New Blog for my Birthday…

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So in honour of my birthday…I HAVE A NEW LOOK BLOG!

I won it in a blog competition at www.osoinspired.blogspot.com YEAH ME!

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So it's my birthday again, I started the day out by reading last year's birthday post, Its amazing how much things can change but yet stay the same.

On one hand, I got my wish, I'm pregnant and pretty soon we will be starting our new lives with a bouncing baby boy – he has the bouncing thing down already! Along with uncomfortable stretching and loads of kicks…

On the other hand there's a lot of sadness in our lives as a family, my aunt/Godmother's prognosis is not good at all. The emotions related to it makes me wanna barf! U ever feel so emotional you wanna throw up? That's how I feel…like my body doesn't actually know how to process this information…All these memories of me spending time with my aunt clouds my head, its funny how you don't realise how integral someone is to your life until loss stares you square in the face.

Well that's me today, still keeping the faith even though I'm running low…

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My weekend in pics…

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So this past Friday one of my oldest friends, Jemaine, (in how long I know her,not age, we are only 5 days apart) celebrated her birthday with a girls supper at Ocean Basket…Mynie and I don't see each other all that often (we aim for once a month, but you know how that does) but when we catch up we always hit it off like we are back in high school, except we dress much better now!

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Then on Saturday I had a visit from great friends who I have really been missing now that I'm not at work…Liesl,Robyn&Ryan came over for a sort of impromptu potluck brunch … Robyn and Ryan's ridiculously cute twins, Blake(the boy) and Riley(the girl), made me even more excited for Aidan's arrival…here's a weird thing; everytime the twins would giggle Aidan would kick up a fuss,I wonder if you can suffer from FOMO (fear of missing out) before birth?

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Anyway I had a good weekend, and just in time as my body doesn't like standing or sitting or laying down all that much anymore…well 25days to go šŸ˜€

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Happy birthday to an angel

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It's my first born son's first birthday today…but there's no him, no 1 to be completely oblivious to whatever theme caught my fancy, no 1 to be freaked out/fascinated by the candle on the cake, no friends or family or gifts to be opened, no party packs or banners, no nervous mom or tired dad, no clean up after toddlers and no exuberant joy… Just memories of our angel, arms that ache to hold him, tear stained pillows and a love that is forever his……Love you Logan Allan Meyers "our forever baby"

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I dedicate Memoriam by Toya Delazy to our boy (do follow the link and listen to the song, powerful stuff) …http://www.toyadelazy.com/music/due-drop

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A YEAR LATER

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Exactly a year ago today the above pic was taken, I remember it all so vividly, rob and I in the waiting room trying to act all "respectable" making small talk with the technician when all we wanted was to see our little boy NOW!

Then we finally did and he was soooo cute, little Logan Allan Meyers had us all enthralled, everyone there marveled at this active little ball of energy and we fell in love…then the cramps started…soon I was rushed to hospital and as readers of my blog you know the rest…the next day (shortly after midnight actually) Logan was born, he lived the 6th and part of the 7th and passed away before I got the chance to meet him in person… I can't believe it's been a year already;

a year that made me appreciate friends and family so much more, especially my husband who proved to literally love me to death and back-there's a weird bond that forms when you can see in someone's eyes that your safety is paramount…

A year in which I both hated God and relied on him with all that is within me, a year that I had no faith one day and nothing but faith the next…

A year we lost our son and then were blessed with a miracle (his brother) who we await with baited breath and hearts filled with both fear and joy…

OH WHAT A YEAR!

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Time to learn from the best. . .

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Itā€™s my last day at work today,  from tomorrow I wait for my life to be changed completelyā€¦Iā€™m a routine type of person, getting up, taking the train with a smoothie/coffee and a good book, getting to work before everyone else then  settling in and tackling the day is how I do things (itā€™s my norm)ā€¦well not from tomorrow, tomorrow I wake up and apart from doctors appointments, Iā€™m expected to stay in bed and ā€œincubateā€ Oh how the anxiety of a lack of routine is eating at meā€¦ I see a lot of hanging out watching my mom work in my future, I usually LOVE LOVE being alone, I really do but Iā€™m suddenly like a little child who wants to be checked on, my mom says Iā€™m aging in reverse as I was a fiercely independent kid who loved to be left alone now Iā€™m the ā€œwhat you doingā€ type.
Anyway I see a lot of bothering her in my future, which is funny because like me she prefers her alone time and unlike me she is not afraid to say it, seriously my mom will look you straight in the eye and say, ā€œdonā€™t you have some place to be I want to take a napā€ā€¦(I had to get her  to wash my hair last night because the logistics of tummy and basin were not working for me-she argued that two weeks shy of my 28th birthday she must have done more than her share  of ā€˜taking care of meā€™ by now and that she should be allowed to opt out, because even fathers who pay child support are done by 18)- even with her sassiness love her to bits and know she has a lot to teach me about being a mom.
She had me when she was pretty young and says she never quite knew what to do with me (apparently I started the teenage angst thing around the age of 7) she also spent a lot of time at work when I was growing up, but she always had time for me, making much of my toys – from dolls to play dough – and always being willing to stop whatever it was she was doing to give me (and my siblings) attentionā€¦she was the one who taught me to skip rope and even challenged me on the jungle gym and swings (to this day she beats me on all of those), we didnā€™t have much, but I always had the knowledge that I was loved and wanted, and thatā€™s the most important thing I want for Aidan, I want him to know that he is ā€œWantedā€  . . .
Iā€™ll be blogging whenever I get the chance/inspiration. I REALLY REALLY cant wait to introduce our lil boy to all of you J  

 
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