Summer time and all the bad that comes with it

Hello all!!!
Hein here.
Yep it’s summertime again(well in our parts of the world anyway), which means its time to break out the bikinis, short skirts and show some more skin…but WAIT! There are of course a few things to consider before you go out with your delusional thoughts of beauty. Check yourself before you wreck yourself!
Firstly, dress appropriate. I could not find any images of ugly swimwear(the material is too little to mess up anyway) but following are a few examples of highly inappropriate beach wear:
This is for the highly conservative female, who dont want too show much but their faces. We get it, your saving yourself and keeping your distance from men till ‘the one’ catches your eye but come on, he wont see you if your constantly hiding yourself. Ever heard of heat, not?…you’ll feel it.
Not only does that colour stink but spend a day in that bathing suit(yes it’s suppose to be swimwear) and you too will stink. Also I cannot image how it could be practical for swimming, if that thing retains water you’ll be so heavy you may drown…then again you might deserve to.
A friendly warning this summer, IF IT DOESN’T FIT, DONT WEAR IT.
Oh gawd my eyes!!! My eyes!!! …my lunch…my just ate lunch!!!
Some of you might think of getting a tan. Think again! As important as it is to feel comfortable in your body it is also imperative to feel comfy in your skin, by accepting it’s natural colour.
Some tans gone horribly wrong.
Let’s talk feet. Many men secretly have feet fetishes, more men then you might think so take care of your tootsies. They could be the big difference between a ‘can I buy you a drink’ and a ‘piss of you gremlin!’
Crocs are a BIG NO! As comfy as your personality defective croc-wearing best friend told u they might be they are not cool…in any era. Father time should wipe them out of material existance. Think about it, they are made of plastic! Try wearing a tupperware dish on your feet in 30 degrees Celsius weather and see if they dont sweat. A blatant fire hazard, try running out a burning building and see how far you get…yes you guessed it they will melt onto the heated floor. Not cool!
Open toe shoes are not for everyone!
Seriously! Painting them will not help.
Always wear flattering shoes. yes they looked pretty in the catalogue, on the shelf or in your hand but on your feet may be a whole different story. especially if they are open toed.
Shame those toes are hanging on for dear life. Not cool!
Finally ladies and gents…take care of your heels. No one likes a patch of gravel rubbing up against them while playing footsie or lying in bed.
Grind em down or something…better yet, if all else fails, WEAR SOCKS.

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