I haven’t done a fan post on a favourite show in a while….so here goes, I LOVE PSYCH for those of you who don’t know it’s basically about this silly genius, SHAWN, who along with his straight-laced but equally funny best friend, Gus, start a psychic detective agency and work with the police. Shawn’s father Henry and detective Lassister add some great comedy . . . here are some of my favourite quotes:

Carlton Lassiter: I need to get something off my chest.
Shawn Spencer: Is it your shirt? Please say no.

……………

Burton ‘Gus’ Guster: Brazilian airport codes. How do you know that?
Shawn Spencer: I lived in an airport for a month, Gus.
Burton ‘Gus’ Guster: That was Tom Hanks in The Terminal.
Shawn Spencer: Same difference.

………….

Burton ‘Gus’ Guster: I can’t spend the night in the museum. I don’t have my toothbrush, I don’t have my multi-vitamins, and oh yeah, I don’t want my soul suffering eternal damnation for disrupting the sleep of an Egyptian canal digger.

……….

Burton ‘Gus’ Guster: Shawn? What the heck are you doing here?
Shawn Spencer: I should ask you the same question.
Burton ‘Gus’ Guster: I work here!
Shawn Spencer: I should ask you a different question.

……..

Shawn Spencer: The important thing is that you got your cover story.
Reporter: Actually, it’s page 64.
Shawn Spencer: It really depends on how you fold it, doesn’t it?

……………..

Shawn Spencer: Gus, don’t be a myopic chihuahua. I have a foolproof plan that solves the case and gives the Chief all the credit.
Burton ‘Gus’ Guster: What is it?
Shawn Spencer: Actually, all I have is the phrase “I have a foolproof plan.” Beyond that, I’m wide open.

…………………..

Shawn Spencer: Life insurance policy?
Burton ‘Gus’ Guster: It doesn’t make any sense.
Shawn Spencer: Tell me about it… Dude, seriously, tell me about it. I have no idea what this means.
Burton ‘Gus’ Guster: You never could understand legalese.
Shawn Spencer: Oh, really? Remind me who it was who set up our Psych 401ks?
Burton ‘Gus’ Guster: Oh, you mean our 601ks? Because India doesn’t have 401ks.
Shawn Spencer: It’s a growth economy, Gus. We’ve already made like, 500 rupee.
Burton ‘Gus’ Guster: That’s thirteen dollars.

……………….

Henry Spencer: [watching Shawn jump up and down because he just figured out the case] Shawn, don’t you *dare* learn a wrong lesson while I’m trying to teach you a right lesson!

……………….

Shawn Spencer: How can you tell that someone’s a compulsive liar? I mean, assuming that their pants aren’t on fire.

……………..

Juliet O’Hara: Detective Lassiter is literally on fire today.
Shawn Spencer: “Literally on fire” as in Michael Jackson in the Pepsi commercial, or as in a misuse of the word “literally?”

…………………

Shawn Spencer: I can’t believe this. You lifted your look right off this mannequin!
Burton ‘Gus’ Guster: On the contrary, Shawn. Clearly, someone is stealing my look.
Shawn Spencer: Right… I did see Tommy Hilfiger creeping from bush to bush sketching you.

…………….

Burton ‘Gus’ Guster: What part of “stay put” is confusing to you?
Shawn Spencer: The “put” part. I wasn’t “put” in the first place, Gus. The whole expression is a complete disaster.

………….

Gus : I’m a man of untold mystery. That’s why my friends call me “G.”
Shawn : Ha. That’s funny. I thought they called you “Big-Head Burton.”
Gus : Don’t ever say that name, Shawn. Besides, I know it was you who started that.
Shawn : I’m sorry, Gus; I have a knack for alliteration. I’m a slave to it. Besides, how many words start with a B?
Gus : About a thousand! You could have used, “bold, black, beautiful…”
Shawn : Dude, who would have called you “Black Burton”?

………………

Gus’s Secretary : There’s a “Lieutenant Crunch” here to see you sir.
Gus: “Lieutenant Crunch”?
Shawn: Actually I’ve been promoted. It’s “Caption Crunch” now.

…………….

Shawn : Goooodmorning detectives. Collecting donations for the Policemen’s Ball?
Lassiter : We don’t have “Balls.”
Shawn : I honestly have no response to that.

………….

Shawn : “Luckily, your phone has GPS.”
Gus: “You tracked me?!”
Shawn: “Yes, I did, with a little help from my friends at your wireless service provider. By the way, they might be calling; they think you’re a fugitive from justice. Run with it.”

My current TV obsession is 2BrokeGirls, LOVE IT LOVE IT
Not only because the people playing Max and Caroline, Kat Dennings and Beth Behrs are super cute (see below) But because the show is so funny! funny! inappropriate and super funny! (see below’er)

QUOTES FROM SEASON 1

Max: Oh my God, you have a shoe rotisserie!
Caroline: I designed it. I call it my Ferris Heels.
Max: I’d judge you if that wasn’t exactly what I’d call it if I had one.

