Category: interesting people

The real WAHMs of SA – Mandy writes

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I’m super excited today!
On Monday I thought, “hey, it would be so awesome to interview Work From Home Moms now that I have first hand experience in how crazy tough it is”…any work that needs to be done between changing your boss’s nappies, is going to be difficult me thinks.
I sent out a message into the social networking sphere asking if any moms would be willing to chat to me between their spa days and personal trainers (HAAAAAAAAAAAAAA they wish) between the school drop offs and stock taking rather, and the response was overwhelming.

Today  I start with Mandy from Pregnant in Cape Town and Ever After, I love her blog and her supermom series and was really thrilled that she agreed to chat to me…here is what she has to say.

The former PR exec whose hair makes Rapunzel jealous, works from home as a freelance writer with her bundle of joy Charly and like me she is lucky enough to have her mom help out with the baba

 

Tell us about your family.

Brett and I were married on our 7 year anniversary because we wanted to start trying for a family. One month later exactly we fell pregnant with our honeymoon baby 🙂 Charlotte Rose (Charly) was born a teeny weeny 3.19kgs on 10 February 2014. She is now a scary smart little action madam, who is happiest wearing a tutu and gumboots, running full pace and kicking a ball or “reading” a book out loud to anyone who will listen. My mom is an integral prt of our little family as she “works” for me by taking care of Charly 4 days a week from 8:30 – 3:30 (excluding nap time when Miss C only sleeps with me); we are incredibly lucky to have her here. The timing worked out perfectly as her company changed locations out of her range and I realised there was no way I could continue working at home while taking care of C on my own; so we made an arrangement that gives her the financial freedom to not have to go in search of a job and I don’t have to worry about my daughter for a second. Winning all around. Brett, Charly and I live in the Southern Suburbs of Cape Town with our two cats, Trigger and Gizmo.

Why did you become a work from home mom?

I was headhunted a few short months before my wedding to work at incredibly busy PR agency. I adored the job and the people, and we worked incredibly long hours under intense pressure, which was fine at the time. I found out I was pregnant at 5 weeks and resigned a week later. The long hours and stress weren’t good for me or baby and I always planned to work from home when I became a mom. I am a writer first and foremost and one of my previous clients insisted they wanted to be my first client the second they found out I was freelancing, so they signed a retainer and I was officially a business owner with my own client getting paid to do what I love 🙂

What was the most unexpected part of becoming a wahm?

I love that I get to keep my mind stretched and engaged and I get to practice my writing and editing skills; and I am loving even more helping small businesses get out there and build their brands more effectively. I have always been incredibly dedicated and focused. At the same time, I love spending time with my daughter and knowing that she knows she always comes first. The unexpected part for me is how much I struggle to do both effectively at times; feeling like I’m never quite focused on one or the other. I have always been great at multitasking and splitting my focus without being distracted, but being a sleep deprived mommy seems to have messed with that superpower. While WAHMs definitely have many of the benefits of a SAHM and working mom, we also definitely have all the worst of both too.

 

What has been the hardest part?

Focusing enough to be able to deliver high quality work without falling asleep on my keyboard. Tied closely with balancing my time with big blocks of time taken up with my relationship with my baby. I stop no matter what the deadline or how engaged I am in the process, to visit with her if she needs it, to “come see mama”, to calm a bad tantrum, to give her kisses or play a game of hide and seek, to breastfeed her and settle her for her nap when she is ready between 11 and 12 and then I have to stay next to her until around 1:30 (because she wakes often to check if I’m there and won’t sleep if I’m not). I work on my phone so it’s not the end of the world, but it can be very disruptive.

What is the most rewarding part?

I don’t miss anything. I’m there for every milestone, every accomplishment, every new word, every nap, every giggle. Even if I’m in the next room I can get to her if she takes a fall or gets a fright or just needs her mommy. I am so lucky to have that. 

