keeping the faith in the storm

I come from one of those families where each one of your aunts has been a mother to you in one way or another… I have always been close to one of my aunts in particular, my dads oldest sister and my Godmother. She has always been wise beyond her years and one of the most spiritual people you will ever meet. She totally indulged my need for reading everything I could get my hands on and had the best collection of old magazines EVER!!! And since she never had children of her own, she understands our battle with bringing our own into the world oh too well…Why am I bringing this up? Well she’s battling serious health problems at the moment and my head and heart are in competition to see which 1 is more screwed up. The news came on the eve of Rob’s dad’s funeral and needless to say we are back to that old familiar helpless feeling experienced with Logan, Mso, Kayla, Robs Dad, Mechelle’s hubby (all this year)… The “why can’t I fix this” feeling! The “why can’t I make it ok” feeling! The “God reveal your plan Please” feeling! The difference between the loved ones mentioned before and my aunt is that while we mourn for them we can still pray and hope for her, I’m determined to keep the faith…even though my faith is like a pencil sharpened all the way to the eraser I’m barely holding on to the little eraser part, but I’m still holding on…I love her far too much to let go… Like my good friend Sal says “THERE IS ALWAYS HOPE” I’ve taken off a week from work and “life” to just get my mind right and to help out where I can… This means I will only be back on blogesphere next week…I’m on break all over you see 😉 -You can’t change the direction of the wind, you can only adjust your sails

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