When your child is no longer “cute”

What nonsense am I speaking about? Do I really think my child is no longer cute? Well yes

And no… He is my child he is the most attractive kid ever since ever. He has the curliest hair and biggest eyes and most perfect skin(we all think our kids are beautiful it’s ingrained in our subconscious. We are in awe of them  – then sometimes we see photos of them when they were younger and realise we were wearing “mom goggles” – so you would be hard pressed to find a parent who didn’t think their kid was beautiful. In fact your mom probably still thinks your grownup  self is sooo beautiful) . But this isn’t about attractiveness NOPE this is about that Awwww factor babies have and let’s face it my child is no longer cute….

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Only a housewife?! I beg to differ

I come from a “matriarchal family” by saying that I mean my gran ruled the roost and all my aunts studied and worked and studied some more.

My mom however was “only a housewife” I never understood that term especially the “only” part.
I knew she had a really tough upbringing (she could write a book that would have you balling your eyes out)  I also know that she was never “only” anything.
Before she stopped working she put in crazy hours at a diner (yes an actual diner, no I wasn’t born in America in 1960) She did that to help my dad pay for his studies after he was wrongfully dismissed on my first birthday.
When she “stopped working” my cousins were always over, the people in town started to think my mom (who even to this day looks super young) had way too many babies. She looked after them so my aunts could work and study. 
She sewed and knitted for people to make extra money and we sold things like popcorn, fudge and the ice lollies we would make by freezing juice in cups with sticks in.
I remember my parents taking on projects together, he can fix anything, she can sew anything (but she has never been afraid of a challenge so I know she even tiled and painted under my dads guidance)  she has also always been involved with the church, from Sunday school teacher to treasury.

Through it all she had our uniforms ready every morning along with our breakfasts, lunch for when we got home and supper at night (takeaways were not big back then, or should I say money wasn’t) and she found the time to craft and bake with us and teach her awkward daughter who didn’t have many friends how to jump rope and play hopscotch. (She was a pinterest mom before pinterest was a thing)
She quizzed us for exams, made sure God was not just part of our vocab, but our lives and ruled with an iron fist and a dirty look.
I’ve heard jealous women refer to her as lucky, “she has a fancy car and doesn’t even have a job, must be nice” I’ve watched her hold her composure as they would suggest she was lucky to “land my dad” She was referred to as a trophy wife in front of her children and remained so dignified it instantly taught me the meaning of “ladylike”.
Now she helps raise my child, she teaches him about gardening and sharing and loves him and my sister’s son fiercely.
She’s the one who puts flowers on my other sons grave, who opens my windows when she fears I’m getting depressed and always manages to put others first even when she vows she will take some “me time”.
She leaves me notes of encouragement when she cant find the words to say and probably “gets me” way more than anyone else.
My mother was and is not “Just a Housewife”… like every woman who chooses this route she is a superwoman and my inspiration. 

Are you unintentionally body shaming kids?


Aidan is often invited to parties (maybe not so much after this post) … He is shy so we inevitably find ourselves standing off to the side so he can play near mommy, which gives me loads of people watching time.

I’ve noticed a trend which really annoys me; People commenting on children’s appearance within earshot of the child, either to the parents or referencing the parents.

It’s rude and awkward STOP IT!

“Oooh she’s a fat one hey, look at those fat thighs”, “Ooh wobbly baby”, or “Shame this one looks malnourished, so skinny! Children these days are just too skinny”.

I notice the hurt in the parents’ faces and the confusion in the child’s face and I just can’t think of one reason for adults to behave like that. Perhaps the only explanation is that they are just not thinking about it, it’s just a child, it’s just a observation.

Aidan doesn’t get many comments, he is a pretty average, under the radar sized kid… his comments are usually about his hair and that it’s a good thing he is a boy with that bush of curls, because it would be unmanageable on a girl…(uhm, they seem to forget that  I have a bush of curls and I’m a girl).

What I don’t get is WHY, why do people feel the need to dissect a kid’s appearance right in front of the kid?!

It’s hard enough as an adult when another “adult” says; “wow you have gained weight” or “wow you look sickly thin” (am I the only one who knows rude people like this?)

I imagine the effect  is way worse on a child who is still developing their sense of self.

I’m not beyond reproach, I have seen a mom loading a trolley up with junk food while a very chubby toddler holds on to her leg and I thought, that’s probably not the best idea, but it’s not my kid so I keep my mouth shut! I don’t know who that junk food is for or why the child does not conform to societies norms (shame, I don’t either), what if the kid has a health problem or the mom is a caterer, so I hush up, because I do not know their story.

Pointing out a four-year-old’s chubby thighs is not helping anyone. In fact if a child’s weight is under or over by any margin I am willing to bet that the parents are well aware and freaked out enough.

It’s not like you are doing a public service; “wow he is really big, hey”…and the parent would be like, “WHAT?! I had no idea! let me rush out and speak to a doctor , thank you for possibly saving my kid”.

And while I am on this soap box… why do people feel the need to compare kids to each other in front of them.

By all means compliment kids, I believe it’s good for them, but don’t let three little girls walk into a room and be like; “Oh well aren’t you in the pink, such a cutey” , because the one in the purple and the one in the blue can hear you and go home wondering why they are not cuties.

We need to teach kids to embrace their differences, they need to know people come in various shapes and sizes, some have long hair, some have short, some have curly hair others have straight, eye colours differ, skin colours differ, WE DIFFER and it’s okay, but I think if we want to raise kids who are not little jerks we need to be weary of being big jerks …

That’s my little rant

Have a awesome Tuesday…


Mommy Moment Monday : Ronethea

I’m loving the Mommy Moment Monday, it’s a time to put all the mommy wars behind us, “OMG! is that formula!!!” , “what, you are STILL breast feeding”, “Why do you only have one kid, you so selfish!”, “Why do you have so many kids, you so selfish!”, “Ohhhh cloth nappies, ooooh disposable nappies, ooooh organic, ooooh junk food” sheesh, BREATHE PEOPLE , BREATHE keyboard ninjas and forum attackers 🙂

I really just want to show that at the end of it all we want what is best for our kids so if you are a mom and are willing to be interviewed PLEASE drop me a line.

Today I’m featuring my cousin Ronethea, she was the first person close to me to become a mom, not counting my aunts (duh) her daughter Taylor (6) has been featured here, countless times 🙂

Here is what Ronethea has to say.

1. Who are you?
I’m a 20-something single woman who happens to be a student, worker and a mom

2.Tell us about the time kiddo made you cringe
We recently changed churches, on our first visit, Tay , who was not used to live bands in service put her hands up to her ears and loudly announced that they were “making a noise”. It was so awkward!

3. Tell us about one moment you felt like you were winning at this mommy thing 
Everytime Taylor gives me a super hug and tells me I’m the best mum in the whole wide world (YAY) 😀 …

 4. How has mamahood changed you/your life
It totally flipped my whole world upside down… Looking back I can only thank God each day for my life and my blessing, Princess Taylor.

 5. What do you wish you knew before
They don’t hand out Mummy Manuals at birth (ai jai jai)… Here’s to learning new things each and every day 😀

Me&Ronethea 🙂