The Guys:  Richard Hammond, Jeremy Clarkson and James May

Apparently I like Top Gear…. Very odd since I usually only like cartoons,  shows about food and The Big Bang Theory. Robin is loving my sudden interest in what I usually call catnip for boys and we watched four episodes this weekend not counting a rerun. So because I could’nt understand what was pulling me towards the show (despite them talking about cars in British accents and me not caring about cars and not having any opinion on British accents) I googled some info on it and realised, the thing that has me hooked is that they are just so darn funny!!, I could not care less which car beat which doing what where, but the commentary is priceless like:

— [on the Renault Vel Satis]
Jeremy: It’s capable of going fast in the same way that Queen Victoria was capable of running. It just doesn’t seem to like it very much.

— [Presenting the new BMW Z4]
Richard: You can stick a BMW badge on a dead cat – and people would still buy it.

— Jeremy: While we’re on the subject of parking, I, um… you know where we nail this program together, it’s in the middle of London, okay, there’s a multi-storey car park next door, two hours: £9 in there. So if you’re two hours and five minutes, eighteen quid. Well, I went into Oxford last weekend, parked on double-yellow lines, right outside where I wanted to be, okay? Took the children out for lunch, went to see James Bond, got back five hours later… twenty quid parking ticket. That’s pretty reasonable!

—[Still on the Audi TT gearbox]
Richard: Is it an automatic or a manual?
Jeremy: It’s witchcraft! That’s what it is.

—[On the MG SV.]
Jeremy: If Oliver Reed and Russell Crowe made mad man-love on the set of Gladiator in an angry brawl, this would be the result.

— Jason: …and the new Viper, which is the American equivalent of a sports car…
Jeremy: Yeah…
Jason: …in the same way, I guess, that George Bush is the equivalent of a President.

— [On his Bentley T2]
James: I’ve got furniture that handles better than this thing!

— [on the Smart Roadster‘s transmission]
Jeremy: The thing is, it’s a gearbox, okay? It has one job to do! One job! Pull the lever… “Am I a pencil? Am I a cauliflower? Am I a nuclear power sta— I’m a gearbox! Oh, heavens, I’m gonna swap some cogs around!”

—[discussing the Ferrari 360 Challenge Stradale]
Jeremy: I’m sorry, I’m sorry, everybody – have you driven this car?
Richard: I have, yes.
Jeremy: And what happened when you drove this car?
Richard: Well, I crashed it, technically.
Jeremy: Tell the nice ladies and gentlemen about what happened.
Richard: Well, I was going round a corner, and the next minute I went round lots and lots of corners very quickly. Span it several times.
James: Actually, this is why it’s called the F360, this model. Because you drive along and you go “FFF – !” and then you do a 360.

— [demonstrating the sense of equanimity to be found in the Jaguar XJR]
Jeremy: This is Radio 1. Now normally that’s like having a rusty screwdriver shoved into the side of your head. But I dunno, today I think it’s fine. I mean, listen to this chap, he wants to bitch-slap his ho. And why not? Good luck to you, fella.

— [on the Porsche 911 Turbo]
James: So you spun it, then.
Jeremy: I spun it slightly.
James: What do you mean “slightly”? How can you slightly spin? That’s like saying “I slightly fell off a ladder this morning.”

(for more quotes go here wikiquotes)