Category: mindgames

Do you believe in dreams?

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I took this picture this weekend,
It’s amazing what you can see when you just open your eyes
 
 
Do you believe in dreams?
 
I’ve been having loads of surreal dreams lately, like my late grandmother telling me everything is going to be ok and that Logan was in good hands, a dream where Robin and I were looking through a baby name book and found the name we want to give our future daughter (I didn’t remember ever hearing the name and upon waking up I googled the name and turns out it means ascend-at the time I was wondering what God wanted from me so I took that as a sign).
 
Then this past Friday evening,  the day before my friends funeral, I dreamt she came to “chat” she said she had just come from home, but all the sadness was upsetting her, she told me how she accepted what was coming and that she was at peace, it just saddened her that she never got the chance to be a wife and mother and that it really saddened her that she was causing the people she loved so much heartache, she also told me she hoped they knew how much she  loves them. The rest of the dream was a blur, but I woke up with such a sense of peace.
 
I dream A LOT! sometimes I remember everything in vivid detail other times only the emotion remains – you know those, where someone upsets you in the dream and you wake up and suddenly any little thing they do annoys you… And then there are occasion where I get the “gist” of the dream but not the whole picture, like last night when in a dream I adopted a little girl who it turns out came from a surrogate, that was very odd, but not as odd as the fact that for the other half of the dream I was married to a famous gay entertainer. (apparently dreaming of being with someone you would never be with in real life signifies your desire to obtain one of their personality traits)
 
I love reading up about dreams, when I was little my gran (a big believer in the power of dreams) asked me to write down my dreams because she believed my dreams offered great insight. I always just figured if anyone over-thought every little thing like I did (do) it made sense for my emotions and thoughts to “come to life” through dreams.
 
I’m not 100% sure if I believe in “dreams” but I like them none the less, I like being on the receiving end of subtle messages from the universe as these “devine hugs” often come at the moment I need it most.
 
Has a dream ever had a significant meaning to you…

Good Morning, well not good per say, but morning anyway

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info.gov.za
Had the most eventful morning, woke up quarter past YOU NEED TO BE AT TRAIN STATION when my mom called to ask if I’m not going in today, been off sick for two days.
I rushed around to get ready, but still needed to take a taxi, no not a cab/town car a 16 people tightly squeezed together with no ventilation taxi.
I don’t usually mind but the taxi  was bouncing all over the place making me wish I had on a sports bra, I swear the driver thought he was playing a video game and each pothole was 500 points.
The guy next to me thought my typing on my phone was a spectator sport and the lady on my other side kept grabbing my thigh when we went over a pothole AWKWARD.
Then the taxi ended up going NOT where I had planned. CRAP I’m in the wrong TAXI!!!!!!!!! luckily the driver was just happening to go my way in the end… not a good way to start your morning
But now I’m at work and things are getting better *rolling eyes*

so damn anxsty

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from mavenity.org
This is sooo how I feel

I’m on edge, I’ve been on edge for two days now, For two days now I have had no idea why I’m on edge.
I missed my meds for a day, but don’t think I’m quite loony enough to have one day off mild anti depressants throw me off the deep end like this.
I think it’s the when to have a baby when to buy a house, why aren’t you further in your career, what deal with your licence crap that has been rolling around in my head. I go between feeling wayyyy to young for stuff to feeling wayyy to old for stuff, I think it’s that quarter life crisis people are always talking about.
On the one hand I’m all:
– I must still travel the world
– I need more shoes
– I want to attend fancy events
– I want to grow my career
– I want my freedom
Then I think
– Hey we need to invest in a house
– We getting to that parenting age now
– We have to get rid of student loans and so on
– I need to get more sensible shoes (ja right)
Then I’m back to
– But we still so young
– I haven’t done half of what I planned on doing
– there is nothing wrong with renting for now
Then it’s
– actually we not that young
– I am feeling a little broody
– You need to save for the future

AND IT GOES ON AND ON

Sometimes I wish my brain would just shut up, lol

Why does this Thursday feel so Mondayish?

