A list of people who can suck it…

This is a list of people who can suck it…I was going to call this post people who can go f themselves, but I actually only cuss when I’ve had wine, and I’m all out of wine (it’s been a tough week).


I am writing this because I’m so fed up with annoying people and sometimes I just need to moan to the internet.  

  •  Condescending people can suck it, in fact, they can suck it through a bendy straw. I hate when people speak to me like I’m not firing on all cylinders. I kind of want to cut them with my cv and stab them with my credentials. Not that I have Ph.D. in anything, but I also didn’t stop learning things on the first day of preschool. I can chew bubble gum while walking and everything.


    • People who are rude to servers can suck it. Look at the cashier’s face, smile with the waitress, be a decent human being, I know you are super busy being super important and I don’t expect you to have a conversation with everyone you meet (goodness I know it’s peopley out there and I for one am rather socially awkward) just don’t be outright rude, that’s all I’m saying, please and thank you
    • People, who throw trash out of cars? Who raised you? Do you know how things work? Like are you really saying that the interior of the car is more important than the actual life-giving environment? Is that what you are saying?



    • Those with a vested interest in my uterus, they can have a bowl of sucking it. Stop telling me how I need to have more kids, stop it, I can only fake interest for so long. Asking me if I want more kids is fine, I don’t mind answering, I’m the curious type myself. What earns you the suck sundae is telling me how terrible I am for only wanting one child, for insinuating that I don’t have real mom struggles and for trying to scare me with questions like “what if he dies?”,  “what if you die?”
    • People who want me to chemically straighten my hair, soooo much sucking for you.



  • Racists can suck it. How can you really validate feeling better than someone else based on something neither you or they can control. Did you earn your race? Did you study really hard and graduate Magna cum white/black/whatever? Stop it! Stop it! Imagine tomorrow all brown eyed people decided that green-eyed people were exactly the same based on their eye hue and started hating on them? How insane would that be? Ja that
  • People, who buckle up while their young kids stand on the back seat? How is this okay? Did you really put on a seatbelt like… “best be safe” then just leave your kid to stand there like those bobble head dolls people put on dashboards? Did that just happen?
  • Judgy Mac Judgersons, okay so yes this post is quite judgy but  (bear with me here) I am just so tired of seeing these social media posts where people say dumb ass shiz (oh look I didn’t need wine) someone the other day complained that she saw a car guard with a puppy. This woman didn’t ask him why he had a puppy, nope, just decided he was up to no good because if you have a job like “car guard” you can’t possibly love animals and must be stealing/breeding/selling dogs.


Okay so there are more things, but this is enough for now, I like to expose my crazy in small doses…. Please do share what grates your carrot and which people can suck sweaty sumo wrestler butt through a magic straw?

17 thoughts on “A list of people who can suck it…

  1. Amelia says:

    Hilarious and true all at once! Did you read the blog I wrote about why single kids RULE? Refer the haters to it immediately. What if he dies?? WHAT?! Whaaaaaaaaaaaat?!

  2. Andrea Thomas says:

    I am 200% behind you with “people who buckle themselves” but leave their most valuable possessions their kids unbuckled and standing in the car! When I am feeling brave enough I call out to them “what is the point of buckling yourself up when your kid will end up dead?!” This is a major “gripe” I have with a lot of “parents/grandparents” too! Both my kids sit in a car seat! Even my 5 (soon to be 6) year old! My opinion….. I would rather die with my kids than be the only survivor in a car crash because I did not love my kids enough to buckle them up! First rule of my car – buckle up or die! Easy Peasy! And no one talk to me about “difficult children”! Now my vent is over! I will drink a coffee to calm down !

  3. Mandy-Lee Miller says:

    And you! ALLLLL the true things. If anybody says anything about A dying, please send me an address so I can personally go throw shit at them. Condescending people are my worst. WORST!!! Love you xx

  4. Lynn Nel says:

    This is good crazy and enjoyable at best so by all means increase the dose!
    Well written and I hope you stepped on some toes!

  5. Lauren Hewitt says:

    My suck it list: people who are fake nice, people who call me selfish for having one child , people who judge me for my parenting choices (ie: co sleeping and breast feeding) , people who think my food allergies is me being full of shiz, people who think being a stay at home mom is a breeze and a picnic .. I should end now before my carrot is shredded and I too need that glass of wine.

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