Caroline: Sushi! I hope you like crabroll.
Max: I never had sushi.
Caroline: That doesn’t even make sense.

Max: But the name sucks a big one! Homemade? It sounds like home-schooled. Like we’re churning out cupcakes that aren’t comfortable around other people.

Caroline: I smiled, and bent over backwards giving them service all for a dollar and forty-seven cents? This makes me the lowest paid hooker in New York.

Caroline: What’s the interest rate on your credit card?
Max: Dunno. My interest rate in this conversation is zero.

Max: So what, is she still your girlfriend?
Johnny: Max it’s complicated.
Max: What are we on Facebook?

Han: Max, why did you kick out the hipsters?
Max: Because I cannot be in the background of another Instagram photo!

Oleg: Fifty dollars for a hamburger? For that much money, it should eat me first.

Max: I kissed Johnny
Caroline: What?! When?
Max: He came by the apartment right after you left.
Caroline: I was only gone twenty minutes. What did you do, shine a bat symbol on your vagina?

Caroline: I also learned she’s a dancer, her lip gloss is from Kiehl’s, and she’s school chums with Adele.
Max: Not THE Adele! Damn, could she be any cooler? I want her to be my girlfriend. I wouldn’t break up with her for me.

Max: You’re not my type anyway! You’re a bartender who’s close to liquor all night, and you’re not an alcoholic. So, clearly, you don’t know how to seize an opportunity.

Sophie: Stop, this is not dental school interview, this is scrubbing toilets, in or out?
Caroline: We’re in, all the way.
Max: In my experience, when someone has to tell you they’re all the way in, you better hope their tongue works.

Caroline: Earl, does she look like a hooker.
Earl: I don’t like to judge a book by its cover. But if she was a book, she would be the kind that other books paid for sex.

Detective: He lived alone, been dead two weeks
Max: Cats eat his face?
Caroline: Max! Can you not be so dark?
Max: Kittens eat his face?

Max: It’ll be fun. Just think of it as a middle school sleepover.
Caroline: With Drugs
Max: Yeah, a middle school sleepover.

Earl: Why Johnny, if it isn’t the famous street artist.
Johnny: I’m hardly famous.
Earl: I know, my comment was laced with sarcasm.

Confession time: I watch Disney Channel, hehe well not all the programs, some of them make me want to move to a small town where they have never even heard of television just to get away, but some like Wizards of Waverly Place are really cool. It’s about these three young wizards (Justin, Alex and Max) who have to compete because only one of them get to keep their powers when they grow up. Their dad Jerry is an ex wizard and mom Theresa just an ordinary human. They are actually just a normal family, even if they are all attractive, witty and can do magic. Here are some quotes from the show:

Alex Russo: [while at wizard school, Justin is wearing a robe and
  glasses] You remind me of someone... Barry something, Jerry
  something, [Larry] something; oh forget it.

.........

Theresa Russo: [to Justin] Im so sorry, I forgot you!
Jerry Russo: How can a mother forget her own son?
Theresa Russo: What about you?
Jerry Russo: What? Im a dad. Before my coffee in the morning, Im
  lucky if remember one of these kids.
.......
Jerry Russo: [trying to teach spells] Okay, you havent eaten for
  days and youre starving and in desperate need of a sandwich. What
  do you do?
Alex Russo: I go down to the sandwich shop and ask Mom to make me a
  sandwich.
Jerry Russo: Yes, but Moms not there.
Justin Russo: Wheres Mom?
Jerry Russo: She left the country.
Justin Russo: Left the country! Why? Is she okay?
Jerry Russo: Shes fine!
Alex Russo: Well if shes fine I dont see why she couldnt make me a
  sandwich.

The Husband is off sick, shame I feel both sorry for him cause he looks rather ill and jealous of him cos he is at home and can watch all the cartoons he wants, I’d watch The Penguins of Madagascar, those guys crack me up, heres why:

Skipper, Kowalski, Rico and Private seem just like four cute penguins living in the Central Park Zoo but they are actually an elite strike force with unmatched commando skills & secret headquarters

Skipper: I don’t like it. What do you make of it, Kowalski?
Kowalski: I’m not sure, Skipper. It could be anything.
Skipper: Oh really? Could it be Alaska?
Kowalski: Nooo… Its probably not A…
Skipper: Are you saying that Alaska might be stuck upside down to the clock tower of my zoo?
Kowalski: I guess…
Skipper: Because I think people would notice if the entire state of Alaska just packed up and moved to the zoo.
Kowalski: Alright! Maybe it couldn’t be anything!
Rico: Wuuh.
Skipper: I’m sorry, boys. I sometimes resort to sarcasm when facing the unknown.
Kowalski: No duh.