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So this morning I wake up late, o flip no! I hear rob struggling with his car outside (a bad sign as he is supposed to leave more than a hour before I do). I did the good wife thing, shouting out of the window, “whats wrong? need help?” even if I’m about as much help with car problems as a chainsaw is with origami. Naturally he says no (he is currently freaking out, add not being a morning person to being late with car problems and it’s a ugly combo: sorry babe its true).
I make my way to the bathroom, need to catch a train soon (realise Rob must still pack some things in the car – we staying over in “the city” for a couple of days because apart from working here we have functions every night for the next three days and driving in from “town” is an expensive schlep – I decide not to add to Rob’s stress by explaining to him “nicely” that he should have finished packing yesterday like I politely asked him to do. ahhhh MEN!)
Need to wash my hair first… Here is the thing: I have a hair stylist appointment today (also doing brows and nails, need to look good for functions I shall be attending) but I hate going to the salon looking too much in a state and I currently have enough hair products in my hair to tame the locks of about 15 gypsies. I know I’ll get my hair washed at salon, but have this thing about not showing up looking too gross(I already have issues with strangers touching me, don’t want them judging me as they do it), I recon it comes when I was younger and had hair all the way down to my lower back and the hair was sooooo much that stylists would flip a coin to see who would get the punishment that is my hair.
Anyways I wash hair in shower(it’s clean but still looks crap, prob looks crapper cos my hair does not like to be clean) get dressed and realise Rob is still fiddling with the car.
He was changing batteries (so my car is currently without a power source) and I glance at the clock wondering how I managed to get my hair washed (gunk rinsed off) and into a half decent outfit in so little time and why Rob is still here. (I’m having a fat day and changed outfits enough times to have clothes covering most of our bedroom floor, the closer to summer we getting the tighter my clothes are getting, it’s not one of my proudest moments, but winter makes me eat like it’s the day before starting fat camp. I have even heard myself say, “ooh I don’t actually like this *chew chew* def not my thing*chew chew* oh look it’s all done”) Anyway Rob gets car fixed and we bundle the unpacked stuff into the car and drive off on a hope and a prayer. I decide to just drive in with him, (no use taking the train now) and just before he drops me at work(mentally getting ready to face the music at the office) he realises he forgot the tickets for tonight’s event at home so will at some point have to go all the way back to our home to get it…
— In honour of not upsetting the hubby on what is clearly already a crap day I shall reserve my told you so’s about packing the night before even if I did “inform him thusly” he he

…. GOTTA LOVE MARRIED LIFE

HAVE A GREAT DAY ALL

Maybe Baby

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toonpool.com

So apparently I’m broody, it’s the weirdest thing, I’ve always put off the idea of having kids because:

1. Carrying some1 in your stomach is weird.
2. Babies poop and cry.
3. I know how babies are born “the horror”
4. Accessories are sold separately and boy oh boy do they need accessories.
5. I value sleep
6. I’m still a kid myself (age and being married aside)
-I’d carry on but don’t want to sound like a grinch

But lately having a baby doesn’t fill me with a sense of dread and I think waiting to be at least 30 is no longer on the cards because.

1. I find the thought of carrying a person around in your belly slightly less odd.
2. When people show me pics of kids I no longer politely smile while secretly thinking (seen 1 baby seen them all) I actually go googoo gaagaa over ppls pics.
3. I think baby clothes are too cute for words and baby shoes and baby everything.
4. I really miss my nieces when I haven’t seen them for a while, like really miss them.
5. I was visiting a home for abandoned babies the other day and almost stole one.
6. I feel a tinge of jealousy when I hear some1 I know is pregnant.
— there has been more signs, but I’ll keep those to myself in fear of people thinking their kids are no longer safe around me.

(I’m not saying I’m wanting to get knocked up this afternoon, just that I think my biological clock has started tick tock ticking.)

one of those days

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so far I’v managed to oversleep, use body lotion as shower gel, forget my lunch at home and lock myself out of the online tax site then have nothing but a slim slab and doritos for breakfast before I’m off to a day of non-stop meetings, yeah me! but Im actually in a brilliant mood!!!!!

HAPPY ALMOST FRIDAY EVERY1′