Its supposedly my due date today, supposed to be 🙁
I took the week off because I just don’t want to face any1, being strong every day really takes it out of you, and today I don’t want to be strong! I don’t want to be careful of others feeling, I don’t want to be sure not to make others uncomfortable, my life is uncomfortable enough, the pain u feel imagining yourself in our situation is a fraction of what we live with, so today I just couldn’t care less.
I just want my son! I want to understand why everyone else gets to be pregnant then give birth then bring baby home, complain about pyjama drills and stretch marks and then take a billion pics of their baby and brag to any1 with a few minutes.
Meanwhile I’m that “poor girl”, shame “that one” the one who lost her baby, who never got to see him alive! The one whose baby is dead!/dood!/gone!not on earth anymore THAT GIRL!
The one who needs to “move on” to “try again” who “Is still young,with plenty of time”
Today I don’t care how strong ppl think I am! Today I want Logan safely in my arms, I want the aching inside to subside so I can breath! I want ppl to shove their advice where the sun doesn’t shine. You don’t know “exactly how I feel” if u haven’t put your hopes,dreams and love into a gorgeous bundle of joy and then have it ripped away from you, YOU DONT KNOW!
I appreciate the support I’m blessed by the care, but today I think I’m allowed to hurt, because you know what,
IT HURTS!!!!
I feel stupid and out of place and unfinished while everyone else who was pregnant around time I was has babies, IT HURTS and today I’m letting it hurt, tomorrow ill put big girl panties on, today, ill let tears fall freely, feel sorry for myself, and just think, IT SUCKS! Logan should be here, I’ll learn to live with it but today IT SUCKS
– Thanx to every1 who is there for me, and don’t worry about me today, it needs to be really dark before you see the light
Sent from my BlackBerry®