She loved him to much for that (she was a Christian in the true “follow by example” sense) So i try to see the “good” ; she gets to go home and one day we will be reunited with her…

It’s hard not to be broken by this…can’t imagine how those closer to her must feel…but I rest (and hope others do to) in the knowledge that she LIVED she never did anything in half measures this girl…let this be a lesson to us all, life is short make sure you LIVE it

Omw B can’t believe you’re gone 🙁
Much love my friend

And from conversations with her I know enough to say this: to her mom (you were her best friend) dad (you were her hero) husband (she loved you from the depths of her soul) brother (you inspired her) nephew (you brought so much joy) she shared so much about you all, know that you were loved with all she had and that everyone she touched holds you close in this tough time

Just yesterday I said that I was putting my “moms who blog” series on the back burner but that’s not 100% true. I’d interviewed another mom not too long ago but turns out her answers were swallowed up in cyber space…
But they have been retrieved and you get to meet an amazing blogger who seems to be taking the SA blogging scene by storm, Shaney Vijendranath from You Baby and I

Tell us a little about your family…

 I’m the only child, my dad passed away when I was 8. I’m lucky to have my mom live with me, she’s my pillar of strength. I wish I had siblings, I think 1 child isn’t enough. I got married when I was 20 to an amazing man – Vije who is formerly from Sri Lanka. We have 1 daughter – Kitana and busy planning to grow the family with a second child.

 

–What do you do when not blogging?

 When I’m not blogging, I’m busy being a housewife and mom. I work from home so I’m fortunate to have flexible hours. My day is filled with toddler tantrums and dirty diapers while my nights are busy with work.

 

-What made you decide to blog?

 I needed a place to talk about my journey of motherhood. Not many people around me understood how I felt. Becoming a mother at 21 wasn’t the easiest, people judged me. I always got the Q: “Is your boyfriend still with you?” I’m proud to say that Vije and I planned our pregnancy and I wanted to get married young. It wasn’t something that happened, we planned it. We got married first then had a baby.

 

-What was your concept behind the blog?

 I knew I wanted to chat about motherhood, my experiences and difficulties. I didn’t realise how fast it would expand into different aspects. I never thought I would be doing so many reviews or competitions.

-Did you find yourself nervous at prospect of letting people into your life in this way?

Yes and I’m still nervous about it.
 

-Do you ever worry that your child will be like “mom why are you exposing my life?”

Yes, I’m sure when she’s older she will have lots of questions for me but because of my blog I’ve connected with so many moms who have the same difficulties. We help each other. I think when she realises the impact of a blog, she will be okay with it…well hopefully!

-Does your family read your blog?

Yes they always do and they support me 100%.
 

-What do you hope to achieve through the blog?

 A support group of first time moms.

 
-What do you think about the blogging culture in South Africa?

It’s improving, I’ve come across some brilliant blogs that are not “big”. I’ve learnt to search for blogs in communities like SA Mom blogs and Blogs to follow SA instead of just visiting the popular ones. I just wish bloggers in SA would be more friendly and helpful.
 

-What do you think makes for a “good blog”

Pictures. A picture can say a 1000 words.

-How do you personally measure success in the blogging world

I don’t measure my success from stats but by the feedback I receive from my readers. I love chatting to my readers and when they tell me I’ve helped them, I feel like I’ve won an award. I still feel like a newbie in the blogging industry, sometimes I have no clue what I’m typing but if someone connects with me via an article, it’s worth it.

