I’m not crazy, I’m just a little unwell

this pic from pubrecord.org is reading my mind!

ahhh the joys of being a woman, I was contemplating a breakfast of painkillers and chocolate this morning, but then I thought it would be redundant following my midnight snack of chocolate and painkillers last night. Then I was going to have a pizza, but changed my mind and opted to be healthier (actually the pizza place was still opening up) so I grabbed a croissant and orange juice and jelly beans and I might follow it with chocolate and painkillers.
The thing is; I suffer from pms actually my friends and family suffer from my pms. No, I don’t become bitchy and mean (husband might disagree) I just have realy bad cramps and become  ridiculously emotional, like I’d cry  because they don’t have my favourite flavour of doritos (with my dorito consumption, you’d think my favourite doritos would be an open one) anyway my point was I’m feeling crappy today, even worse than when I got home yesterday and a broken tap had turned my bathroom and guest room (actually a store room with a bed and a trampoline-nothing kinky its those exercisey things) into an indoor swimming pool and I had to deal with that before I could veg out in front of the tv, yes i feel crappier than that, but I have high hopes, wish me luck.

Black(berry) Monday

This cartoon from apunkaworld.com is a clear indication of the problem I face, lol

So this morning it occurs to me that I’m an addict, seriously I’m a blackberry addict and I need help!
 Not help with overcoming my addiction, nope, I need help getting my stupid middle button to work.
Ok it did not really only occur to me this morning, it happened somewhere between googling a recipe for supper while tweeting and updating my facebook status, Rob recons my phone has been booked off for stress. (He’s one to talk, he told me this through bbm while downloading music and reading articles online)

Seriously there are all these pictures I want to share, but because my blackberry won’t let me scroll to my pictures, I cant share them and I’m getting all anxsty because when I get a email, tweet, anything really I cant see what it is 🙁

I’ll try again later though because I’m not a quitter, unless its some sort of  exercise thing. then I gladly quit.
Anyway I have every intention of fixing my phone and sharing the pics, wish me luck!

But while I try some cellular vodoo I thought I’d cheer myself up because I don’t do blue Mondays, in fact I’d rather be depro every other day except Monday so I don’t fall prey to the hype 😉
here are three sites I love, great for turning a frown upside down.
 
FMyLife: Share your every day life unfortunate moments and other fail funny stories.
www.fmylife.com/

Not Always Right | Funny & Stupid Customer Quotes
www.notalwaysright.com/

MyLifeIsAverage is a place to share your everyday mediocrity. It is a place to post the mundane things in your life, and read about what makes life normal …
www.mylifeisaverage.com/

Mushy moment

I’m not the mushy kind of girl seriously my public displays of affection
are reserved for shoe sales and girls nights out.
I’m feeling rather mushy today though as I just found out it will be another 8/9 days before I hear the fate of the husband’s career and my future. Allow me to make sense:

The husband, Robin (@Rookiehero for the tweeters) is a trainee detective studying out of town, he used to be a soldier and then an industrial fireman so it’s safe to say he’s got the basic training down, lol.  If I think of Rob as a cop images of those partner cop movies come to mind with him playing the straight laced, by the books, always gets his man, kinda cop who gets annoyed by whoever Chris Tucker or Chris Rock plays.
Luckily, although he can be annoyingly shy (still love you babe) he is pretty laid back when it doesn’t come to work and is super funny, in a Chandler in Friends not a Jack Black kinda way.  Anyway he has been gone for a year now and next month he finally graduates and will be sent to goodness knows where.

When he enrolled he was told he would come back here now we are not too sure.  So chances are he will be sent to some god forsaken small town where my only involvement with the media will be typing up the church’s newsletter and I’ll actually have to be famous before I get to sit front row at any fashion week again.
So now we wait, HOLD thumbs guys, although I do have dreams of living in isolation on a whimsical small holding these dreams are for when I’m older and a world renowned novelist not 25 still trying to make ends meet.

