So I’ve been feeling sick lately and today I had to go do a couple of tests at the hospital, the hospital, where two months ago,today, I held my lifeless little boy for the first and last time…so clearly wasn’t looking forward to that.
As luck would have it one of the tests was a scan of my kidneys, using the very same machine that revealed our babies gender, 5months ago.
I lay in the same room that just the other day had excited me, fighting back tears and making polite conversation with the technician, who then noticed my “unusual scar” and started asking questions about Logan. I kept thinking…hush lady you gonna make me cry.
Robin had moved his appointments around to come to the scan with me, even though I saw no need for it, and turns out I’m so glad he did, I wouldn’t have been able to face the scan without him…the oh so familiar, gel on your stomach the gentle prodding, but this time no rhythmic heart beat, no Logan. So obvious so real…rip there goes another plaster…