I don’t always feel needed at home…
This thought came to me when I was spending a few nights in hospital with Aidan and he was humming himself to sleep while other kids would not let go of their moms.
Aidan would instruct ; “hold me for a little bit mommy” and then continue to entertain himself and argue with the nurses about the drip/IV which he feels is very much like a human phone charger.
“This thing makes me stuck, I can take medicine with my mouth I don’t need needles”
When Rob reluctantly went home (only one can stay) I didn’t have to cook his food, iron his clothes or do anything but say bye before hand. In fact the house was much cleaner after he spent the night alone there.
It’s the same when we are all home. My boys are fiercely independent. Aidan (at 2 and a half) can make lunch (cheese spread on crackers and a fruit mostly) and put tv on for himself, he can play by himself, set up everything for his bath (minus the hot water) choose his own clothes and even successfully pack a bag for an outing (bringing it to me to check … I usually have to unpack a few randoms)
I’ve mentioned before that Rob cooks at home, he also irons, does the dishes and can go grocery shopping with just a few helpful hints from me (step away from the carbs your wife is allergic to carbs…that sorta thing) – (this makes me sound lazy, I do can do these things too just for clarification, hehe)
Their self sufficient attitudes make me feel like they can go on merrily without me. Everyone will be clothed and fed and entertained (thank you technology for that part)
I know that if I died tomorrow they would be fine without me and that to be honest they could survive without me now already.
I know this when it’s a Friday evening and I am crafting in my little studio, Rob is playing Xbox and Aidan is playing in his room stopping ever so often to sneak a snack out of the kitchen and to make sure we are still around.
DESPITE the knowledge that I’m not really “NEEDED” by them I have a strong sense of joy knowing that instead I am “WANTED” by them.
I know that although Rob can cook a three course meal by himself, he wants me to be in kitchen with him giving my opinions and making side dishes he deems too green but eats anyway.
I know that he is happiest on his own playing games or reading a crime novel, but wants me close by so he can catch my eye every so often and “check if I am alright”.
I know that Aidan is a brave lil bugger who doesn’t easily back down but still wants me to hold his hand when he gets scared.
He can play by himself but I know he prefers it if I play with him and that I can get him to stop in mid tantrum if I promise to do a craft with him.
He can also prepare a snack but wants me to stand there and see him “do it self”.
I know I’m wanted when the two of them loiter in my craft room when I’m working on a project sheepishly asking when I can come hang out with them.
I know I’m wanted when they leave me for some “me time” and phone me every 30min to check in.
I know I’m wanted when I try to read and they come rough-house at my feet so I don’t feel left out. (For the love of literature let me be left out)
When they get sick and tell me so every few minutes (men hehe) I know I’m wanted.
I know I’m wanted when there are three couches in the tv room and floor pillows in the next room but they both have to sit on the bed/couch practically ontop of me because a foot in your ear is better than sitting alone.
I know in wanted because even in my most unflattering clothes and moodiest of moods they look at me like some super hero princess and make me feel special.
So although I don’t always feel needed I ALWAYS feel wanted and in some ways that’s even better.
– how does your family make you feel wanted
