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Why my son can play with whatever toy he wants

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So the other day a family member raised an eyebrow  and commented on Aidan playing with his cousin’s doll. They teased that I might have to buy him dolls soon *snicker snicker*  I thought about it and wondered, why not? well my own reason for not buying him dolls is because he has like 15 teddies and doesn’t need dolls, but I don’t see why he can’t play with one now and again.

I always thought a child plays to learn or to mirror adult behaviour, I mean isn’t that why toys are miniature versions of adult things? mini musical instruments, mini garden implements, mini stuff?



I see it like this… Little girls play with dolls and learn to be mommies – well in theory. So what if Aidan wants to be a dad one day? why can’t he cuddle and hug a teddy or a doll? he puts his teddies to sleep sometimes, or shares his bottle or feeds them his chips. I guess it is because he sees me do this with him, and he sees his dad do this with him… Robin is by no means a “sissy” (ex-soldier, ex-firefighter and all) and he manages to be a  great  dad. He is very hands on (like most of the dads I know)

He also happens to be a great cook – our house operates in reverse to many others, with dad cooking weekly meals and mom cooking on the weekend (unless dad has had a brain wave and simply MUST try something out)- cooking is Robs hobby and Aidan loves to pass him spices and watch him cook.
So why can’t I get Aidan a cooking set? why is that “frowned upon”

When I was pregnant and found out it was a boy I was kind of freaked out because “What do boys do?”
Do they colour? Do they blow bubbles? what do they do?

Girls can do whatever the heck they want, no one snickers when a girl plays with a car or a kicks a ball around (okay some do but they are all around strange, these people).
With boys you get loads of opinions, like when his gran bought him a shopping trolley full of food for his birthday, some people didn’t “get it” , but what is not to get? men also do shopping.
Aidan even owns a little broom because he sees my mom sweep and kept swiping hers.



I think kids should be able to play with whatever toy they want to, okay I’m not going to lie, if Aidan plays dress up I’d prefer him to be a pirate instead of a princess, a super hero instead of a housewife… But I don’t want to put limitations on him…I’m actually looking for a kitchen set for him, something that is not  too “pink and pretty” not because I have a problem with pink. I just prefer gender neutral toys, like I don’t understand why those ride on horses are brown for boys and pink for girls, not because I don’t like pink, BUT because horses aren’t pink…unicorns might be so maybe stick a horn on it then I’d feel better, hehehe

but my point is….Aidan likes to blow bubbles, write ,play with play dough, make smoothies with me and even insists on using my lip balm, he also loves getting really really dirty, he plays with rocks and sand and sticks and water and he is always vroom vrooming, anything that could be mistaken for a car, also no ball can remain “unkicked” in his vicinity.



Growing up my parents were very open minded, I have some great memories of building things with my dad, and my brother enjoyed preparing food for everyone. Most of our toys were pretty gender neutral-many of which my dad (an electrician) built for us. We had a playground with swings and jungle gym and a big metal drum we used to push each other around in and for pocket money he would let us help him unscrew/reconnect plugs and wires in his workshop.

 My mom played hop scotch with us and got on the jungle gym herself and we had a blast playing with edible play dough.
There was never a case of boy things and girl things…


That is what I want for Aidan, he is a boy who will one day be a  man and I’m hoping he will be a well rounded one who can cook and clean and even horror of horrors, put a baby to bed.




Lessons from motherhood

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Today I want to humbly apologise for any harsh judgements I might have made regarding unruly kids. Naturally  I would never voice my opinion out loud (my mother taught me better than that) but I won’t lie…I have looked at unruly kids in shops and restaurants and wondered why their mothers allowed that…*pause to laugh* ALLOW nogal! as if someone would allow their kid to embarrass them in a crowded shopping centre.
Being mother to a particularly busy one-year-old has taught me something very important…You can’t always control their behaviour, you can only control how you react towards the behaviour…My mom told me this about the “Mean Girls” at school and I think the concept translates nicely…
Your child WILL test you, he will insist on pushing the trolley in a crowded shop, scream to ride those R5 machines “one last time”  or grab your glasses off while you are trying to have a conversation with someone, the trick seems to be not to let them see you sweat.
My cousin simply walks away from her daughter when she decides to throw a tantrum, waits for her to finish and then calmly talks to her…Trying to reason with a toddler seems a little crazy, but it seems to work (for some kids not all…)
I’m well aware that asking Aidan why he insists on decanting his plate of chips onto his lap before eating makes me look like a loon, especially when his response is “chippy nom nom”  but I see it as opening the lines of communication.
Honestly I just want it to look like “I don’t condone such behaviour” when actually I’m just glad he is eating something…
Aidan is a handful…He can get out of practically any brand of feeding chair and end up on the table, he insists on walking over to other people’s tables and just standing their like a mini stalker and is only comfortable if he can take one shoe off and put the free foot next to his plate…
He is such a joy though and for now I can control him with a stern voice, a threatening look and some light bribery…The little free spirit teaches me so much and of all the things he has taught me humility is definitely pretty high on the list.

