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| Mr independence |
Many books/experts say that letting your child fall asleep in your arms breeds bad habits and spoils them.I get where they come from and understand the need for self soothing.
Besides, with time constraints it’s not always possible to “co-sleep” and falling asleep on a toddler bed with a foot in my ear and teddies staring at me is certainly not my first option.
But yes I spoil my son and often lay next to him till he falls asleep. We read,pray,he dozes off and then I quietly slip out of his room,pack lunches and go to bed.
I don’t mind spoiling him this way because he will not be little for ever and if I stick to my plan of one and done I won’t get this chance again and even if I have another child splitting time between three beds will be quite a task (I’m no SA president) so for now when he asks me to “dudu here mama” I do and I’m pretty sure part of it is spoiling me not him….
At not even two he is fiercely independent this kid.
Just yesterday I dropped him at daycare and had him squirming and crying, I thought it was because he wanted to come with me and not stay there, but in actual fact he wanted me to put him down (not carry him in front of his friends) once I put him down he strolled in, got a hug from a class mate and started playing blocks, not looking back once… (my heart broke a little)
I shouldn’t be surprised though he brings juice or water from the fridge when he wants a drink in a glass, milk for his bottle and even gets himself snacks (provita,a fruit,a yogurt that sort of thing)
He chooses what toys to take on visits and packs his favourites away at night.
Aidan sets up for his own bath grabbing towel,pjs and even placing the large plastic bath I still use to bath him (save water) into the bigger bath.
He tells me to “clean bum bum now please” when he is dirty, does hugs and kisses on his own terms and the cutest yet most sad; I caught him kissing his own “booboo”…
So I for one will take what I can get even if it involves a children’s bed and 5 bed time story repeats…they grow up so fast and one day looking back these will be moments I remember – to those who think I’m spoiling him, don’t worry I intend to stop by University :p
Oh my word! Such an independent little guy! I so get what you saying about clinging onto those mom/child moments. When they cling, we sometimes just want to say "just go do your own thing please, I need some space", but then we are overcome with this "separation anxiety" when THEY starts to let go, especially when they are still so little! Just this morning, after needing me to literally walk around the whole school since the first day of school to find his friends or wait for his friends, I was told, when we arrived near the line-up area, to "stop, you can go now mommy". I was so taken aback, really I was! That moment when you are no longer "needed".
I know! And as much as I want to encourage his independence I feel guilty sometimes like why does he feel like he needs to do things on his own *ahhhh mummy guilt*
I know! And as much as I want to encourage his independence I feel guilty sometimes like why does he feel like he needs to do things on his own *ahhhh mummy guilt*
Ah I don't think much of self soothing – I think you are doing a great job giving him all the cuddles and time. Enjoy every moment. Letting your child fall asleep in your arms is not spoiling it is creating a strong bond – I think those so called expert books are rubbish!