2018, take two (because so far not so good)

I’ve decided to give 2018 another go.
It’s been a rough year, but onward and upward…

I like new year’s resolutions so why not – four months into the year – do a quick “ctrl, alt, del” and mentally start 2018 afresh.

In 2018 we have had practically all our big appliances give up on us, and apart from LG giving us the best washing machine ever  we have had to fork out for a TV and fridge and the oven is next. We have ended up with ridiculously long nails/screws  in our tyres (which cause holes in your wallet actually) we have also had to replace the windscreen and are currently weighing up our options with regards to the current damage we face.

An uninsured person rammed Rob off the road on Thursday and we have notable, first round at a demolition derby, kind of damage. Also my laptop needed fixing and I’m operating on a loaner phone because my brand new one is in the ocean  and the old one was hanging on by a thread and finally broke.

All of us have been sick recently , I’m still very chesty after a throat infection that felt like I had been eating whole cacti (also I’m a freelancer and no work means no pay, so there’s that). The car crash had Rob with,  what Dr suspects is, a mild concussion and we spent Friday in the hospital after Robs headache, dizziness and (pregnant woman meets baby with reflux level) vomiting spree. But with Aidan’s tummy flu the first half of the week I was pretty immune to barf.

Here in this dreaded 2018, it has come to my attention that we all need new pants, Aidan because he had a major growth spurt, Rob because he has lost so much weight with Herbalife and me cause I haven’t bought myself pants in such a long time they are all applying for early (or late) retirement.

Not a massive problem, go buy some pants girl… well you see how life has become a giant cash guzzling black hole? Well I have also lost two monthly writing gigs which I started to rely on,so here I sit browsing the “content creator wanted section” of the job ads and thinking F IT!!! I want a do over.

Unlike games like Monopoly, where you get money at the start, my restart doesn’t come with new money, just new hope and new conviction that I have been through too much to let this year’s series of unfortunate events get to me.

So I’ve devised a game plan. I’m going to go in guns blazing! Well sort of. I’ve decided to work on me, instead of trying to control the things I can not.

Recently I’ve just been wearing whatever when I go in to work three times a week (not helpful when you sit next to one of the most stylish people in the office). I hardly get out of my PJs on the days I work from home, I have chipped nails and if you see me with make-up , chances are that it’s “debris” of the makeup I wore the night before and couldn’t be fazed to wash off properly.

Starting this week I’m not miraculously going to turn into an InstaHottie. But you know, I’ll dress up a little, make some effort. Work from home at my actual desk. I have a list of things I need to get sorted at home and starting this week I will tackle that every Thursday evening/Friday morning.

Sort out craft supplies, sort out fabric collection, deal with things like an over flowing medicine cabinet, get started on sewing buttons and fixing zips on the box of clothes I have been meaning to look at since late 2016.

These might seem like such insignificant things but I know myself. When my depression and anxiety rears it’s ugly head  the first things to go are my personal appearance and my surroundings. I go from lunch in pretty glass jars to eating a pie over the sink so I don’t have to wash a plate and I don’t want that for me, my husband or my son.

I like who I have become over the years, I love facing new exciting challenges every week and living the dream I thought too insane to even hope for (working different jobs in the creative field and choosing my own projects). This is not about anyone but me.

It’s up and at’em Ella. DREAMS DON’T WORK UNLESS YOU DO.
Do you have tell tale signs when you are going off the path?

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