Little minds, Big ideas – TV and Kids

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I have never thought of myself as particularly prudish when it came to TV. Growing up I didn’t understand  why other kids weren’t allowed to watch Sabrina just because she was a teenage witch or how Power Rangers incited violence.
Personally I could always draw a line between reality and make believe so it was not likely that I would dress up in pink and try to defend my neighbourhood or ask for a black cat to help me with my magic tricks.
 I was never into soap operas (I’m still not) so my parents never told me to turn away during a kissing scene as I’ve seen other parents do (this would make most kids more curious actually-just saying) My parents never had to stop me from watching age inappropriate movies because I was a bit of a goody- two-shoes so wouldn’t watch anything I was not old enough for anyway and since I only like comedy movies  it was not like I was dying to see Nightmare on Elm Street, Chucky or even Die Hard for that matter.
Okay so what is my point?
I always thought that people gave TV too much credit, blaming it for children’s behaviour and I certainly never thought I’d be the type to mollycoddle my kids. But this past weekend with Aidan being sick I saw a different side of myself.  I brought some toys onto my bed and wanted to put on the TV to distract him from the pain and OMW was choosing something to watch that tough.
 At the risk of sounding like a 60’s housewife, ” Kids are just so impressionable!” and I never realised how much “adult themes” there were in the series I watch.
I’m not even into the vampirey, zombieish things, I watch Glee and Big Bang Theory for goodness sake. But yes there are bedroom scenes aplenty.
 Nothing hectic though, nothing like almost every movie I tried, so many cuss words and nudity and those are just the family rated ones…Watching things like that with my kid is almost as awkward as discovering that “interesting” sex scene in Good Luck Chuck with your parents (which I did, the joys).
Aidan has a collection of kiddies movies so I thought I would look into that, but in my already hypersensitive state, I realised that there is a lot of death and loss in these movies and a surprising amount of fighting. I settled on  Monsters Inc, at least no one died (Nemo, Bambi,Up,Frozen)
Aidan loved it, he roared with the monsters, tried to offer Boo his bottle when she cried and then shouted no no no at the screen when a fight broke out.
The no no no response startled me and I asked if the monsters were naughty for fighting to which he responded “Don’t fight”
I realised something there, You can’t protect your kids from the world, you can only equip them for it.
 I mean Tigger from Winnie the Pooh actually promotes jumping off things and he is in one of the “safest” kids shows. Jake from Jake and the Neverland Piratescarries a sword! Handy Manny plays with tools and Dora the Explorer wanders off by herself….
If I’m going to be overprotective I should just not let him watch TV ever (not that he has the attention span to watch more than 5 minutes now anyway) and also I think I could edit some nursery rhymes… I don’t think that Jack and Jill should fall down the hill and Georgie Porgie is highly inappropriate kissing girls and what not….
But in all seriousness he is growing up in the real world and will be exposed to lots of things in lots of ways… No it’s not about to be a free for all in the TV department I just think I want to be less neurotic about things…I have told Aidan countless times that it is wrong to fight I just  never realised that it had sunk in (as he loves to rough house)…but apparently he knows “Don’t fight” which makes me think that as long as  I explain things to him while we watch TV, things should be okay…. But seriously shouldn’t someone be supervising Dora, hehehe

