 |
| Let’s all just nap (freedigitalphotos.net) |
In the words of a good friend of mine, Zandile, who is as beautiful as she is funny (biatch)
Today I am unable to can!!!
Well not just today, the last week or so. Please tell me I’m not alone in having (for a fleeting moment) considered getting booked into hospital just so I can nap.
I’m not good at acting sick though, have never been, besides I’d probably upset the karma Gods and end up with a hospital infection. I’m what you would call unlucky/accident prone/awkward…
As I sit here typing I have a wrist I can’t put pressure on after falling down the stairs at my physiotherapists office, AFTER my appointment.
I have a rash on my face because the coating of my glasses is coming off and guess who is allergic to what is underneath.
I wont bore you with what the winter has done to my hair and nails, oh the brittality (yes I just made up that word)
Any who the point of the rant is that I am like many people this time of the year, so tired, my tired is tired.
I think mine comes from the beginning of the year when I decided to be a journalist again and like with any new thing I start, I was “ALL in”- “ ALL in” can be exhausting.
I resigned four months in and (determined to not have my family have to pay for my whim) I started working double jobs in my notice period.
The three months I was home I worked two jobs, I finished my online digital marketing course and I tried to get a business up and running.
I didn’t want to tell my boys they couldn’t have popcorn at the movies, that they needed to tighten their belts, just because I wasn’t feeling the 9 to 5.
I dropped the two job thing to come back to the office (Maybe if this was the plan all along I would have taken a day or two off). Determined to keep us afloat I have worked weekends and evenings and it was working.
Then a few days ago my careful planning fell flat when a months payment I was expecting didn’t materialize, there goes my juggling act, there goes my I can do this…
My need to please people (sure I can put a rush on that, hahaha) and my love of the Oh!Boy brand saw me / sees me sewing till the middle of the night. Meanwhile my husband and son have been doing this tag team sick thing.
I find myself very close to sitting under the table rocking back and forth singing I’m a little tea pot, because YES I’m still short and stout, the best I have been able to do diet and exercise wise is not get any fatter.
My Dr seems okay with this, you know considering the whole fatty liver and insulin resistance thing, but I’m not so okay with it.
Suffering from clinical depression for so long I know the signs, I know that falling asleep before finishing the lunches and not bothering to put a lick of lip gloss on my face are not good signs.
I’ve taken on extra shifts for the next two weeks (because, bills) and need to finish samples for my new catalogue because it haunts me, so this dream I have in my head of sleeping late and watching episodes of the new normal is just that, a dream!!!
Okay I’m done complaining now, at the crux of it I know I’m lucky I know that it’s just another day in paradise. I know that so many people I know are going through equally, if not worse days, I get that.
I know I am blessed to have a husband who respects me enough to let me do my own thing and who supports me even if I have to get lectures about slowing down every so often.
I just thought I’d share my bad week and say, sometimes things SUCK! It’s okay, it makes the unsucky days even more unsucky (yes I’m taking liberties with the English language here)
So let’s all just have a little cry into our sugar free Chai tea and know that today’s sacrifice is tomorrows reward J tomorrow being rose water martinis J
Awwww, sorry that you are having such a tough time. This too shall pass and when it does you will realise that all the sacrifices that you have made were worth it in the bigger scheme of things. Till then, go easy on yourself!
Oh Ella – sorry that you are so down and having a tough time. I hope tomorrow looks a whole lot better