Category: me moment

poor friend, broke friend, happy friend

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I’ve had a few lets call it “financial disappointments” lately, be it people that don’t pay me for services rendered or contracts that fall through , the last few months have not been “party over her” at all.
I have to say I REALLY DON’T LIKE being the poor friend, you know the one who can never make coffee dates or spa appointments.
The smallest get together has to be scheduled two paychecks in advance and sometimes I have to take on extra work to make it work.
IT SUCKS!
Yesterday I had another disappointment, but I decided to decline the invitation to my own pity party this time around.
My mom told me the other day, you’re broke you’re not poor, that’s a big difference.
And she’s right!
 I don’t have money for what I deem luxuries but my bills are paid and  I can make a plan for other things. I have parents and inlaws that are more than willing to chip in if push really comes to shove and I have a bunch of things other people deem luxuries.
So what if I don’t always have petrol money – we have two cars and with way over 50% of the country not having access to personal vehicles, that is a big blessing.
So what if we don’t have  gourmet food in our cupboards… we never go to bed hungry and that is amazing
So what if we can’t go to the movies at the drop of a hat…we have uncapped Wi-Fi and DSTV , which makes up for that and then some
So what if we can’t go on luxurious trips, we have made our home rather comfortable and that is something I am very thankful for

–          I’m very blessed because Aidan is spoilt by friends and family, I help out a local spa so I get to be made pretty every so often and I get paid to do things I love; design and crafting. I’m really fortunate and think it’s time I stop looking at what is outside my basket and start focusing on what is inside : Amazing friends and family, my boys oh and Wi-Fi J

Burn out in January? Really!?

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I’m not sure why, but I have not arrived in the new year yet.
Well I’m here but so tired and close to climbing under the table and rocking back and forth that I might as well have stayed in 2015
I think the problem is escalated by the fact that Rob (the husband person) is not in 2016 either.

Reasons I can’t make the transition:

–   We worked right through the holidays so there was no restart button pushed

–    We didn’t get the year end bonus thing so there was no year end splurge, gift to self or fancy trip to make you feel like…aaahhhh reward for a year’s hard work

–     The cleaning lady is still on leave and even though we have miraculously kept the house tidy, the extra cleaning during the December period has added to exhaustion

–     Washing has piled up, which is likely to happen when you take on extra shifts to make ends meet and use the little time you have at home to pass out/watch your son play/both. The piled up washing makes you feel like your house is never actually clean also totally running out of things to wear.

–    Going into a new year with hospitalised child doesn’t exactly make you feel amped and ready for a new year

–   Tight finances and people not paying me for orders means Oh!Boy has not officially “started” for the new year

–  Struggling with health issues (mostly the most uncomfortable eyes ever) but having to wait for Drs appointment at the end of the week

– Struggling with blog inspiration and blogging guilt

–  Wanting to start some sort of health and fitness program but time and money are not on my side

Basically everything is in limbo… nothing can just get a move on already!
It all makes me very lazy to do anything but watch stand up comedy on Netflix while half heartedly catching up on the online classes I’ve missed.

I want to have a get up and go but no such luck!

I am just so tired all the time! Is it the heat? (It’s stupid hot by the way) The messy house? (Come back cleaning lady, Aidan is at school again…it’s better now) The financial tightrope (Trying to remember I chose this, I chose to spend this year and last working extra hard and putting all extra money into debts so our dream of a house can come closer) Is it my health (why are my eyes so sore darn it? Also is this a medical or an optometry problem?)
I seriously need a restart button right about now!

How did you restart? Any advice on dealing with burn out when most people haven’t even lit the candle yet?

The truth behind my #2015bestnine

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I did a looking back post yesterday 🙂 and then noticed Instagram was doing some looking back of its own with the #2015bestnine posts, basically showing your most popular pics for the year – You can find yours here by the way – I checked out mine and decided to share the stories behind my #bestnine so here goes

insta

I took this to show off my purple hair and new haircut. I have
grown to dislike that haircut (scissor remorse is real) and would
have liked more purple, less red, BUT I like the curl on this

All the selfies on my instagram page are to show off my hair
I am doing the natural hair thing and get pretty chuffed with myself
when I get it right. This is one of my first twist outs 🙂
it lasted like two hours – I have since got better

Another hair selfie, this was just a wash and go, also I look angry
I’m not angry, I just wanted a pic of my hair but didn’t have a
front facing camera… hahahaha