 

I also don’t work on Wednesdays. My mom can’t be here and I can’t work when she’s not here, so Wednesday is Charly and mommy day. I love that I can choose to do this and be there for her!


What is your day like?

 

 

Chaos 😀

Charly still wakes at least every 90 minutes all night, but she mostly (on a good day) only gets up for the day just before 7. We wake daddy and head downstairs about 7:30. While Brett makes me toast and coffee (yip, I’m that lucky) and Cs fruit and cold meat and sometimes toast; C and I cuddle a little. 

Once she goes into her highchair in front of Curious George for breakfast around 8, zombie mom drinks coffee and starts her work day by checking mails and messages online on her phone. 

My mom arrives at 8:30 and I head upstairs to my home office. I start with client work or PiCT posts (on feature days)nor deadline stories for other publications, and I do that until Charly demands a visit around 10:30. I stop for a cup of tea and a cuddle or a story, and then she plays with granny again until she comes and tells me it’s time for her nap. I then continue working on my phone, checking mails and usually writing for PiCT. 

At 1:30 my mom comes and sits with her (coz if she wakes then she has slept long enough), and I head down and prepare lunch for myself and sometimes Charly too bad if there is prep needed. If she wakes we eat together, if she doesn’t I go back to work around 2 and my mom feeds her after some mommy cuddles. 

From 2-3:30 I try to focus fully on PiCT work for my series or giveaways, the things that take research and contact and in depth writing. 

 It’s then mommy-Charly time from 3:30-4:45 when daddy comes home. Daddy spends about 10 minutes catching up with his girl and then preps dinner and puts it on bits then family time until around 6:30 when we sit down together and eat. 

Bathtime around 7, family story time and then I feed miss C to sleep. Once she’s out I log back into my phone and check my mail, social media platforms and do some writing.  
Sometimes there is some mommy-daddy time, other times we both work and yet other times I pass out right alongside Charly to start the cycle all over again 🙂
 
 

Tell us about your business.

I create content for businesses, everything from blog posts to journal columns to newspaper articles to website copy and advertorial and and and.. 

I also do some proofreading and editing if I find projects I am passionate about, like the awesome entrepreneur business advice book that just went to print 🙂

I am also passionate about helping small brands; particularly mom-owned businesses and blogs. I use my PR and Marketing experience, my love of consistency and attention to detail to help look at their brand identity and whether they are sharing the story of who they are and what they do effectively.

I have just taken on another big project, but that announcement is not quite ready to be made… I will be sharing it all soon enough 😉

 

Where did business idea and name come from?

The business idea was easy; I took what I was best at, looked at what parts of that I loved and focused on that. My blog has also given me the freedom to practice and stretch myself and my skill set and I am loving being able to use these new skills to help others.
Haha, since I am my brand I decided to keep the name simple as Mandy Lee Miller and I added a .com to make it official. I love my married name and all its Ms and Ls 🙂

What sets you apart?

I am not only passionate about what I do; I am exceptionally good at all of it. 

 

By focusing on what I love, I have been able to constantly improve and expand in specific areas, which means I don’t get bored and wake up every day excited to get going (even when I’ve had no sleep the night before). 

 

I also practice what I preach; I write and edit every single day for my own brand Pregnant in Cape Town & Ever After. I have also just done a complete brand review of my own and have seen phenomenal growth in a very short time. 

Where do you see it going?

 

I hope it stays exactly on track as it is! I love the direction I am growing, expanding more into parenting writing for other brand and I can’t begin to tell you how excited I am about my new venture… No really, I can’t tell you no matter how much I want to!! It’s of the bounce up and down, squeeeeeee level of excitement though. 

 

YOU CAN GET IN TOUCH WITH MANDY

 

Mel and her faith in “someone elses plan”

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I really love this No Fear Just Faith series, I love how it means something different to everyone tasked with writing a piece. Today we have a blogger who I have mentioned here and here before, Melanie Blignaut,  I love her realness and her views of princesses and cartoons and I am starting to forgive her for putting that stupid bubble guppies song in my head yesterday….

