I don’t do soppy posts too often, but if this year had taught us anything, it is to appreciate what we have while we have it…
So with that in mind I thought I’d share 12 things I love about my husband… 12 years into our marriage.
12 things I love about my husband… 12 years in:
1. He rejects the toxic masculinity narrative
So yes he is a soldier, turned fireman, turned detective and has tons of weapons training, but he rejects the toxic masculinity narrative even if it makes him unpopular. He is an lgbtq ally without even realizing it. He just treats all people based on their personalities – genders and sexual preferences litterally don’t come in to play. Even at work he is the person lgbtq complainants ask for and I’ve seen him stand up to friends and family when it comes to any form of bigotry. When it comes to parenting and being an uncle he won’t flinch if a child prefers toys or clothes outside heteronormative ideals and I love that. He is also not afraid to express his own emotions and will never be seen putting others down to come across as more macho.
2. He reads
This seems like such a silly thing but I find men who read – actual books – really sexy. He has a book collection of note and can get lost in novels.
3. He cooks – like properly
Rob rates cooking as one of his top hobbies. So when I say my husband cooks I don’t mean he braais while I make salad or he has a recipe or two up his sleeve. He researches ingredients and flavours and experiments. He is often asked to cook for gatherings and every one of our loved ones has a “Robin recipe” they love. Also…He eats meat but manages to make incredible vegetarian meals for me and that’s awesome.
4. He leaves me alone
This sounds crazy, but sometimes my social battery runs out, even at home. He never takes this personally and will be completely okay with me watching tons of Kdramas or YouTube while I recharge. (part of this is because it gives him xbox/Playstation time)
5. His laugh
Rob is a serious kind of person. Resting bitch face of note. Honestly the amount of times people have asked me if he is upset when he is 100% fine is high, very high. But he has a childlike goofiness and isn’t afraid to laugh at stupid ish. Stand up comedy is our jam and hearing him belly laugh makes me happy.
6. He can apologize
Rob has a temper. He does. Like he will shout at the pot lid for falling off the table. But when it comes to other humans, he is never too proud to say; “Oh shit my bad”. This includes when he is in the wrong with something that comes to our son. He will sincerely apologize to a child and that’s really cool.
7. He supports my hustle
Rob is the plus one at many events he does not care for. He is my designated delivery person and pick up person. He will help me pack and make me coffee or wake me up when I have deadlines. He is like a reluctant personal assistant who does it for love.
8. He loves his family
I’m not saying they don’t annoy him. We all annoy each other. But Rob is fiercely protective when it comes to our extended family. My mom teases that he has puppy like tendencies; harmless untill someone he loves is threatened and then all hell breaks loose.
9. He is so cool with my close friends
Rob is like a big bro to most of my girl friends. He is the male friend who gets called if they need help with things and he is really cool about it. He has checked on strange sounds in houses at night, helped them move, fixed little things that need fixing and teases them relentlessly – serious big bro vibes
10. He knows he is fallible
I love that Rob is not afraid to speak to a therapist when work gets too much. That he will do introspection and is willing to work on himself and us.
11. He is cute
I mean, when it comes to typical beauty standards he ticks quite a few boxes. Tan, tall, green eyes, “good hair” broad shoulders and I’m not about to act like that repulses me… But when I say cute I mean he sings in the shower, wrestles with the boys, he finds any excuse to be near me and cuddle with me and he does random dances just to make me laugh
12. He looks at me like I’m special
My greatest wish is to be half as amazing as Rob acts like I am. I want to be as smart as he thinks I am. As beautiful as his expressions says I am. As funny as his belly laughs indicates I am and as great a person as he insists I am.
That got really soppy, really fast, but in the words of Megan Trainor… “I’m going to love you like I’m going to lose you”… Rob and I often compared ourselves to other couples in the past and would come up short. We were not as successful, we didn’t have the money and the trips and the lavish lives. But recently we have come to appreciate what we do have… And that is “someone who gets you” and likes spending time with you. We have put in the work. Had some difficult conversations and have both had to make changes, but 12 years in and we still hold hands on the couch.
We don’t know what tomorrow brings… But today brings me a guy I have been through so much with. Through unemployment, long distance marriage, grief, debt, joys, amazing experiences and parenting a child who is quite frankly smarter than both of us… And for that I’m grateful