2014 ready or not here we go :)

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So today is all about new beginnings, no not new years resolutions and such, more like a genuine, not likely to be tweaked – like I do new years resolutions…“new start”

It’s a bitter sweet day, sweet because today I start a new job, well new position more like it…promotion baby! hehehe 
 and bitter because after 10years of studying and working with my  bestie, Robyn, she has opted to follow her dream and become a teacher and today is her first day of not working with me. Also sad that another good friend, Neo, left the city for a job in her home town-so I’m feeling ever so slightly sorry for myself. Because the selfish part of me will miss them terribly and doesn’t see why I have to suffer so they can have better lives and  follow their passions and what not, hehehe….I kid I’m very happy for them and wish them all the best!
But it’s the end of an era so to speak…
We went out on Tuesday for NYE to party it up an usher in a new year of new beginnings, look who wore shorts….ME!!!!!!!
I hope that your 2014 is full of pleasant surprises J because those are the best surprises  HAPPY NEW YEAR
(Read as yesterdays post because I was not able to upload anything yesterday, not sure why)

All the best my friend, work will not be the same without you.
So proud of you for following your dream, you will be raking in those world’s best teacher mugs for sure 🙂

I miss you most at Christmas

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Warning: Don’t read if, like some, you find posts about my late son tiresome….

I’m not over it! I know “I should be” , I’m expected to be, but I’m not.
Yes I have to most adorable little boy and yes I’m happy with him and my husband but truth is, I don’t think my husband or myself will ever be 100% fine.
At heart I’m still the girl who was rushed to hospital unaware of what lay ahead, the one who blames herself for not noticing signs before, like the cramping that night – that night that before now didn’t raise any warning bells. I’m the one who naively phoned her dad excited to be able to visit her son for the first time but was instead greeted by the tear stained face of her husband, who had just washed his hands in preparation of spending time with his newborn son, but was instead faced with the most grim of realities, his sons death, and was now forced to convey that message to a wife who in his mind was still standing at deaths door – a message relayed by doctors and grief stricken family the day before.
I’m still the girl who had a tiny white coffin in her lounge, next to the piano which belonged to my husbands late grandmother and couches given to me as a wedding present by my now deceased,but then extremely supportive, aunt.
I’m the girl who dragged herself to her feet and fought back the looming depression and instead of letting pain consume her, started life anew.
A life that now includes a bouncing baby boy who at birth couldn’t breath, and who had nurses,doctors,friends and family praying to God to not let this couple,who were holding on to a tiny fragment of hope,experience again what they did just over a year before …..A little boy who as I type lays beside me, an angel of 8 months old who has renewed in me a sense that broken hearts can indeed love and NO I’m not over it and that’s OK, Logan is his bother and my son and his short little life was not insignificant, it taught me so much and for that I will be eternally grateful….
Merry Christmas Loggie Bear

Five years and counting . . .

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Yesterday we celebrated our 5th anniversary at a wedding, coincidentally it was the wedding of the person who first introduced Robin and myself, his cousin and my friend, Luchae…(luchae and I initially bonded over a love of singing and a peculiar pre-teen rebellious streak – We both used to read with torches under the covers after “lights out”)  With Rob in army she thought we should chat as she felt we have a similar sense of humour. . . The rest is history…
Can’t believe it has been 5 years already, actually I can’t believe it has only been 5 years. We have weathered so many storms from unemployment, different shifts (I was at home at night and him during the day), a long distance marriage (when he went to police academy)  illnesses, fights, family drama, losing our son, almost losing my own life, losing his dad and my God mother, financial issues created by funerals and medical bills, our newborn struggling to breath and spending the longest week of my life in the same NICU where his brother died  .  . . But also promotions and a new car and a new baby and great friends and amazing family and trying out new recipes together and going on family trips and putting our faith in God as a family and learning to cope with a colicky turned happy hyper baby and late night binges followed by guilt fuelled gym sessions and  . . .
I feel very blessed to have found someone who GETS ME! And supports me, isn’t afraid to dissagree with me or say sorry…Like the song goes “I’d rather have bad times with you than good times with someone else”
Looking super young five years ago

Luchae and her hubby Chris!!! Congrads guys stay the positive love filled couple you are

Guess who is 8 months old

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It took me forever to get a halfway decent pic on the chair
APPEARANCE:   He is a big boy, tall and heavy and looks set to have a whoooole lot of curly hair

PERSONALITY: Aidan is still VERY into music, he even hums himself to sleep sometimes. He also plays “drums” along with any tune, like if there is a show on tv he will play around with his toys but when an ad with a jingle comes on he needs to stop, “bang his drums” and dance until tune is over. It is so cute. He is also very chatty and even his cries are wordy…he doesn’t just cry, no its mamamamama nananana (and what sounds like eina) He crawls like a champ and is sooo proud of himself. But is also quite a danger to himself as he pulls on everything and gets into everything. Climbing is his thing, LOVES IT!
ROUTINE:  He spends day with my mom and is learning a lot. Feels like everyday I come home and he has learnt something new. He is at that clingy stage  though and to be honest I wish he would play alone a little more, like when I pack my gym bag, because as it is he just wants to hold onto my leg.

LOVES: New found independence of crawling around and dancing

DISLIKES: He seems to be against the basics of babyness… he doesn’t like sleeping, eating or being changed, which I thought  is what babies do

MOM:  Could do with a nap

We don’t like to “sit nicely”