Category: being mom

Helping your child deal with trauma

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toddlertips

I’ve been quiet on the blog front… This is due to two things;

 1. My new look, thanks LARGELY to Odette from Osoinspired, who saved my digital behind (again)
2. Life has been realy stressful and my family (especially my lil super hero has needed me) so blogging found itself on the back burner (weird for me as this is my happy space and gives my life much needed routine.)

Our little family has gone through a series of stressful events in the last few weeks and I thought I’d share how I helped Aidy deal with it and hopefully get some tips from you guys as well.

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Cheapy things I love, volume 2

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So I’m frugal / budget  conscious/cheap, BUT I do like “nice things”. Last year I did my first list of Cheapy Things I Love  and I thought it was about time I did another installment, esp as the budget speech happened  and we are now acutely aware that we are all broke (or is that just me? please send donations to ********)… So here goes 🙂

budget
Relax with Art Magazine (under R40)
I do the adult colouring thing, actually my friend Sal and I were colouring to relax before adult colouring was a thing, buying good quality kids ones and chilling with snacks, GOOD TIMES!.  Adult colouring books can be a little pricey which isn’t ideal when you have kids who want to help out. I got a fancy R200 one as a valentines gift which I keep on the highest shelf (I can reach) but for hanging out at the park or for a nice gift bag filler I buy the Relax with Art Magazine, it is under R40 (suddenly can’t remember exactly) but the pictures are crisp and clean and the paper is great and it’s a bargain, available at most supermarkets, PnP for sure.
BIC colouring pencils (R27)
For colouring I have many different markers and pens and pencils (I have a stationery habit actually)I never thought of BIC for colouring but when Luchae from My Spreadsheet Brain bought Aidan BIC crayons as part of a Christmas gift I was hooked. The crayons are super smooth and bright and I wondered about the colouring pencils and YES! they are equally awesome and a steal. Smooth comfy colouring buddy!!!
Satiskin Moroccan Spice shower gel (R35)
This stuff is amazing, it’s a bigger bottle than most brands, leaves your skin nice and soft and THE SMELL!!! What is this even?! It’s like a warm cup of spice tea on the balcony of a stone palace… hahahaha, okay maybe not that, but it’s great and the smell lasts longer than my other body washes. Is it strange to sniff myself? yes! do I do it anyway? yes! (Got it on special at Makro two for R45) hows that for budget savvy
Woolies Vanilla Chai (R31)
If you are now craving tea because of my beautiful explanation above (because I’m an amazing sales person type) You should try this Vanilla Chai. This is SO yum!!! I actually brought some to work to give out to all the tea lovers and then I was briefly referred to as a “tea dealer” but I digress… This is 40 cups of awesome (you can taste the spices) chai at around R1 a cup (not counting the water) It smells so amazing I stuck a tea bag in smelly gym bag and it’s all chai deliciousness now (I threw away the tea bag after, I’m frugal, I’m not gross, lol)

Smart Seal by Tevo ( R106)
My mom isn’t into gimmicks, okay that maybe that’s a lie as I recall a drawer of miracle whisks and openers (wait, no, I’m pretty sure that’s my dad’s doing)  any who she got these smart seal lids recently and I was sure it was not not worth it, I mean its a silicone circle, how well could it really work? AWESOMELY that’s how. It suctions like prize octopus (is that a thing? a prize octopus?) you place it on your pot or bowl and tadah! you have a lid. It’s microwave and oven safe and works on the stove top or to seal in freshness with a salad. TOTAL WIN!


You can get all that for under R300 how cool am I ? also if you like this comment below and I will do more cheap finds 🙂

*Please note that I bought these things, no sponsorships or products for review 🙂

When the baby talks back

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Aidan will be three in April and is such a chatterbox… I thought I’d share some of his comments with you guys 🙂 Disclaimer: He replaces the R sound with L and when there is a L in a word he just skips it, hahaha

-(While watching TV) I can’t see nicely I maybe need glasses (Rob and I both wear glasses, think he feels left out)

-Ma looks sad ill take her some of my happy biscuits (crackers) Then watches her eat while asking if she’s happy yet

-We don’t have to buy Caleb birthday gifts he can just share with me and other people can buy for me and I’ll share that too

-Sorry I’m nagging maybe I’m tired

– (We are always arguing about eating) You don’t have to keep giving me lots of foods I only want toast,cereal,apples and yogurt, easy, see

-They don’t pay you at school I want to work rather

-(Replying to someone asking Caleb’s name)…You know he can’t tell you because he can’t talk

– (Caleb trying to get Aidan’s attention) You must use your words, no one understands you

– I’m only going to talk in singing so you must sing at me today

-I don’t want to wear pajamas tonight, can I sleep in a tummy and legs rather 

-(Seeing the sun stream through the door)… its going to get hot here, better find shade

– It’s fun in Caleb town (Cape Town) we must come again

– (Me doing yoga) Why you sleeping on the floor, is the bed broken? (comes running to me with pillows) the pelloes will help

– Oh no it’s the moon (I ask why he is upset at the moon) the moon means night time then you are going to want to dudu (sleep)

– (I tell him to get ready for sleep) It’s okay you can dudu I will play quietly (reduces volume on his leap pad)


This is such a fun stage, have your kids said anything funny lately?


Maybe I should stop talking to my toddler?!

