Appreciating the mess

I miss having a clean “adult house”. These days I feel like I’m living with Aidan as his things take over our living space. But right now as I type this I have a new appreciation for the mess and here is why …


I appreciate it because my son is here to make it, as simple as that. On Saturday which was international pregnancy and infant loss awareness day I heard of the passing of one of Aidan’s classmates and it hit me hard.

I have never prayed so hard for a virtual stranger (someone I had only met in passing) so much in my life.

My heart went out to her in the realist way. With Logan, he only lived two days so although he had a room and he had a car seat and a bunch of things, nothing had really “belonged” to him yet.

I can’t imagine losing a toddler, one whose fingerprints have marked your home, whose little toy parts have rolled under the fridge and sit wedged in the couch.

Someone whose tiny clothes find their way into your cupboards and whose collection of sippy cups outweighs your collection of wine glasses.

I find myself really appreciating the “obviousness” of Aidan’s presence here…

The legos that impale my feet, the toy boxes that magically multiply and the toys I’ve found in my bag at the most random (unfortunate) times.

I appreciate the bath toys I  always seem to be sorting, I value the little shoes which seem to hate being in pairs. But most of all I appreciate the opportunity to be a mother, something I prayed so hard for  and something I will always be thankful for. (His antics to drive me to whine and wine though and I’m not ashamed of this, hehe)

I know it’s annoying, stepping over piles of books and dodging three-wheelers but this week  just take a moment, breath in the scent of burnt toast which you incorrectly cut into squares (triangles are so in right now), glance at the floor of your car which you used to be able to see clearly,  or listen to the sound of  Disney on repeat and smile because having the mess means you have the messer…

Have a great Monday all…




5 thoughts on “Appreciating the mess

  1. Venean Bosch says:

    Amen to that, reading all the stories of loss I subsequently read this weekend broke my heart… Into a gazillion pieces to which I suddenly appreciated the fact that I still smell like throw up every day and don’t sleep a full night… Xxx thanks!

  2. Simone Cameron says:

    I just posted a picture on Twitter last night about the mess that is driving me crazy with my one year old. I don’t think hating the mess makes one any less grateful for having kids. I can’t imagine losing my 3, but heck, they can make me lose my crap on a daily basis. lol

    I however do love this post. There are days when it gets on your nerves, but rather the mess than their absence. I was complaining that my 1yr old is just way too busy. Time and time again I tell myself: He is here, healthy able to walk, play, laugh, mess….so be grateful for busy 🙂

    Lovely post <3

  3. Heather says:

    I am so sorry for your friend. I also appreciate all the “signs of my son” – I sometimes just close my eyes and open them again and appreciate anything that marks his presence in my house.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *