Category: being mom

Calm mom = calm kid (I hope)

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Just breath Eleanor just breath
If you come around my house in the near future and see a white knuckled mother speaking to a toddler in a eerily calm voice-don’t be alarmed
I’ve decided to stop “shouting” at Aidan even if he drives me up the wall.
Honestly I never thought I was shouting at him to begin with but, when we went to have lunch at a venue with a play area the other day, I found out otherwise.

Aidan was playing and naturally didn’t go for the climbing frame, slides or sand pit , nope he found a plug to stick his finger into.
I shouted to get his attention and later had a friend ask if I had a rough day, because I sounded so worked up, I sounded like I had enough of Aidan so she assumed that he must have been quite the handful that day. (she wasn’t being mean spirited at all just observing and she was right)

Thing is no, he wasn’t a handful, he was cheery and cute and I was just worked up…
Rob shouted at him yesterday for dismantling the couch , it’s become his thing, he needs to sit on the wooden base and throw the pillows on the floor…
The poor thing looked so shocked…Rob and I then decided we need  to work on not letting the love leave our voice…

He needs to be reprimanded and we need to be firm but at no point must he be scared of us, I want him to learn right from wrong without ever thinking we love him any less – I just hate the look of fear he had like he couldn’t trust us.

I’m not naive, I realise that this is not going to be easy, even though we have since birth opted for the “explain things to him” route (even when people are looking at me funny for explaining to a one-year-old in a shop that he can have only one packet of chips or that I don’t want him running around because I don’t want people to steal him)…and it mostly works. He is hitting the terrible twos now so we will be tempted to lose it, but here’s hoping/praying/trying my best to keep my wits about me, in even the most trying situation…

He needs to know that even though I don’t love what he is doing I will always love him

Exercise and other things I lie about

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So I need to lose weight, roughly the equivilent of Miley Cyrus and at least two one direction band memebers…
Okay in all seriousness I need to lose 20kgs, my stomach just turned typing that, how is this possible? how is that tiny little thing people used to tease because she was so small, how does she need to amputate a leg and half an arm to be at her goal weight?!?!
Not even her goal weight, the goal weight set by doctors for optimum health!!!
The insulin resistance diet didn’t go all that well in December, I became one of THOSE people
plain yogurt for breakfast, carrot sticks for lunch, the entire fridge for supper…
and a woolies food opened near my house, so ja that’s not my fault!
But I hate feeling uncomfortable in my skin, and I hate that so much of my cute clothes don”t fit.
Also I’m at risk of becoming diabetic and the damage from my two emergency c-sections means I have NO core strength… So there needs to be less quantity to ensure quality around here
last week I started eating better and exercising…  I work fairly long hours and live almost an hour away, so you best believe I have no energy for the gym and riding an imaginary bike or rowing and imaginary boat by the time that I get home… and Aidan has been without me the whole day and get’s very needy. 
So now I do a form of toddler exercise… I walk him around the block on his push bike and jump with him on his trampoline (technically I put my rebounder by his play trampoline and we jump together, it’s actually helping with his counting…2 birds one stone)
I want to try out some exercise DVD’s with him as well, because he loves to dance and would think I’m just dancing….
also my dad and I are starting a elliptical challenge tonight, the most minutes racked up in the week wins…. It’s going to be me!!!! 
Have an awesome week all!

Oh look there goes your sleep routine

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..
Aidan passed out on the floor , because apparently this is more comfy

Like with many toddlers I know, the holiday from day care messed with their routines good and proper. A month is a long time in toddler time.
Aidan for one is so not about the sleeping these days, yes this is the same child who will lay down in the middle of a shopping centre because he needs a nap…
The bed time routine of :mommy lays with you reads, sings, prays and then tip toes out while you lay there all drowzy is a thing of the past ,hey Aidan
Now I find myself begging for him to just be quiet for a second and sleep for the love of all that’s holy sleep!

He has started all these stalling tactics when it comes to bed time, like putting his farm animals to sleep individually (I kid you not, blanket and pillow,the works) he sings along to lullabies and acts out bed time stories (wish I was making this shizz up) he tried to blow his play house down after the three little pigs, and re-enacts Goldilocks eating porridge oh and gets way too excited about colourful monsters.
He isn’t afraid of the dark and will walk around in his room if I don’t restrain him. The little procrastinator even uses the I must put toys away excuse.(like he ever cared that one of the blocks isn’t with the others)

Last night he decided there was not enough milk in his bottle (take note that he doesn’t drink his bottle to fall asleep, it was leftover milk from earlier).
So he just gets up in his dark room while his exasperated mom watches him join his dad in the kitchen, a few seconds later he emerges with milk from the fridge and his bottle which I need to top up…because bottles need to be full to stand by your bed. (the milk out of the fridge thing is no surprise though, he has been known to “start” his snacks, he will go into kitchen take out pack of provita, milk, a fruit or fruit puree and give it to me to assemble)

He has even started making his nightly prayers longer so he doesn’t have to sleep…God bless ma, pa, mummy daddy…… now has cats trees cars balls and needs to be repeated twice or thrice.

In an attempt to tire him out a little I started jumping on trampoline with him after work, tonight I’m adding a bike ride around the block…. Hopefully he will get tired and I will get fit…2 birds meet 1 stone

Meanwhile this is me:



10 things I learnt this week…

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– cottage cheese mixed with apple and sprinkled with cinnamon rocks as a snack
– my son can be a little jerk, he gets “angry tired” these days, throws toys, tries to hit you, tired
– Aidan is extremely busy and can mess up a clean home in no time flat , a friend dubbed him Tornaidan
– He is never a jerk at other peoples’ houses ‘(thank goodness) so I look like a loony toon who doesn’t appreciate her good mannered son, he will go as far as wiping up his own spills
– He can “talk now” he knows quite a few words and can say little sentences too…some sweet like, “Momma hair pretty” some cute, “daddy bring keys. go shop” others annoying “mama go away, go away I bath”
– I’m an “at least once a week someone needs to come help me with my house work” kind of girl, our cleaning lady has been gone for a month, my sanity is slowly joining her. Working a full looong day and then coming home to clean, spend time with Aidan, make the lunches, jaaaa I’m not one of THOSE moms I know many moms are, I’m just not
– I’m a chronic over thinker, and will put myself in an institution if I don’t learn to RELAX
– An institution didn’t sound so bad a couple times this week…being back on the field after three years of desk work has me quite exhausted thank you very much
– My sister is turning 21 this week so I’m officially old…if anyone you used to bath and dress and so on and so forth “comes  of age” you are officially old,lol

– I need a routine, who knew, here I thought I was a free spirit, but you take routine out of my life and I’m grabbing at the air looking for something solid to lean on…

When this wife and mom thing gets REAL

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Sometimes I feel like I’m failing my son,my husband and myself…

Yesterday was one of those days.

Picture this; I’m standing in a messy house (despite our best efforts, having Aidan “on holiday” from day care, the two day a week cleaning lady on leave for 3 weeks so far with no indication of when she will be back, and us only having random days off from work, is really starting to show).

I’m ankle deep in washed but not ironed or packed away clothes looking for something to wear to work today. Something that actually fits! I’ve got menstrual cramps, a pie made from Robs leftover chicken curry in the oven and the annoying sound of the TV ringing in my ears (can’t take music or TV when I’m tense…I’m a silence please kind of girl). The monthly budget still needs to be done and I have a strong suspicion it’s about to sound like our GPS, “recalculating recalculating”…

Aidan looks up at me with the last reminence of a discontinued lipstick (I was totally saving) plastered on his face. The cookie cutter in his hand evidence of him having packed out the toy box I just painstakingly “sorted out”.

I’m not really up to arguing with him right now, having recently reprimanded him for unpacking all the spices in the spice rack, throwing the bottles in a big popcorn bowl and then stiring it with a braai skewer he got off the table by using that same popcorn bowl as a stepping stool…

But then he starts hurling things at me and laughing like a cartoon villain.

 Rolled up socks mostly but the whole experience stings.

I don’t want a child who is into gratuitous violence thank you very much.
He seems to be doing this when tired these days and it has been added to my list of parenting queries under; why doesn’t my child eat and why does he find the naughty corner so funny. 

With the anxiety of starting a new job in the back of my mind (I don’t doubt that I can actually do it – not my first rodeo – but haven’t had to pitch story ideas in ages and I always freak out before starting anything new…its kinda my thing) 

Suddenly I was just so overwhelmed, I couldn’t take it anymore and collapsed in a heap, tears rolling down my face. 

I don’t think I would have got a mothering licence if that was a thing.

The report would say things like, questionable housekeeping habits,  not up to challenge of cooking three square meals a day, looses her temper when building blocks are hurled at her, a complete failure in the get back into shape after baby arena,works entirely too much, has counted popcorn and half a yogurt as supper for a toddler because the daily “oh dear goodness eat something!anything!please” thing had run its course…and so on and so forth.

I sat down feeling utterly defeated, calling for a life time-out (on the first of January nogal) 

That’s when the cutest thing happened…Aidan handed me his sippy cup and broke a cracker in half (not sure where he got it,don’t wanna know) handed it to me and said “share mamma”…

He lay next to me silently sipping on milk and rubbing my hand.

Meanwhile his Dad had salvaged the practically burning pie, packed our lunches (my job as he does supper and I do breakfast and lunch) and even cleaned up the kitchen. 

I found myself suddenly feeling so silly…. so what if I’m not perfect? I have found my perfect place with these two and they appreciate and accept me craziness and all and that right there is what it’s all about 🙂
 
 

 

 

 

 

Prayers for Aidan’s brothers…

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I’m not sure if God brother is a “thing” well lets imagine it is, Aidan will be getting two of those by his next birthday.
Seriously his Godmother (my sister) and Godfather (Rob’s brother) are both expecting little boys in the new year and we are very excited.
Caleb (my sister’s child) will be here in February and the yet unnamed Meyers boy, hehehe, will be here in March.
We are very excited as Aidan will have two new playmates, which includes a buddy right next door. This means people can’t play the “he is so lonely have a baby right away card” for a while, hehehe (selfish I know)
Anyway we got the shock of our lives this weekend when my sister was admitted to hospital, with “complications”…
Caleb being exactly the age Logan was when he died…It brought back so many emotions and it’s safe to say the family was well and truly freaked out!
It was such a scary time and we honestly never realised just how affected we all are by child loss and fear and not wanting to be anywhere near a hospital.
They are both fine now and I like to think God just used this experience to kind of “wake us up”  we all realised just how wanted (albeit unexpected) this child is and how ready we all are to make him part of the family…

I know first hand that child birth is not a instant mix situation so I keep praying for both of them to be  safe and sound…

I won’t lie it’s kinda scary to know that Aidan getting partners in crime… Next year this time, we will have a 2-year-old and a nine month in Uitenhage and a 2-year-old and eight month old in PE.
I can already see Aidan “helping”  his cousins get into trouble, like he does with any friend that visits… getting them to hand him things he is not allowed to play with and open doors he is not allowed to go through… and this will be the case at BOTH grandmother’s houses.

If these boys are anything like their cousin…Basically a well mannered monkey, hehehe…wish us luck..

Exciting times ahead…