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I’m considering not speaking to my kid anymore
I’m getting such mixed messages from social media/well meaning people and various articles. I thought this might be the best way to not screw him up

Because you know complimenting them to much makes them not strive for better
Not complimenting enough makes them underachieve

You should let them find the answers to things themselves, to promote learning
But since they are just mastering their home language you should help them out

You should not mention their physical appearance as it can breed narcissism
But you must build their self esteem on both physical and intellectual level

You should let them have imagination play and no screen time
 but you should guide them with educational games and also make sure they know that they are not the center of the world

You need to be sure that they understand differences in people but you should not say anything that can instill preconceived notions

You need to make sure they have a voice but they need to know that they are children and should be seen not heard.

They need motivation but you should also not put too much emphasis on success

So jip,  I just wont speak to him I think that way no matter how he turns out it will not be my fault

– hehehehe just kidding have a great day and remember that the only thing you can do 100% right is to love them

Tips on choosing a daycare that works for your family.

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picture source


Yesterday I noticed an ad in the paper with a ton of daycare facilities calling for kiddies to join the class of 2016  (and here I thought back-to-school season was over) this reminded me how stressful it is to find a place you are comfortable with especially with all the options out there (I literally went from school to school in my area before settling on one) Everyone has different views on how to choose so I decided to ask a few of my friends how they chose and hopefully help parents who are searching, refine their categories 🙂
Aidan has been at his daycare centre since just after he turned one and I love the place…
Everyone has a different set of criteria for choosing a daycare for their child. For me, apart from safety and proximity, I wanted diversity.
I wanted him to interact with people from different racial, cultural and religious backgrounds and hopefully make him aware of the beauty of differences. (Seems obvious, but we live in a small town and although our friends are pretty diverse, I needed it to be part of his everyday)
The area I grew up in as a child was very, lets say, one dimensional and I didn’t really like how the smallest difference was frowned upon. I didn’t want that for him, I didn’t want  him to be shocked that someone looked different to him or had different beliefs so wanted him to be integrated from a young age – Because although this is South Africa in 2016, people can still  be very closed minded.

It worked out amazing, like I mentioned yesterday his teachers are different races and religions and his classmates look like a tiny UN meeting – You know like the real world.
That was what I wanted,  I also went searching for a “vibe” some place my heart was okay with because I’m a hippie like that.
That was my criteria…here is what some moms I know (whose kids go to different play schools) had to say, hopefully some of this will help you find a loving home away from home for your littlies.
Yongama’s mommy Vuyo looked for
–         Proximity to work and home and whether traffic would be an issue with drop off and pick up
–        Cleanliness – especially bathrooms
–          And do the teachers look happy
(Loved the last point, because if someone loves what they do it shows)
 Gabriel and India’s mommy Adele looked at
–        Operating hours
–        The layout of the facility
–        How the teachers interact with parents and children
(I would hate to leave my child at a place where I did not have a good relationship with the teacher)

Lili’s  mommy Busi  wanted
–        A beautiful and safe play ground
–        Quality food and emphasis on nutrition
(Good point as Aidan eats much better with teacher Linda than with me, much)
Blake and Riley’s mommy Robyn checked on
–         Age and developmentally appropriate activities
      (she’s a teacher can you tell)
–        Safety
–        Gut instinct when checking out the place


What was most important to you?

It is your party you can splurge if you want to

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I like keeping an eye on the mommy wars, you know, so I know what to be outraged about this week (I kid) but it’s pretty hard to miss. Recently I saw a post on a group talking about how kids parties have gone insane and people need to calm down.

Here is my take on it… Have you been A. asked to host said party B. Is said party affecting you in any way shape or form (annoyance doesn’t count) C. Do you not have a life?

Ask yourselves those questions and then please take to social media so I can read your stance on how other people raise their kids and spend their money.
And talking about starving children and spoiling kids isn’t a good argument because quite frankly you don’t know how the hosts spend every other cent or every other day so CHILL hehehe.
Disclaimer: I really don’t think it is the best idea to break the bank on a party, what is the use in entertaining a bunch of toddlers for the day and not being able to afford the bare necessities the rest of the month? I’ll admit I do roll my eyes at some parties, maybe it’s because I can’t afford to hire out wedding venues for 4thbirthdays or shut down an amusement park for the day. (hehehehe jelly much) I’m human so yes I do sometimes think “sheesh overkill” but at the end of the day, it is really is none of my business.

I do love looking at party pics though LOVE IT and honestly I’m way more into looking at table settings than I am into looking at the actual birthday boy or girl (apart from looking at their oufit) YES I AM STRANGE.
I like parties, I like themes. I like matching things to things and I know I’m probably one of those annoying pinterest  moms but I honestly don’t mind… I like spoiling Aidy and making things (on a budget) way too much to care.
In general people are always talking about how kids parties are out of control these days but I beg to differ.
Yes the addition of social media means we can now see parties we weren’t invited to (hehehe) and pinterest means that our cupcakes can now match our décor BUT there have always been “those moms”

Who do you think made those clowns with  hats made of sweets precariously dangling off ice-cream cones ? or the scooped out oranges filled with jelly.
Come on now, don’t preach about keeping it simple when you clearly remember the brigade of bargain store Barbies plunged into dress shaped cakes and the crepe paper streamers lining the walls.
Yes we have become more sophisticated with bunting and themed food and and and… but at the end of the day not that much has changed
It’s all about having fun and celebrating the birthday boy/girl in the way YOU WANT TO… if you like simple cake and tea or an all out circus act it should really be about what the family wants (and can afford)

Just today I spoke to two friends, a cousin and my sister about their kids’ upcoming birthdays, YES they are all more excited than the kids but hey WHY NOT! With all the late nights and  body fluids and constant cleaning, why cant we have a party for goodness sake….PASS THE  GLITTER, I’m going in! 


PICTURES FROM AIDAN’S FIRST PARTY: cause his second was a bit of a bust