A little cry and new shoes

I had to go buy clothes yesterday and it totally sucked!…I'd imagined that by the time I had to go back to work I'd be near enough to my post pregnancy body that I would have something to wear… BOY WAS I WRONG…because

I have over a week until I'm back in the real world AKA work, but pretty much nothing fits ๐Ÿ™

So yesterday in the fitting room with this chubby girl in a too-tight dress staring back at me I nearly cried, this is when it occurred to me just how unhappy I am with the way I look…once upon a time the Fashion Editor of Argentina Vogue mistook me for a model (granted I was sitting down at the time,cause standing up there is no mistaking…) but that's a lifetime away and the other day I was mistaken for my mother (who is actually quite smaller than I am), how the mighty have fallen hey…

I know its early days with Aidan only being 3 months tomorrow so I should cut myself some slack especially with everything I have been through and the joy I have found in my role as a new mom, but I figure that I deserve to be happy in other aspects of my life too…

So yesterday when everything I tried on made me feel so awful and I opted to just buy a pair of shoes because at least I don't have fat feet…it got me thinking…

Although I'm pretty confident in other aspects of my life I'm deeply unhappy with the way I look and its affecting how I feel about myself as a person and even how I carry myself and interact with others… But only I can change that…I'm taking it on as a two step process, firstly I need to love myself "big butt and all" and secondly I need to do something about getting in shape again, as superficial as it may be, I believe if you "look good you feel good" , and I could definitely do with feeling better about myself… (wish me luck)

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