Hornet: Hey! Who pokes things? You like poke? I sting your face!
Kowalski: It appears to be a hornet’s nest, Skipper.
Hornet: Ooh, you vin prize! You know vat prize is? I sting your face!
Skipper: Easy, stingtail. We don’t want any trouble. We’re just questioning your choice of locale.
Hornet: I have question for you. Knock knock.
Skipper: Who’s there?
Hornet: I sting your face!

Skipper: Ah, King Julien. I believe I owe you some words.
Kowalski: In random order, they are: told, I, so, you.
Skipper: Allow me to unscramble.

Private: I don’t think he’s buying it, Skipper.
Skipper: Enough with the smoke and mirrors! It’s time we started acting like penguins!
Private: But all we know is the smile-and-wave routine. What else do penguins do?
Skipper: I don’t have the faintest.

Kowalski: Once you escape to the sewer, find an aligator named Roger and give him this secret code phrase: “Help me, oh, help me. Please, please help me. For the sweet love of mother mercy, please help me escape the animal control agent that’s chasing me.” He’ll know what it means.

Skipper: Kowalski, options.
Kowalski: A strategic retreat, Skipper?
Skipper: Explain.
Kowalski: It’s like running away but manlier.
Skipper: Execute.

King Julien: Why are you eyeing my delicious thighs and robust rump? Wait. You are not going to ransom me. You are going to eat me! Eat me if you must, but I will give you terrible indigestion, and gas unlike any ever!

The Guys:  Richard Hammond, Jeremy Clarkson and James May

Apparently I like Top Gear…. Very odd since I usually only like cartoons,  shows about food and The Big Bang Theory. Robin is loving my sudden interest in what I usually call catnip for boys and we watched four episodes this weekend not counting a rerun. So because I could’nt understand what was pulling me towards the show (despite them talking about cars in British accents and me not caring about cars and not having any opinion on British accents) I googled some info on it and realised, the thing that has me hooked is that they are just so darn funny!!, I could not care less which car beat which doing what where, but the commentary is priceless like:

— [on the Renault Vel Satis]
Jeremy: It’s capable of going fast in the same way that Queen Victoria was capable of running. It just doesn’t seem to like it very much.

— [Presenting the new BMW Z4]
Richard: You can stick a BMW badge on a dead cat – and people would still buy it.

— Jeremy: While we’re on the subject of parking, I, um… you know where we nail this program together, it’s in the middle of London, okay, there’s a multi-storey car park next door, two hours: £9 in there. So if you’re two hours and five minutes, eighteen quid. Well, I went into Oxford last weekend, parked on double-yellow lines, right outside where I wanted to be, okay? Took the children out for lunch, went to see James Bond, got back five hours later… twenty quid parking ticket. That’s pretty reasonable!

—[Still on the Audi TT gearbox]
Richard: Is it an automatic or a manual?
Jeremy: It’s witchcraft! That’s what it is.

—[On the MG SV.]
Jeremy: If Oliver Reed and Russell Crowe made mad man-love on the set of Gladiator in an angry brawl, this would be the result.

— Jason: …and the new Viper, which is the American equivalent of a sports car…
Jeremy: Yeah…
Jason: …in the same way, I guess, that George Bush is the equivalent of a President.

— [On his Bentley T2]
James: I’ve got furniture that handles better than this thing!

— [on the Smart Roadster‘s transmission]
Jeremy: The thing is, it’s a gearbox, okay? It has one job to do! One job! Pull the lever… “Am I a pencil? Am I a cauliflower? Am I a nuclear power sta— I’m a gearbox! Oh, heavens, I’m gonna swap some cogs around!”

—[discussing the Ferrari 360 Challenge Stradale]
Jeremy: I’m sorry, I’m sorry, everybody – have you driven this car?
Richard: I have, yes.
Jeremy: And what happened when you drove this car?
Richard: Well, I crashed it, technically.
Jeremy: Tell the nice ladies and gentlemen about what happened.
Richard: Well, I was going round a corner, and the next minute I went round lots and lots of corners very quickly. Span it several times.
James: Actually, this is why it’s called the F360, this model. Because you drive along and you go “FFF – !” and then you do a 360.

— [demonstrating the sense of equanimity to be found in the Jaguar XJR]
Jeremy: This is Radio 1. Now normally that’s like having a rusty screwdriver shoved into the side of your head. But I dunno, today I think it’s fine. I mean, listen to this chap, he wants to bitch-slap his ho. And why not? Good luck to you, fella.

— [on the Porsche 911 Turbo]
James: So you spun it, then.
Jeremy: I spun it slightly.
James: What do you mean “slightly”? How can you slightly spin? That’s like saying “I slightly fell off a ladder this morning.”

(for more quotes go here wikiquotes)