In my final year of varsity, while completing my BA (Dramatic Art) at Wits, I found myself uncertain about what I wanted to do next. After four years of drama, I knew that I didn’t particularly want a career in the industry.

Those four years had challenged my faith. I never doubted God or his love for me, but I wasn’t always consistent in living out my faith. Perhaps it was because I never really rebelled as a teen, but I made a lot of mistakes in those years.

I knew, at the end of it, that I needed to be serving God and not myself.

That December, I joined a group of young adults from our church who were running a life skills workshop at a local primary school.

During that week of the workshop, I felt God nudging me toward something, and I spoke to our youth pastor. I decided to commit the next year to serving on our church’s schools ministry team. What this entailed was teaching Life Orientation at three local primary schools, as well as helping run the Friday night junior youth group and July holiday programme.

It was a good year for me.

I reconnected with church friends I had drifted from while studying, and I also grew in my faith and desire to continue serving the Lord. God also gave me the desire to use my gifts for him, so that year a friend and I wrote and directed a Christmas play at church. This play was the starting point for our church’s drama ministry.

I started my year on the schools team not knowing what the future held. I had to give up all my plans, all my concerns and simply trust that God had a plan, he was in control, and he would provide all that I needed.

My biggest lesson that year was really seeing God’s faithfulness. I had to trust him to provide my financial support, for one thing, but also in a more personal, intimate capacity. I had to trust that he had placed me on the team, that he was working in me and through me, and that he would show me the next step to take.

As I look back on my life so far, I can see how he was guiding me all along, even when I wasn’t paying attention. I can see how has used the people he brought into my life to grow me, to encourage me, and to teach me.

While I regret some of the choices I made as a student, I don’t regret studying drama or going to Wits. I made great friends there. I met my husband there. My husband and I now run our church’s drama ministry together, which just goes to show that you never know how God is going to use you and the people he places in your life. His plans for my life have been so much better than mine!

Mommy moment Monday: Revinia

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Today’s mommy is one of my oldest and dearest friends, most people assume we are related as she’s younger than me, but we spent tons of time together growing up…We are kinda cousins by choice, hehe. One of those friends who comes over and all we do is watch YouTube with wine 🙂
I also happen to be Godmother to her beautiful daughter, Zoey



Who are you:
I am the mum of a very busy 4 year old little girl named Zoey,manager of a retail store and wife.

Tell us of a time that your kiddo made you cringe:
We were at a funeral and while the coffin is being lowered and everyone is crying and feeling highly emotional she starts singing Ushers` song “I don’t mind” and dances like its a party.

Tell us about the time you felt like you were winning at the mommy thing:
After doing weeks of nursery rhymes and counting and colours with her I thought I should just giv up like this child not getting it,then when friends came over she put on a show saying all the nursery rhymes and counting I felt so proud


How motherhood changed you:
 I think its changed me and my perspective on life in so many ways but to name one its made me more accepting to changes I used to be very rigid and steadfast in my ways,but with a kid nothing is ever set in stone you must be flexible.

What do you wish you knew before becoming a mom:
.I wish I knew that it doesn’t matter how prepared you think you are there will be curve balls and you must learn to wing certain things as they come,and as much as you read up you will make mistakes,just learn from them.

Sometimes you can borrow faith…The Amelia story

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Today’s No Fear Just Faith guest post comes from Amelia who blogs over at Suddenly A Mom. I met Amelia as a freelance writer when I was in charge of organising writers for ad features back in the day. I really liked her and used my power as her link to work to force her to be my friend, whahahahaha. But seriously there was something seriously cool about her and after reading her post I’m sure you will understand 🙂

I’ve never been a particularly fearful person. I’m not scared of lonely streets, bikers with tattoos, dogs with big teeth, or cars that drive fast. But, 2014 certainly taught me what being afraid was really about. If ever I had doubts…2014 cleared them up for me!

