I disagree with my friend’s parenting decisions, and that’s okay

So why am I telling you that I disagree with my friend’s parenting decisions? Is it that I am hoping my friend reads this and that she will see my disapproval? Nah it’s not that. I mean, obviously, I don’t hide parenting style clashes, how could I with a blog I update at least three times a week? I was just thinking that it is perfectly fine to disagree with my friend’s parenting decisions and still be friends, and dare I say it myself…more people need to do that.

disagree with my friend's parenting decisions

Also when I say friend I mean friends…I disagree with quite a few…

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“Whataboutism” and why it makes me want to smack people

I’m so over this whataboutism nonsense!!! Although this blog is classed as “family lifestyle” I do tend to talk about world issues quite frequently. I figure it still counts as “family lifestyle” because as a detective and a journalist and just members of society, current affairs come up in conversations in our house a lot, so allow me to have a conversation about whataboutism

What is it? Whataboutism (also known as whataboutery) is a variant of the tu quoque logical fallacy that attempts to discredit an opponent’s position by charging them with hypocrisy without directly refuting or disproving their argument, which is particularly associated with Soviet and Russian propaganda.

Trump uses it  a lot , but since I’m not a political expert here is a LINK  to a reliable news source regarding Trump and this.  However, the whataboutism that’s annoying me is closer to home.

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Guilt…my other middle name

I am almost always covered in a thin layer of guilt. a film of guilt floats on top of the ocean of my soul as if I have had an oil spill and now have a bunch of helpful vegetarians on gap year trying to save penguins in the inner recesses of my mind.

I was reading this meme yesterday that said something like “stop being friends with people who don’t check up on you regularly”. I’m one of those people, I envisioned every friend, family member and acquaintance unfriending me in real life after reading that. See I’m not good with keeping in touch. I mean we already established that I’m a sucky friend. So the guilt is somewhat warranted.Β 

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Learning to live and let live

I never thought of myself as judgemental. Thanks largely to my mom, I have had a pretty liberal upbringing and have always believed that everyone has the right to live their lives the way they see fit….
But a recent conversation with good friends got me thinking…”How judgemental am I really”
One friend voiced her displeasure at seeing seductive pictures on FB where the women have hairy underarms and the other friend asked. . . “but who says shaving is a must?”. . . after trying to sneak a peak at that friend’s underarms (hairless in case you were wondering), I thought to myself, “really who decides these things”

So here I am trying to live a less judgemental life when it comes to the small things… I’m pretty sorted with the big things, like I don’t worry myself about other peoples, religious, political or sexual decisions but the little things need some work….

Some things that make me raise a eyebrow are:

– Super hairy legs in mini skirts
– Sexy arm in the air pictures with hairy underarms
– Shaving off eyebrows to draw them back on
– Extensively ornate hairstyles on a day-to-day basis (like farewell/prom styles to the shop)
– Foundation that doesn’t match your skin colour
– Children past the toddler stage who are still being breastfed
– People that tag themselves with complements #sosexy #hotness #fierce
– People older than me who still have party everyday college like lifestyles
– and the whole those are not pants they are tights or in some cases STOCKINGS thing

I figure that if I want people to respect my decisions I need to give them the same courtesy…
So here is to a life less judgemental!!!

Happy Thursday people πŸ™‚ wish me luck, I just saw someone in practically see through tights and up went the brow!

That awkward moment, when you catch yourself being a b*%ch

Social media can diminish your happy, it can Β be really Β bad for your self esteem…seriously it can, there is always someone on holiday on some tropical location while you drag yourself out of bed and feel like you should be a honorary Polar Bear PlungerΒ just for making it to the shower.

There is always going to be someone with the cutest short haircut just as you decide to grow yours out, or someone who looks amazing with long hair just after you did the big chop.
Everyone seems to be on some sort of diet and exercise kick and you find yourself eating a chocolate chip cookie with the same sort of rebellious shame you would see from a 15-year-old smoking behind the school tennis courts.
I never saw myself as a bitchy person, I can be happy for others and usually I am, so I was very surprised to find myself eye rolling at other peoples statuses…Ohhhhh you got ANOTHER pair of shoes that could pay for food for a family of five for the next three months, good for you. Or ohhhh another night out and now you don’t know how you are going to face the day in the wake of three bottles of wine… “Wait let me take a selfie”… so you can see the worry in my eye….
I even found myself feeling envious of other peoples entrepreneurial spirit…THAT is when I knew there was something up. I usually get quite a kick out of people succeeding in small business so I knew I was not being myself.
No jinne Eleanor pull yourself towards yourself and get over yourself…hehehehehe
I realised that what was wrong with this equation was not other people, they were just living their lives, being them and since I was never mad about that before – not in the slightest – something must be up with me.
I realised that it is very difficult to be happy for others when you are not happy for yourself. But why wasn’t I happy?
On paper things seem good, a great family, amazing friends…not to mention I share my life and home with two handsome men who think I’m the bees knees… what is up? and then I realised I have been existing not living. I’ve been so caught up in the day to day drudgery of life that I forgot to actually LIVE life.
Living with clinical depression I am used to slumps. For days on end Β I will just feel so inconsolably sad that I just get used to it.
But since I decided to live Β medication free as much as possible I have been on myself to get my mindset right . . . So that is what I have been doing the last few days and I found being in the moment and doing what I love Β made it easy to be happy which in turn makes it easy to be happy for others.

I’m happy for the girl going on her trip because I remember how she had dreamed about it. I think the girl getting into shape looks amazing (should probably get some tips) The one who parties all the time kinda reminds me of my early 20s self and the person with the blossoming new business can now employ others and that is great…. Sometimes you kinda have to admit that you are being a bitch, laugh at yourself and realise it’s not about the hand you are dealt, it’s about how you play your cards πŸ™‚

Here’s to remembering, other’s success is not your failure!