Project de-clutter my life. . .phase one

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I feel awful! run down! and exhausted! I’m not sure if it’s just because I have iron deficiency anaemia and low blood pressure which is currently in a bad phase or if I have just been burning the candle at both ends so long I ran out of wick?  But I’m so out of it I can’t follow a conversation let alone participate in one.
Feeling like regurgitated death for the last few days has seen me cancel, reschedule and shorten appointments…Things that were non-negotiable become pretty negotiable when you can’t keep food down (oh the recurring ulcer is recurring-I didn’t realise that I was supposed to still be taking meds and being on a restrictive diet so instead of getting better, I got worse)
The need to say no has made me realise something, “it’s okay to say no”
I always fear that people will think they don’t mean much to me if I can’t be there for them whenever they need me. If  I can’t drop what I’m doing and see to others I’m selfish and not worthy of their friendship.

My inner dialogue can be brutal: 
I need to be there for family – “She forgot where she comes from doesn’t even have time for us.”
 I need to be there for friends – “I bet if so and so asked she would do it, she is clearly not as good a friend as I thought”
I need to be there for work – “She has lost focus since becoming a mother, maybe the responsibility is too much for her”
I need to be there for husband – “This is NOT how a good wife behaves”
I need to be there for Aidan – “So you work whole day and then don’t have time for me, a good mom would have time for me”
I need to be there for my crafting and photography business – “This is why you will never be successful, you can’t commit”
I need to be there for my blog – “You are not even funny or entertaining, quit while you’re ahead buddy”
I need to be there for my “household duties” – “When last did you bake anything? your finances are in shambles and I think there is a Lego in the dishwasher…you suck at this!”
I need to be there for my health and fitness – “You are fat, unfit and now sickly too, what’s the point in trying really?”

I’m just soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo tired!!!
So unapologetic, holy cow can’t I win a night in a hotel room by myself, tired!

So in a bid to not end up in a corner rocking myself back and forth humming kumbaya I decided to de-clutter…

With Rob’s help I am vowing…for the rest of the year at least…
–  Only one RSVP per Saturday/Sunday . . . Running from a breakfast function, to a lunch time birthday party, and then a supper event is not working for us…We end up irritable and don’t enjoy ourselves because we need to watch check the whole time.
–  No more big crafting jobs for the near future, I just don’t have the time to make 100 invitations or party favors, small scale stuff – sure, help out people – sure, but no more big jobs, I just don’t have the time or energy
–  Bring back date night – it’s about time we had at least one meal without begging one of the people at the table to draw on the paper supplied not the table
– Start going to church more regularly, I’ve become one of those special occasion church goers, which is fine for some people (Spirituality and religion is a personal decision) I just remember growing up in the church and want that for Aidan
– Sign up for a Christian women’s retreat I need the down time and time to reconnect…
– Take charge of my finances…I’m way too disorganised
– Cook meals ahead of time- which give us more time after work with Aidan and to go for walks
– Downgrade my extra mural activities, to blogging and the occasional party photo shoot (love photographing kids parties)
– STOP BEING SO HARD ON ME!

Wish me luck! this running around like a headless chicken thing, means I end up with a ton of unfinished projects. NOT a good look

I think I prefer tears

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I took two days off to help Aidy adjust to his routine….He is a “school” going boy now and day one is done and dusted while day two is in progress…
I expected some tears and “mommy don’t go” instead I got nothing of the sort…I got “hurt” he looked at me with such hurt and seemed so betrayed it broke my heart…
Actually when I picked him up he walked over to me emotionless and stepped on my foot before allowing me to pick him up…
This morning I dropped him off and he kinda just accepted it, didn’t cry after me but also wasn’t thrilled to be left there he just stared at me with big eyes … fighting off his teachers attempts to lure him away…eventually she took him to ball pit and that helped,but the guilt oh the guilt – here is to things getting better “once he gets used to it”
Is just under 17 months not a little young for emotional blackmail?

It’s time to share some hope. . .

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Aidan starts Educare today (half day)…He has snacks in his bag and had a good breakfast at home (yes a hand full of oaties and a bottle of Nido counts if the child in question is not a fan of eating)
The scary thing is, loads of kids across South Africa go to school hungry everyday…I can’t imagine how these little ones are expected to pay attention in class with growling tummies 🙁

Tony Ferguson Weightloss South Africa, Dis-Chem Pharmacies, The Dis-Chem Foundation and African Dynamics have joined forces in an effort to fill some of these tummies,this spring.
They plan on distributing up to 200 000 meals to hungry primary-school children across the country and you can help by getting involved in the Share Hope Campaign

The Share Hope Campaign will see the partners donate a balanced, nutritious breakfast to a needy child for every Tony Ferguson Shake, Soup or full sized Munch Bar purchased from a participating Dis-Chem store between September and November.
The breakfast will be served in the form of a cereal packed with all the nutrients a growing child needs and only needs to be mixed with water for a filling meal…

The program runs between September and November which is an ideal time to drop some weight for that December bikini body…and now while you get skinny you can fatten up a child who needs it (ironic but genius)

 You even stand in line to win one of four  R2000 vouchers monthly by just telling more people about the program…
All you have to do is go HERE and click share…and share it with your friends on facebook, it’s THAT easy what do you have to lose.



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On the court, on the track, on the field… and now ONLINE!