I want to add more products to the Oh!BoyKids range so tried
my hand at a large floor pillow and LOVED the results 🙂
Aidan didn’t want to pose for me but he is never too lazy to read so
I tricked him into “reading” and I snapped pic

The natural hair journey calls for quick thinking on bad hair days
This is one of the most daring head wraps I have ever tried, ever
The pictures are taken in a fast food place, because I have no shame
(Actually it was raining and we were basically only people there – also, no shame)

On Aidan’s second birthday I looked back on the amazing journey he has been through
I can still remember them telling me he needs to stay in NICU (where his brother died)
It was one of the scariest moments of my life and looking at him now you would never believe that

I love this Father’s day pic, I made these tops for Aidan and Robin and they loved it
There is something so adorable when it comes to the love these two have for each other
Rob hates being photographed though so all his pics on my instagram look like he is being all
Pensive and looking into the distance, truth is; I have to steal pics

This picture is hideous, hahahahaha… Why did you people like it up so much? huh huh
We had a blast though, a dirty, exhausting, blast

 

This is a rare sighting of me with my hair blow dried!!!
The real point of the pic was to show off my false lashes though
I even have lipgloss on… One day I shall be a real girl I promise, hahaha
My cousin took this when we took kids for dessert at Spur
I’m having tea… reminds me of that saying about healthy food at fast food places being like hugs from hookers …. you know you know
Thanks so much for looking back with me, Please check out my INSTAGRAM account here, That is where my quick tips, hair pics and daily blog reminders go

My crazy year in review

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This year has been insane, sometimes I can’t believe that everything that happened fit into just one year, other times I can’t believe it’s been a year already… these are my highlights (or what I can remember in the middle of summer – the sun is known to negatively affect my mental faculties…SO MUCH HOT)
 
 
 
January – I went from doing layout for the local newspaper to starting a job as a reporter and loved it. I even got front page stories and was on the third page practically every day (a big deal for a features writer)
 
February – Although I loved my job I was drawn back into depression and anxiety ( I didn’t even realise what it was at first. I had dealt with it pretty well even through losing Logan, but suddenly it was overwhelming again) My Anxiety got so bad I couldn’t sleep
 
March – I turned 30… Omw how even…The anxiety never went away… But I did suddenly find myself toying with the idea of becoming a work from home mom and then I resigned WHAAAT. Oh and Aidan got two cousins, Caleb and Cruze who he loves to death now
 
April – Aidan turned 2 (his party was a flop) and I started my new life
 
May – I started out on my own, freelance writing and launching Oh!Boy kids and starting a gifting business with a friend
 
June – I bought my own domains and launched my online store also started a short course in online digital marketing
 
July – the hustle was real, freelancing and running my business. I was contacted to lecture in communications and was learning the finer details of sewing. WAHMING was/is harder than I thought.
 
August – I stepped away from lecturing and went back to layout when I received an offer I couldn’t refuse… three days doing layout which would cover my main expenses while I build my business and blog the other days 🙂 I also found myself trying to find myself
 
September – the juggle started; blogging, working and so much sewing
 
October – started seeing someone for my anxiety and seeing some improvement
 
November – feeling blessed yet bothered. Finances not where I want it but Oh!Boy gaining momentum and I can even employ someone to help
 
December –  overwhelmed by Christmas orders but heart so full of joy knowing that the things I made are being opened around SA this Christmas – say whaaaat?!?!
 
Going into Jan : I don’t think I was quite prepared for either the financial strain or the mental benefit and extra time with Aidan that my career change would bring.  I did really well in my last short course… distinction baby!!! and signed up for a short course in graphic design, which I start on Monday – these courses are all for self empowerment and I love it. I hope to grow my business in the new year and continue with you guys on the blog because through it all my one constant (not including Rob) has been this blog 🙂
 
What was biggest life change for you in 2015?
 
 

Activating survival mode

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I actually feel quite guilty admitting how overwhelmed I’m feeling seeing as how the world is actually pretty much in tragic conflict.
Since my family is safe and none of my loved ones are living as refugees I should be feeling pretty blessed but I’m just feeling tired.

You see, Rob was admitted to hospital yesterday. The test results have revealed a severe bee allergy (OMW I cant lose my husband like that boy died in the movie My Girl that movie made me so mad/sad, why did no one warn me he was going to die…I digress) Rob is not at death’s door yet, he is just covered in welts and is extremely uncomfortable and in a lot of pain and breathing is tough. Also I miss him as he is staying for at least one more night.

