I came across one of my old blog posts today, one where I was about 20 weeks and glowing with happiness, its kinda sad reading it knowing that Logan passed away, but at the same time I find my love for him has not diminished at all and I pray to share a similiar love with future children.
Can you love someone you have never met? No this is not a religious or a philosophical question and I don’t mean never met like if you were to meet someone online…I’m referring to my still in the making baby.
More and more I find my trepidation towards the whole being a mother thing being replaced with the type of excitement that starts small and builds up and builds up till it has nowhere to go, like when you try to stifle a laugh and it ends up coming out in a sort of snort and draws even more attention to you.
A calming joy that overcomes the most difficult moment or a happiness you just cant contain. That is the kind of love I’m experiencing, I could not be happier if I tried!!! my happiness comes in unexpected bursts, like when Logan (we think -scan was 80% sure- it’s a boy and have decided to name him Logan) kicks or wriggles around in me and it feels like I’m sharing this big secret with a much loved stranger or when I see other parents with their young children and I can’t wait for my own little bundle of joy, I just want to grab him out of my dreams and make him a reality.
Its a kind of love that has no reason or motivation, is this possible? I’m sure it is because that is how I feel, I’m twice my normal size, my clothes don’t fit, I can’t sleep and I have enough aches and pains to rival the most inventive hypochondriac , but behind it all I smile,I’m happy, I’m content and what makes my happiness grow ten fold is having someone who shares this love with me. I have a husband who dotes over me and just like me can hardly wait to start the next chapter of our lives…
A calming joy that overcomes the most difficult moment or a happiness you just cant contain. That is the kind of love I’m experiencing, I could not be happier if I tried!!! my happiness comes in unexpected bursts, like when Logan (we think -scan was 80% sure- it’s a boy and have decided to name him Logan) kicks or wriggles around in me and it feels like I’m sharing this big secret with a much loved stranger or when I see other parents with their young children and I can’t wait for my own little bundle of joy, I just want to grab him out of my dreams and make him a reality.
Its a kind of love that has no reason or motivation, is this possible? I’m sure it is because that is how I feel, I’m twice my normal size, my clothes don’t fit, I can’t sleep and I have enough aches and pains to rival the most inventive hypochondriac , but behind it all I smile,I’m happy, I’m content and what makes my happiness grow ten fold is having someone who shares this love with me. I have a husband who dotes over me and just like me can hardly wait to start the next chapter of our lives…
*picture from layoutsparks.com
Ths is deep n so inspirational 😉
It's so weird to feel like you have completely changed and then realise, fundamentaly you are the same.
Thanx for comment