Today’s NoFear JustFaith is a special one, it’s the story of one couple’s belief that they will have a child and the faith that made it happen despite what the Dr’s had to say…
Where do I start about my faith journey? It’s just a strange topic for me to think about as I truly do not think about having faith, I just do it. When El asked me to write a piece about faith I was stunned for a moment.
Why me? I don’t see myself as somebody that is very religious. I grew up in church and I have been a child of God since I can remember, but I’m not the ‘Bible under the arm-type’. I’m more the – Let go and let God-type.
I think my faith in God has really been part of me from a very early age. I remember as a little girl we once went through a very difficult period and money was just not available. I remember going on my knees with my mom and brother and praying for God to give us a way out. Half an hour later my brother comes running into the house with a brand new R50. My mom was so shocked, where did he find that? He said outside in front of his room window. The wind was howling outside, like it can only in Port Elizabeth. We went outside, in front of my mom’s room she found another R50. Not moving, brand new, not a mark on it. I went around to my room, in front of my window I found a R50. Not moving in the wind. From that day on I knew that God would never let me down. As long as what I am alive, He will take care of me.
And yes sometimes it does not feel that way. When we were told that neither myself or my husband would be able to have children, I had lots of questions. But just as soon as the questions came, I would always here the same answer – God is in control. He’s got this. We prayed a lot and making a decision to adopt was a difficult one. Not because of us, but because of the strain it brought in my family. A white couple adopting a black child was just not what they had in mind. But God knew His plans for us and we knew in our hearts He will give us OUR child. No matter how and what colour she would be. We started the process and it was a long year. We had to stay in faith the whole time.
Then we had to get police clearance. Then it was medical clearance, then again evaluations if we are mentally prepared to have a baby. All this while I have a full on war going on in my family about adopting this sweet little thing we now call our own. It was worth every tear and every prayer.
And now 19 months after adopting her, I’m almost 7 months pregnant. When I found out I was pregnant I went into total shock. I had so many questions – why now? How am I going to cope with 2 children under 2? What was the plan. And I still don’t know, but I know that God has a plan with both our daughters. He gave me Abby’s name before I knew I was pregnant. I was busy working and I heard a very clear voice – “Joy is such a beautiful name for a girl”. Here I must just point out that I have a very personal relationship with God and yes I do answer Him back and yes I do argue. So my answer: “No it’s not.” It happened twice and when I found out I was pregnant I knew her name needed to be Joy, but I really don’t like the name Joy. So I started doing research and Abigail means Joy.
So she will be Abigail Joy – in other words – Joy Joy. It has been a very difficult pregnancy up to here. I’ve been in hospital, we have used up all our medical aid on tests and tests and more tests. First the doctor told me that she won’t make it. I’m too old and my history just won’t allow me to carry this baby full term. We kept on saying: God’s will, not ours. Then they thought she had Down Syndrome. There was fear, I must admit. I don’t think I’m strong enough to handle it. But after crying my heart out before God I decided once again, not my will, His. So we went for more tests and started doing research on Down Syndrome.
What the challenges would be and how we would deal with it. But the whole time we kept on saying – God is in control. He put this baby inside me by some miracle, so He will take care of her. It’s not our job…
After lots of testing and the doctor telling me that I will have an option to abort, I told him no matter what, God gave us this baby, she will be kept safe and loved. And the final results seem that she is just perfect. He thought she had kidney issues. We prayed, her kidneys are just fine. On Monday we had another scare. I was walking in a shopping mall and all of a sudden I could hardly walk. I had such bad pain. To the doctor again – bladder infection that wants to induce labor.
We prayed again and I’m starting to feel better. We believe with our whole hearts that both our little miracles are blessed and that God has put them in our care for a reason. We have no idea what, but we are just keeping the faith……….