A funny thing happens after years of marriage (almost 7 years now) you become unconsciously reliant on each other, even if a large part of you marriage was spent apart (when he was at police college).

 It becomes deadly obvious when your routine is thrown out of wack.  We do things pretty effortlessly; I pack a bag, he gets Aidy ready, he straps him in, I lock the doors. He does supper, Aidy and I pick up supplies at the shop. I do bath time he does bed time…

Even though he goes away with work the sudden leaving is quite different. We do things pretty independently but it’s usually with the other in mind… He does game night with Aidy so I can play squash and I do crafts when he jogs. After just one day I realise I don’t have him to wake me as he heads off to the early train, the water in the  kettle is not boiling when I get to the kitchen and I didn’t have to prepare an extra lunch last night.

Last night he was not in the kitchen whipping up something and I didn’t get a message from him and Aidan to bring home milk and a lollies, I’m still tired from a HECTIC WEEKEND and have a bunch of orders to complete and products to review but without Rob that’s going to be tough (he keeps overly helpful – I cut it for you mommy – hands busy)

Thank God for amazing friends though; Last night two of our closest friends unexpectedly brought me supper and snacks for Rob and took Aidan out so I could make visiting hours despite missing the train.

I have extra shifts this week and am still promoting both business because I could do with the money…

I know things are going to be okay but joh! When your tired is tired you have to activate survival mode *yawn*

Thank Goodness for Monday

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I had a doozy of a weekend (and Monday morning if you count being dressed for the rain while the sun beats down on me as I wait for the train which is running ridiculously  late).

– I’m glad it’s Monday because it means the cleaning lady comes 🙂
On crazy busy weekends I’m not the most homemakerish  (when am I ever) Aidan takes advantage of me being distracted by work by being extra messy. This is why the floor of his room looks like the war scene in the lego  movie. The rest of the house is not far behind, he particularly loves to fill his play shopping trolley with various items in our house and drive them around. I stumped my toe on a tea canister this morning – need I say more.
We have been doing very well with the clean up after play thing but on crazy busy weekends the house usually takes the brunt of the attack.

– I’m glad it’s Monday because all doctors and things are open.
It looks like Rob is allergic to bees, here we were faffing over Aidan who got his first sting when Rob started breaking out… He went to emergency room and meds meant he couldn’t keep his eyes open for most of the weekend. Last night we thought he was finally better but during the night he became so swollen he is practically unrecognisable…so back to the Dr and thankfully this time without the weekend pay in.
Meanwhile we are running a bee holiday resort in our jacaranda tree and Aidan has been stung three times in two days … so not good.

– I’m glad it’s Monday because I finished an order list which looked impossible and now I get to give it over to customers 🙂 I had a lot to get done so I was expecting a bumper weekend. I didn’t expect to have emergency dental work done and then lose a whole day from feeling sick and drowzy due to to the injection though (my body never reacts well to that). I didn’t account for the heat getting to Aidan and him wanting mommy the whole time. Then when I pull an all nighter I am woken up by a husband who needed to be rushed to the hospital…So I was very glad (pleasantly surprised even) to see packages ready for delivery this morning.

-I’m glad it’s Monday because Aidan goes to school and can burn off some energy. He was so hyper this weekend I can’t even explain it…I can say that at some point someone came to the house looking for me. He heard his dad say I was in the shower so Aidan thought he would be nice and open the bathroom door to prove to them “mommy is in the shower” not sure who was more embarrased me or them!  (Me it was me).
At some point I heard him use the full phrase OMG (repeating after TV in the next room) and when I told him it was not nice to say he asked if it was a bad word like Sh!t. I HAVE NO WORDS. Oh he was playing with Caleb when I noticed unhappiness. I asked him why Caleb was crying and reminded him to be gentle he then responded that he was gentle and only hit Caleb softly as they were playing boxing. NO WORDS

– I’m glad it’s Monday as I can restart the healthy eating thing; because somewhere between sewing my butt off (if only that was literal) running after a hyper kid who has too many questions (who is Santa’s family and why Christmas trees not Christmas flowers) and looking after a stubborn – I can do everything despite being too swollen to bend a finger – husband, I decides junk food was a good breakfast option and things went downhill from there.

– I’m glad it’s Monday because it means we have made it through a busy weekend unscathed.
HAVE A GOOD MONDAY ALL 🙂 do share your favourite part of starting a new week