When a specialist recently told me I needed to lose weight it hit me like a ton of bricks, naturally I’ve known this for a while because even with his hefty fee he wasn’t telling me anything the mirror and my dwindling wardrobe were not…
but it’s different when a doctor tells you, more official! This isn’t the snarky lady from work, the inappropriate family member or the “helpful” friend, this is someone with enough letters after his name that he MUST know what he is talking about.
Even though my GP, “condoned” me snapping at said specialist for his indelicate remark, and commented that his assessment, though accurate (I could stand to lose some weight) was a bit extreme (he is aiming for school leaver size). I do need to trim down, to help my health get back on track.
Well if my weight is to blame for some of my health issues, I’m willing to up my efforts by all means! It doesn’t mean,however, that hearing there are “medical reasons” for you needing to lose weight doesn’t sting….
That it doesn’t bring forth those feelings of “overweight couch potato,post baby damage, don’t look at me”craziness!
Well it does, it makes me crazy and feel even more unattractive than the bloating and water retention (initial reason for going to dr) has been making me feel.
I was feeling rather “woe is me” to be honest, until this evening when I fed Aidan, and like he always does he rubbed his hand over my face. I smiled thinking how the face I harshly criticize as MOONFACE brings this child so much comfort, how my hands which could certainly do with a manicure, are the very hands he reaches out for as he learns to walk, my thighs which I have “magically shrunk with my eye lasers” a thousand times are what he clings to for support and my stomach scarred from the c-sections makes him giggle endlessly as he attempts to blow raspberries on my tummy like I do on his… Aidan doesn’t care that I would like to go up a cup size, to him that’s where he gets nutrition and comfort, he doesn’t care that I want my arms to be more toned, he just wants to be held…to him I’m amazing, a super hero, funny and all knowing and it’s time I see myself like that too (minus the all knowing part-Although Rob might argue that I have this one down)…
Yes I’m not exactly where I want to be or “should be” but I should applaud my own efforts and not be so hard on myself…acceptance comes from within and THERE is where I need to channel my strength from, there and from the love I have and get from my two boys. My husband and son who love me crazy and all, and at all sizes 😉 mini, midi and grande loco 😉
So I’m ready to take on the challenge of getting healthy and in shape (both mentally and physically) for my own sake as well as for my boys
JustEllaBella