Weaning Mommy

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I never saw myself as the breastfeeding type as I’m neither a Stepford wife or a hippie (In my mind those were the only types that breastfed their kids)…
The thought of someone drinking milk produced by my body just never appealed to me, it’s all rather weird and cow like I thought.
Why then am I so sad at the thought of giving it up?
We started the weaning process last week and I find myself feeling so sad about the whole thing.
Growing up I  don’t remember seeing people breastfeed much….I know my mom didn’t (Only recently discovered that this was a medical decision not a personal one) and to be honest I can’t even remember if my aunts did.
I remember making bottles for my cousins though and sneaking a spoon of dry formula for myself…it tasted yummy (Nan I think it was) as I clearly didn’t understand the financial implications of my “taste testing” – formula does not come cheap.
I also remember being sent to the pharmacy on the corner to buy teats, nothing fancy like we have now, shaped like a breast and with special vents, just a run of the mill teat that you had to poke a hole into yourself at the risk of messing it up and having to buy another one.
The only breastfeeding I clearly remember was that of the young unwed mothers living in my grandmothers street.
I remember overhearing gossiping old ladies remark that they had to wash nappies and breastfeed because they were not smart enough to wait to have jobs or get guys who could afford kimbies (disposable nappies) or formula —- this was before cloth nappies became the “in thing” again.
So I think in the back of my mind breast feeding was classed as a last option , a go-to because you couldn’t afford anything else.
That view clearly changed. Hearing the health benefits I decided to breastfeed with Logan already (taking the I’ll try my best, but if I can’t I won’t hate myself approach) and by the time Aidan was here I had picked up pumps, special blankets, a feeding chair and a bunch of tips from my already breastfeeding friends.
I had a rocky start, as I just didn’t seem to produce enough. Aidy was in the NICU and I was allowed to stay with the sole purpose of feeding him, so it became increasingly important to “get milk” because if I couldn’t feed him I’d be sent home.
I wanted to stay, so I pumped like crazy (almost being reduced to tears when another new mom requested a second bottle while I could barely pump a tablespoons worth) I drank home remedies and had him practice suckling, I even took meds.
Maybe I was haunted by the fact that I could never feed Logan-he had to have donated milk (Later my friend donated milk on his behalf when she weaned her twins…heart warming to say the least)
By the time we got home I contemplated exclusively expressing because suddenly my milk was too much and feeding him was traumatic for both of us. Milk went everywhere as poor Aidy coughed and sputtered and promptly learned to BITE DOWN….Most mornings I woke up covered in milk despite breast pads and don’t get me started on the pain.
But soon things sorted themselves out and we got into a grove, he ended up having formula in the day (while I was at work) because I could not pump enough and because the specific (crazy pricey) formula was said to help with reflux.
But every morning and evening he would drink from me and it became “our thing”
Something only I could do for him-Our US TIME.
But I had always said I would stop breastfeeding when he turned one, a walking “talking” toddler with a mouth full of teeth was just never part of the deal (personal preference)
I’m hoping this will encourage him to eat more and help him get to sleep without me having to go and cuddle him at 3 in the morning.
 So far so good, he is getting used to it, even if he tugs at me now and again asking for “juice” (weird I know-I say milk he says juice) but he seems to be “getting it”
As for me, I guess I will have to find another way to have “us time”
But all being said and done, I’m glad I gave this breastfeeding thing a go and I feel blessed that I could because I’m well aware that many woman are not as lucky.

HAPPY MONDAY ALL!

5 things I didn’t know about having a kid

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I don’t know who took the chocolate from your bag mommy

1. The phrase “sleeping like a baby” is apparently a sarcastic comment, because sleep interrupted by nagging and crying is hardly restful, neither is sleep that can only be achieved when people tiptoe around you, avoiding noisy toys like they are in a low budget spy movie.
2.  Babies are quite expensive – I knew they weren’t cheap,but I didn’t expect my monthly “baby budget” to rival the cast of Jersey Shore’s “tan budget”, it shouldn’t, should it?
3.  A one-year-old can cause roughly the same amount of havoc as a rock group on tour, in less time. Seriously I can put Aidan down in the family room, go to my bedroom, put down my bag, come back and all heck would have broken lose; he unpacks things, throws and pulls things off, climbs in to things…at any given moment it can look like a toy store has set up a badly organised pop-up store in my house – and I know he is not the only one, many a child I know can take a room from “show house quality”  to “I promise I’m not a hoarder” in no time.
4. Kids have multiple personalities… Aidan will go to lunch with his dad, eat a few chips, colour-in, play in play room- awww sweet. He will go to lunch with his mom, throw a few chips on the floor, eat his crayons, get on the table, squirt juice out of his juice box – uhmmm same kid?
Or he will sing along to nursery rhymes with me and repeat phrases, but when I try to get him to do it when someone else is in the room he makes me look like I have a vivid imagination and all he can say is goo-goo gaga.
5. Kids change everything you thought you knew about having kids, every eye roll at a noisy kid on a plane, every judgemental thought about kids throwing tantrums in a shop –  your views will completely change…in fact if you have ever as much as thought “My kid will never….” or “I will never let my kid…” chances are you are about to eat those words along with whatever half eaten slightly soggy treat your kid decides to “share” with you (you shouldn’t say no to a baby offering you something apparently- yummmm)

Aidan’s room, the joys