I’m the first to say “be kind” just “be kind” but I’m not that good when it comes to being kind to myself… this sparked a conversation with a good friend about kindness, like charity ,starting at home.
From time to time I have friends over, not to my actual house, I’m not that sociable, but over here to my blog where they can share their wisdom with us and this “be kind to yourself damn it” message is as wise as they come…
Odette (the friend in question, I have two
The other day I read this post on Facebook, saying you should be kind to yourself because you spend more time talking to yourself than to anyone else.
This resonated with me because of where my life is at the moment. I’m about to leave a job I genuinely love for another job I believe I will love – but I am terrified, all because I have not been feeding myself with the right words:
You are smart.
You are strong.
And – perhaps the most sinful of all declarations – you are deserving.
Why are these words so hard? Why do we need these affirmations from other people when we can’t give them to ourselves?
A good friend has been speaking to me lately about bullies she encountered years ago, and it made me realise that, now that we’ve all grown up and left high school behind, the things we whisper to ourselves in the mirror are more hurtful than anything our high school nemesis (sidebar: what’s the plural form of nemesis? Never mind, will Google it later) could conjure up.
So. On behalf of any of you out there who know what it is like to feel plain or fat or ordinary, I’m instituting a new rule.
Be nice to yourself. If you think something negative about the way you look or the kind of person you are, you are obligated to chase it with three compliments. Because we all have to learn to love ourselves eventually – might as well start today.
For me, it goes something like this:
My arms are too hairy for a woman, my muffin-top is getting difficult to hide and I have man-hands. And as I type this, I am smiling about it. Because I also have a kick-ass sense of humour, I’m a walking dictionary of movie references and a hell of a 30 Seconds partner, and I am kind.
It has been a long road for me, learning to like who I am despite the ways in which I still annoy myself sometimes. But if we are able to forgive so much in our friends and family and partners, why shouldn’t we do the same for ourselves?
Whoever and wherever you are, I hope this helps you in some way. I hope it reminds you that you’re amazing – because you are. And I hope you take this exercise to heart. But if you don’t, just try to listen to the language you use in your thoughts, really listen to what you’re saying about yourself.
General rule: if it’s not something you’d say to your best friend because you don’t want to hurt their feelings, it’s probably not something you should be throwing at yourself either.
If you do want to be kinder to your fantastic self, tell me all about what makes you awesome in the comments.
- Odette will be popping in from time to time so do keep an eye out for her 🙂