The Husband

Me Moment

These are ten random facts about me…things that are odd, but make me me (10 out of a billion)
1. I snort when I laugh, some people find it annoying, some find it adorable I find it super embarrasing (and it adds to my likeness to Ugly Betty way to much), but trying to stop just makes it worse.
2. I always think my zip might be down seriously I do more fly checks than would be considered normal.
3. I talk to myself ALL THE TIME, its like I’m narrating the story of my life, sad aint it. (Might be why I’m so tired all the time, its like I’m living my life twice)
4. I act like I’m on a cooking show when I cook, an extension of number 3.
5. I often get sad and I can be moody as hell.
6. I love kids, but the idea of an actual human being squatting in you for nine  months freaks me out.
7. I’m deadly shy, like people looking at me makes me sick to my stomach.
8.  In contrast to 7, I like attention, but only when it’s positive so “Nice song Eleanor” beats “Eleanor your zip is down” hahaha
9. Afrikaans is actually my home language , but somewhere along the line I started to sound a bit too much like I was talking to a 5-year-old so I prefer English
10. I complain A LOT, but truth is I wouldn’t trade my life with anyone else’s 🙂

10 Random things l love today….

So I’m determined to see the non blue in this, Monday where I have flu, found out I gained even more weight(I speak about weight a lot for someone who is so over it,lol) and am slightly behind in my work.
People keep telling me to stop and smell the roses (I rather don’t sinus issues and all) I know they mean take time out to appreciate what you have so I thought about it and right now at this very minute, loved ones not included this is a list of things I’m thankful for right off the top of my head.

Here goes:

1. Chocolate cake brought to you by friends who just thought of you (thanx Thulani) even though she gave it to me and said she’d rather have me have the calories.

2. Shoes given to me by someone who understands how difficult it is to find size 3s (thanx Rochelle) thank goodness they did not fit you-just saying.

3. The untag button on fb when people tag you looking like someone inflated, electrocuted you and beat you up.

4. Instant oats – this is probably going to change I’m funny with breakfast food one moment I will offer my undying devotion to cheerios and tomorrow I’ll rather eat my mouse pad.

5. Good news: Some really great people got their dream house, so happy for them, I love it when people who deserve something good in their lives, gets it.

6. My blackberry mainly cause I update my blog from there and check twitter and fb and my emails, you know if it cooked and cleaned I’d marry it, but since it does not, I’ll keep the husband (love you baby)

7. Pay days – which it will be tomorrow and then it’ll go faster than “fat free” cake at a dieter’s meeting.

8. My own little nest to fly home too, ok so it’s more like a rather large garden cottage and I don’t fly as much as a board a train, but you get the gist.

9. My mom’s cooking because I can eat there when my cupboard starts to resemble that of Mrs Hubbard.

10. My calendar which shows that in only six weeks the husband is back home (out of town detective training) he has been away for a year and its about time.

A weighty issue

I have issues with my weight so yes I’m female.
Honestly I think they should have asked Caster “do you think your butt looks big in those shorts?” And if the answer was anything like “actually my thighs look chunky,” you would know in the words of Malema “He is a woman”.
With me being pretty short any weight gain or loss seems to be quite noticeable, seriously I went from super skinny (what my less diplomatic friends would call a lollipop head) to chubby and married looking (I know they didn’t mean like on Desperate Housewives because any time you have the maintenance guys at your office suggests you opt for stairs instead of the elevator you know you have a slight problem) now after starting to be more active I’m apparently “curvy and healthy looking” (pleasantly plump maybe) but with just 8kgs to my goal weight, I’m still not happy.
Think it proves like most girls I know, I’m never really happy with how I look. I’m hoping to change that because through my job I have met way too many people who have had to fight to stay alive, they taught me to live each day to the fullest because life is really short and unpredictable (I’d feel really stupid if I were to become really ill tomorrow and realise I didn’t enjoy yesterday because my arms looked chubby in some picture someone tagged me in (which they tend to-damn you Oprah arms) so this year’s challenge is to live healthy and happy, regardless of my size, so what if I have some junk in my trunk, – thanks to Kim Kardashian that’s actually quite hot right now.
(And in case someone sees me in gym and wants to call me a hypocrite, I’m not saying I don’t want to get in shape I just mean I’m going to be easier on myself and feel less guilty about finishing a whole cashew and coconut slab in one sitting-yum)