So this weekend . . .

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I tried out the big hair thing and a jerseylicious pose, cos I can

I had breakfast with my fave man at our fav place (Saffron)

I hung out with my niece Kammy, she’s getting so big now, sheez

and we lost, one of the most amazing people I have ever had the honour of knowing
Kayla, you will be missed!!! 🙁

When all you can do is pray

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My world needs a hug, you know how everyone has “their world” like everyone is in a different “sitcom” which dictates how they view the world like on Friends, Joey was one of the click and on the show Joey he was the main guy? am I making any sense?
 
When I say my world, I mean ppl I care for, those I see/speak to/interact with most. “My loved ones” Well these people, the ones that mean most to me in the world, so many of them are in pain and it breaks my heart.
 
Death, separation, unemployment,abuse,depression,financial problems,illness it’s like the bad news fairy dumped a whole lot of fairy dust in our direction and it’s not the badaboom, “your pumpkin is a car, go off and dance with a Prince” kind of dust,its badaboom “your hopes and dreams have been shattered kind of dust”.
 
My dad was saying the other day I’m worse than the evening news, I never have “great news” anymore, there is no, So and So is so happy, so and so is getting married or doing so great . . . (there are obviously things like that, a few couples I know are engaged, others have just become parents, there is good but bad has a tendency to overshadow that)
 
My faith has never been tested quite like this, I’m sure most people will agree it really sucks when there is nothing you can do for those you love, there’s no magic pill to cure heartache there are no words than can comfort real despair. There’s nothing I can do, except be there for them and give the prayers of my heart over to the Lord, sometimes it’s just so hard to remember, “He’s got this” God is in control, we just need to trust him. . .
 
 

Webday: My Fitness Pal

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I spend loads of time on the net and have decided to start sharing my favourite websites and apps: Today, “MyFitnessPal”
I’m a avid calorie counter, yes I’m THAT annoying friend that know more or less how much calories there are in that chocolate you are scoffing down. This by no means means I’m all skinny and eat “all the right things” it just means I’m fully aware of when I eat “the wrong things”.
Calorie counting is said to be,(according to web definitions that is) “a way of planning and tracking weight loss as well as weight maintenance. Essentially, you must make sure you eat as many calories as you burn daily to maintain your weight, or, eat less than you burn to shed excess weight.“
 
There is tons of literature on the net, against calorie counting, since it’s not an exact science, and tons of literature promoting calorie counting because it puts you in control.
I like it for a few reasons, (number 1) I fell like I’m taking charge, I know what I put in my body and (number 2) this is important because I have IBS and can identify triggers in this way.(number 3) I don’t have a restrictive diet, which means I can go out for lunch with friends or supper with Rob and have more than a celery stalk and a glass of water, as long as it falls inside my “daily calorie intake” so I will have a have less of A to make room for B
It’s more of a lifestyle thing than a quick fix so you wont wake up in three days all svelte and what not, but I have friends who will agree, it feels great to take charge and see a difference. Personally I gained LOADS!!! (17kg at 6months loads) when I was pregnant and am now only 4kgs away from my pre-baby weight, keeping in mind the only exercise I’ve been able to keep up is running up bills and jumping to conclusions (old joke I know)
 
In the past food journals were used to keep track of what you are and so on, but that’s seriously tiresome and seriously who knows off hand how many calories there are in a samich or an apple even. This is where My fitness pal comes in (there are tons of other calorie counters out there and I’ve tried a few calorie counter by fat secret is my number 2).
 
What I like about My fitness pal:
– The fact that they have a very large database of food (and if they don’t have it you can add it – info on back of food packages)
– They have a large database of exercises
– You can track your weight and measurements (privately)
– It has a GREAT blackberry app for on the go
– And you can invite/accept friends who can then motivate you along your way
– You can have me as a friend, hehehe, my username is ALWENE 
 
Happy Wednesday 

My tattoo + prayer request

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So I have a tattoo now. . .  I never thought I’d get one, not because I have anything against tattoos, I just didn’t have anything I felt so strongly about, I’d etch it into my skin forever. When I was younger I toyed with the idea of getting a music note, I like music notes and since singing is such a big part of who me, it felt right, but then I never got around to it.

Then Logan died and ever since I’ve yearned for a way to have some sort of tangible memento of him, something that couldn’t be taken away like he was…that’s where the tattoo came in. I had a couple of design ideas and never knew what exactly I wanted, but then it hit me, his name (If you look back on my blog, he had that name from the very beginning) everyone knows it and it feels “right” to have it displayed so proudly – on my wrist. I also opted for a butterfly because that is what he is to me, My little butterfly, I had him in the cocoon of my womb and before I could catch him he had flown out of my reach. and it just so happens that every time I really miss him especially at his grave, butterflies will visit and it warms my heart to have this as a “connection with him” – well aware that people might think I’m reading way more into butterfly thing than there is, but I like to think of it as a God’incodence (phrase used by my friend, Leisl) Anyway I had it done in Uth at Tattoo Junkie and it was far less painful than I expected and I would recommend the owner, Ryan to anyone.
PS. I have a prayer request for all of you faithful people out there, two amazing women I know need divine intervention right now, one is battling with life threatening health problems and the other lost her baby just the other day. I don’t want to divulge anymore because it’s really not my place, but I have always believed in Mathew 18:20 “For where two or three gather in my name, there am I in the midst of them” so I believe the more people pray for them the better. So please say a silent prayer for them, God knows who I mean
HAPPY TUESDAY

Back from a week of nothingness, with a new mantra

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I took a week off from work, from blogging, from constantly serving the net, even a week off from my diet and exercise routine.
I just wanted to be, that’s it and I think it did wonders, I did some needlepoint and even started learning crochet 🙂 yes I turn into a crafty old person when I relax,hehehe
but mainly I ate things without looking at the calorie content and watched loads of Disney channel 😉
I know it seems like I’m constantly taking time off, hehe, thing is I actually never used to take much time off and my leave days were stacking up
so I though why not take some  days off, I’m no use to anyone while I’m all stressed out anyway
I think every now and again you just need to log-off, I wont lie, I still checked my email, but that aside I was very sloth like 🙂
And despite feeling the post holiday exhaustion I’m ready to take on the world again, ready to face all the crap it seems to want to throw my way. Well sorta
Like I said I have a new mantra,”No1 lives your decisions except you, so no1 gets to make them except you” from the same person who gave me my current mantra,” No Fear, Just Faith”  
I know this is something most of my friends and family have said to me countless times in the past, but I believe you need to hear these things when you are in right mind space for the  “life changing affirmation” to actually be “life changing”
Also Danelle (she’s the long haired cartoon person in my picture and a good friend, we used to write a blog and a column for the paper together and that pic, featuring me in all my pouty-faced Afro glory went with our articles) has a way of putting things that make you “Get it”
Any who I like the phrase and will be trying to remember it as I continue this often painful journey  🙂
PS. The cartoon was created by another amazing woman I know, Lana, who you can check out at NogSteedsLana 

“No1 lives your decisions except you, so no1 gets to make them except you”