Back from a week of nothingness, with a new mantra

 
 
I took a week off from work, from blogging, from constantly serving the net, even a week off from my diet and exercise routine.
I just wanted to be, that’s it and I think it did wonders, I did some needlepoint and even started learning crochet 🙂 yes I turn into a crafty old person when I relax,hehehe
but mainly I ate things without looking at the calorie content and watched loads of Disney channel 😉
I know it seems like I’m constantly taking time off, hehe, thing is I actually never used to take much time off and my leave days were stacking up
so I though why not take some  days off, I’m no use to anyone while I’m all stressed out anyway
I think every now and again you just need to log-off, I wont lie, I still checked my email, but that aside I was very sloth like 🙂
And despite feeling the post holiday exhaustion I’m ready to take on the world again, ready to face all the crap it seems to want to throw my way. Well sorta
Like I said I have a new mantra,”No1 lives your decisions except you, so no1 gets to make them except you” from the same person who gave me my current mantra,” No Fear, Just Faith”  
I know this is something most of my friends and family have said to me countless times in the past, but I believe you need to hear these things when you are in right mind space for the  “life changing affirmation” to actually be “life changing”
Also Danelle (she’s the long haired cartoon person in my picture and a good friend, we used to write a blog and a column for the paper together and that pic, featuring me in all my pouty-faced Afro glory went with our articles) has a way of putting things that make you “Get it”
Any who I like the phrase and will be trying to remember it as I continue this often painful journey  🙂
PS. The cartoon was created by another amazing woman I know, Lana, who you can check out at NogSteedsLana 

“No1 lives your decisions except you, so no1 gets to make them except you”

A new home for my mind

 
 
My blog has a new look 🙂
Why? well because my life has a new look.
It feels in many ways that since Logan died my life has gone into technicolour. My highs are higher and my lows are lower, in general everything is just more and I thought my blog should portray that, it should be more and show off all the aspects of me. 
The overwhelming heartache that comes from losing my son, the happiness that comes from spending time with friends and family, the joy that comes from my relationship with God and just my views on everyday life.
I love fashion, I love food, I love photography and I love being able to share my life with so many amazing people, I also love blogging; it’s put in touch with so many great people. (Just wish more of you would comment here and not just on twitter and fb-I love being able to interact with readers-also please leave links to your blogs so I can check them out)
 
Heres the format I’m hoping my blog will take:
(Inbetween general chats and vents and finally finishing this picture challenge eventially)
 

MONDAY: my weekend in pictures
TUESDAYS: News day (anything in news that moves me)
WEDNESDAY: Web day (what ever I’m liking on the interweb)
THURSDAY: Her day (her is me and its DIY, Pics – anything Im into this week)
FRIDAY: Food and fashion (resturant reviews from me and hubby and the Sal’s VERY POPULAR collages)
SATURDAY: Outfit posts (Im not making promises on this one)
* Well this is my mind’s new home, welcome 🙂

They like me, they really really like me

Today was my first day back at work, and seems (as usual) the anticipation was far scarier than the actual day.
I honestly am surrounded by the best people, I was truly showered with love the whole day. Even got flowers (Thank you Angie) chocolate (Thank you Zandi) and cinnabon (Thank you Robyn) Also received a ton of messages from family and friends wishing my luck in "the real world"
Its weird, when I was younger I spent so much of my time feeling disconnected from everyone else. So it's a great to feel like I belong-in whatever small way-in the hearts/lives of so many great people.

Use me God

At Logan's funeral we sang "make me a sunbeam" the song came to me when he died, I remember humming it while watching my two boys (the first and last time I'll see that) Rob was cradling Logan and it is the single most beautiful and saddest thing ill ever see (I'm often humming when I'm emotional so it was not out of usual, but the song was rather out of the blue)

Today a preacher on TV spoke about praying for others with the same conviction you would pray for yourself and also listening out for ways God would like to use you in the service of others.

What humbled me about that is the fact that I've been able to see that in so many ways in this sad time.

I've seen people visibly distraught for our loss, prayers were offered on our behalf when we couldn't form congruent sentences (still can't sometimes) and people have stepped in with all these gestures of kindness, that have not gone unnoticed.

Like the song we sang at Logan's funeral (at the time it meant God was taking Logan to be a sunbeam looking down at us from heaven, that in a way my sunshine was taken away) so many people have gone out of their way to be sunbeams for us, to show God's grace through their actions.

Now all I ask is that I can do that for others, that I can be used in whatever small way to be a little ray of sun in someone else's life.

Honouring with light

In honour of my angel's first month in heaven *sob* I did some pictures with light.
I needed to do something, anything to highlight this milestone (as sad as it may be)
The pictures were inspired by a friend's blog (davene prinsloo).