At the risk of making this a depressing journal of disaster, I’ll give a quick breakdown of what happened last year.
February – got divorced from my husband of nearly 10 years after he told me he was having an affair with a girl from work.
Also February – my stepmom (with whom I’m really close) nearly lost her life and spent weeks in hospital, followed by rehabilitation.
April – found a lump in my neck.
May – spent days and days in public hospitals (thanks to no medical aid), and spent almost all of my savings on medical tests.
June – first op to remove half my thyroid and 5 lymph nodes, all found to be cancerous and malignant.
July – second op to remove the rest of my thyroid.
August and September – in and out of hospital for tests, scans and appointments.
October – received radiation treatment.
November – called off a rushed engagement that seemed to be a good idea during all the drama, but was really quite a bad one.
In a timeline, it looks quite manageable. In real life, it wasn’t as easy. I was scared. But, there were so many rays of sunshine amidst it all, and these were where the real lessons came from.
Suddenly, the friends I’d shared with my now-ex-husband rallied together and cared for me in ways that I can’t imagine, proving their love and loyalty beyond description. I was literally taken into their homes, fed, hugged and distracted 24 hours a day. I wailed in their showers, had panic attacks on their kitchen floors, threw up in their toilets…all while they stood by patiently and told me that I was going to crawl out of this black hole and smile again one day. 

And how right there were! I met the most amazing man with the most amazing daughter. They’d had their fair share (unfair, really) of sadness and tragedy. But, together, we have found such happiness and calm. I’m now a wife to a glorious person and, without a doubt, my very best friend. And I’m mom to a 6-year old who makes me laugh every day. I’m healthy (hold thumbs for check up!), happy and so grateful. I must admit that my faith in happy endings waned at times. But, maybe it was the faith that my amazing, special friends had that counted. 
Faithful friends

Mommy Moment Monday; Robyn

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So I’m bringing back mommy moment Monday’s because I love hearing from other mom’s… I’ve changed the format though and will interview a different mom every week 🙂  So here goes the first of the series staring my bestie, Robyn… we could not be more different if we actually physically tried, BUT we spent most of the last ten years having to help people differentiate between the two of us, no I’m not Robyn , that is, or I think you mean Eleanor, that’s her…so arb I tell you.

Robyn’s Mom story:
Brief description: me, ex journo, student teacher working towards my dream, mom of almost 3 year old twins Blake and Riley who are the light of my life, my reason for breathing and my reason for losing my mind all at once lol.
1. Tell us about the time kids made you cringe: um hard to think of just one. Recently Riley’s new fun thing to do is to ask loudly as people walk past; “whose that lady”, “whats that man”. Blake is still being potty trained and when my mom was looking after them he decided to poop in a toy colander
2. Tell us about one moment you felt like you were winning at this mommy thing: Whenever they get excited to see me and also when I see how they play together and you can just see how much they love each other it really warms my heart. Also we try to pray every night and before meals but in the rush of life I sometimes forget, but without fail one of them will remind me and makes me happy to be raising them with a love of the Lord
3. How has mamahood changed you/your life: Well for one thing my time is never really my own. Every decision is made with them in mind. Our lives are busier now and sleeping in is a distant memory. Also i used to be a lot more judgmental. Now I never give advice or my opinions. If someone asks I rather say what works for me. I now have more compassion towards other people’s journeys because “you never know what they are dealing with”. I can’t judge a mom with a screaming kid in the shop because tomorrow it could be me.
4. What do you wish you knew before: hmmmmmm. Well firstly I wish I knew that the image of perfect kids who follow instructions and have a concept of time was just an illusion lol. I cant even count the times I’ve had to say; “no Riley you can’t wear two tops and no pants”. Things change when you have strong willed kids who don’t understand you are 2 minutes from being late for work and about a minute from losing your mind and one is running around bottomless and the other one is hiding away without making a peep.