Social media links:

Blog: http://www.youbabyandi.com/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/youbabyandi

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/youbabyandi

So after a week of non blogging im back to remind everyone that it is not to late to share hope and feed some deserving kiddos…

Last month HERE I told you guys about the initiative run by Tony Ferguson Weightloss South Africa, Dis-Chem Pharmacies, The Dis-Chem Foundation and African Dynamics to fill some empty tummies.
Their plan to distribute up to 200 000 meals to hungry primary-school children across the country is still going strong which means you can still join in…

You can still help feed hungry kids
The Share Hope Campaign sees the partners donate a balanced, nutritious breakfast to a needy child for every Tony Ferguson Shake, Soup or full sized Munch Bar purchased from a participating Dis-Chem store between September and November.
The breakfast will be served in the form of a cereal packed with all the nutrients a growing child needs and only needs to be mixed with water for a filling meal…

You can still enter and win
You even stand in line to win one of four  R2000 vouchers monthly by just telling more people about the program…
All you have to do is go HERE and click share…

When I wrote this they had already fed 41408 children and with 57 days to go there is still time to help raise that amount….click HERE for more info

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So my laptop hates me and blogging from my phone is proving troublesome to say the least…I have so much to share with you guys but looks like I’m on a forced hiatus for the week until I can get someone to look at my laptop…don’t fail me now computer not now :(  on the plus side I’m on  leave from work for the week so yeah me :)…..chat soon

I feel awful! run down! and exhausted! I’m not sure if it’s just because I have iron deficiency anaemia and low blood pressure which is currently in a bad phase or if I have just been burning the candle at both ends so long I ran out of wick?  But I’m so out of it I can’t follow a conversation let alone participate in one.
Feeling like regurgitated death for the last few days has seen me cancel, reschedule and shorten appointments…Things that were non-negotiable become pretty negotiable when you can’t keep food down (oh the recurring ulcer is recurring-I didn’t realise that I was supposed to still be taking meds and being on a restrictive diet so instead of getting better, I got worse)
The need to say no has made me realise something, “it’s okay to say no”
I always fear that people will think they don’t mean much to me if I can’t be there for them whenever they need me. If  I can’t drop what I’m doing and see to others I’m selfish and not worthy of their friendship.

My inner dialogue can be brutal: 
I need to be there for family – “She forgot where she comes from doesn’t even have time for us.”
 I need to be there for friends – “I bet if so and so asked she would do it, she is clearly not as good a friend as I thought”
I need to be there for work – “She has lost focus since becoming a mother, maybe the responsibility is too much for her”
I need to be there for husband – “This is NOT how a good wife behaves”
I need to be there for Aidan – “So you work whole day and then don’t have time for me, a good mom would have time for me”
I need to be there for my crafting and photography business – “This is why you will never be successful, you can’t commit”
I need to be there for my blog – “You are not even funny or entertaining, quit while you’re ahead buddy”
I need to be there for my “household duties” – “When last did you bake anything? your finances are in shambles and I think there is a Lego in the dishwasher…you suck at this!”
I need to be there for my health and fitness – “You are fat, unfit and now sickly too, what’s the point in trying really?”

I’m just soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo tired!!!
So unapologetic, holy cow can’t I win a night in a hotel room by myself, tired!

So in a bid to not end up in a corner rocking myself back and forth humming kumbaya I decided to de-clutter…

With Rob’s help I am vowing…for the rest of the year at least…
–  Only one RSVP per Saturday/Sunday . . . Running from a breakfast function, to a lunch time birthday party, and then a supper event is not working for us…We end up irritable and don’t enjoy ourselves because we need to watch check the whole time.
–  No more big crafting jobs for the near future, I just don’t have the time to make 100 invitations or party favors, small scale stuff – sure, help out people – sure, but no more big jobs, I just don’t have the time or energy
–  Bring back date night – it’s about time we had at least one meal without begging one of the people at the table to draw on the paper supplied not the table
– Start going to church more regularly, I’ve become one of those special occasion church goers, which is fine for some people (Spirituality and religion is a personal decision) I just remember growing up in the church and want that for Aidan
– Sign up for a Christian women’s retreat I need the down time and time to reconnect…
– Take charge of my finances…I’m way too disorganised
– Cook meals ahead of time- which give us more time after work with Aidan and to go for walks
– Downgrade my extra mural activities, to blogging and the occasional party photo shoot (love photographing kids parties)
– STOP BEING SO HARD ON ME!

Wish me luck! this running around like a headless chicken thing, means I end up with a ton of unfinished projects. NOT a good look