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So it’s official I am now all out of excuses not to exercise…The “I don’t have time to get to a shop and get equipment or gym clothes” excuse is finally out the window with the launch of Mr Price Sport Store   I can now get what I need at the click of a button.
The first Mr Price Sport store opened its doors to the public in Boksburg on 27 July 2006. Just eight years later, they’re around the corner from opening their 70th store.
The concept behind the store is to make an active lifestyle more accessible for South Africans by offering affordable fitness apparel, sporting gear, recreational games and outdoor equipment.
It’s even more accessible now as every PC, tablet and smart phone is now a “Mr Price Sport Store”  and you can get what you want  when you need it. Seriously I could order things on Monday for a hike on Saturday and still have time to fit it  on Thursday and fake an injury on Friday
Because seriously sometimes even the fittest athletes don’t have the stamina to face a shopping mall.
( I assume, I’m not the fittest so can’t say for certain…I know I can’t stand malls myself)
You can  win a R5000 shopping voucher to get you started….seriously!!! go check it out HERE

Starting this fitness thing. . .
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Skimming Stones and answering questions

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Although I have not yet had the pleasure of meeting Ursula of Skimming Stones in person I like her already, she gives off such a laid back motherly vibe that it’s pretty hard not to just like her…
She blogs about her family and life and my favourite…DIY!!! so you really need to check out her blog…

Well I asked her some questions and she gave me some answers:

– Tell us a little about your family…

I have taken the scenic mothering route.  I fell pregnant at 20 with my eldest daughter, her father left me as soon as he found out that I was pregnant.  I met my first husband when just 2 months pregnant with Dominique.  He was very supportive and even attended antenatal classes with me, but he was also very young (21).  We dated and got engaged.  Not being one to learn from my mistakes I fell pregnant outside the sanctuary of marriage yet again.  Our wedding date moved forward and Heath was born in 1991.  Suddenly my young husband who had a yearning to travel,  found a wife and 2 children were more than he could cope with, he left when Heath was 6 weeks old.  For a long long time I was a single mother.  I met my husband Clifford (online) in 2004 and we were married the following year.  Cliff did not have children and really wanted a family,  Fjord was born in 2007 and Acacia in 2010.  Life is very different now, instead of having to go straight back to work leaving a 6 week old baby at home, I am now a stay at home mum.   Each of my children are unique and wonderful but I am a better mother now with the benefit of a little more wisdom, more experience and less stress.  

-What do you do when not blogging?

When I am not blogging I spend time with my children.  Today for example, I must shop for supper.  I need to cook supper early to be re-heated when I get home from doing a Proudly e tag free bridge banner protest this afternoon / early evening.  I really want to try out a yummy looking Stork recipe for coffee cookies so hope I have time to do that.  My husband comes home for lunch every day, I need to make sure that there is something for him to eat.  I then fetch my 7 year old son from school and do homework with him.  In between all that I would really love to find the time to finish making a nightie for my niece’s birthday, so far I have just embroidered her name on the front piece, must get cracking as her birthday is next Monday and I need to post it to get to Durban by then.  If we are organised enough after the children go to bed we will watch some tv and enjoy a glass of wine.

-What made you decide to blog?

I love writing but often went long stretches without writing anything more than a grocery list.  A friend suggested blogging and once I figured out what that was I was sold.  I do some creative writing and love doing those posts most.  I like to share positive and negative experiences with products and services.  Blogging also serves as a journal, I can remind myself how to make a duvet cover or where we stayed on a particular holiday.  It’s also useful when I loose the hard copy of a recipe.  

-What was your concept behind your blog?

With my first blog Sula 1968 I was so clueless that I didn’t even realize that would be the name of my blog when setting it up.  I then migrated to my own domain Skimming Stones for a few reasons which people who are more web smart than me advised.  My brother Paul from Print Wild set it up and hosts it for me.  I’m far too fragmented to have a concept, I write what I want when I feel like it for multiple reasons. 

-Did you find yourself nervous at prospect of letting people into your life in this way?

Nah, I’ve never been too bothered about sharing.  Many years ago I was in an abusive relationship which ended in a court case over the breach of a family violence interdict.  I realised then that it is so important to share as there are many going through what we are going through and feeling so alone.  That said I will never write the details if I have a row with someone, that is bad taste and they don’t get to air their side.  I did learn one hard lesson about the dangers of the internet.  I once posted about my son choosing to have his face painted as a butterfly instead of a more boyish thing, with that post I had a high resolution picture just of his face.  One morning after that I noticed that my blog stats for the previous evening were more than double the usual number of hits.  I clicked on the link where most traffic had come from and was horrified to see a post on a paedophile network with a link to my blog post and the comment “check out the lovely high res image of this cutie”.  I was totally freaked out, I deleted that post and any which showed my children too clearly, I then converted all the pictures to low resolutuion.   We really need to be aware that there are some very bad people out there. 

-Do you ever worry that your kids will be like “mom why are you exposing my life?”

I don’t really worry about that I think they will like to have a record of what we have done together.

-Does your family read your blog?

Some of my family read my blog, they seem to enjoy it. 

-What do you think about the blogging culture in South Africa?

To be honest I’m still learning about the blogging culture in SA, I read some amazing blogs, the ones which read too much like adverts are a bit of a bore.

-What do you think makes for a “good blog”

A number of things make for a good blog, firstly good writing.  I particularly enjoy the posts which I can identify with or learn from (crafts and recipes), I love humour. 

-How do you personally measure success in the blogging world

I guess the measure of sucess would be number of followers and number of comments.  In this case I have a long way to go.  I only have 12 e-mail subscription followers (sniff) and 38 people follow the facebook page for the blog.  Hmmm I guess that makes me a bit of a failure, oh well onwards and forwards.