Do you know about love languages? I learn’t about it years ago and found it interesting. It’s basically five ways to express and experience love, I have found it handy in my personal relationship like I know my dad likes words of affirmation while my mom prefers acts of service.
However I didn’t realise love languages relate to kids until a certain Ben 10 figurine came into our lives.
The figurine was an instant hit. It is durable, it is completely pose-able and Rob even commented on our sturdy it is made. The figure forms part of the ten alien creatures 10-year-old Benjamin Tyson can transform into using his Omnitrix device.
Aidan liked the toy, but enter Cody his 3-year-old cousin (my cousins son) While Aidan loves building and inventing things and Caleb is very in to anything that goes boom, bang or smash. Cody is imagination stations. He instantly took to the figurine. Posing it into different positions to act of different scenes in his favourite show. He talked to it and every single time he came over to visit he would ask to play with it.
This did not go unnoticed by Aidan. One day before a pending play-date he asked me if he could give the figurine to Cody…
“I like the toy mommy but he loves it and it is going to make him so happy and that would make me happy”.
Then it clicked. Gifts are Aidan’s love language. I don’t know I missed it. He loves giving away his baby toys. He loves picking flowers for me, making cards for people and had a full scale meltdown when I wouldn’t take a collection of “pretty junk” he collected to “his aunt” (my friend).
When this friend adopted a cat Aidan insisted on using his savings to buy a cat bowl…His love language is much like mine. I like to give love through gifts (I really really do) and I like receiving love through words of affirmation… not too many words don’t make it awkward now.
This made me decide to research love languages in children and this is what I found.
1. Physical Touch.
From hugs and kisses to rough housing, in children who understand this love language, physical touch will communicate love more deeply than will the words, “I love you”.
2. Words of Affirmation.
In communicating love, words are powerful; they nurture the child’s inner sense of worth and security. Even though such words are quickly said, they are not soon forgotten. A child reaps the benefits of affirming words for a lifetime.
3. Quality Time.
Quality time is focused attention. It means giving a child your undivided attention. Quality time is a parent’s gift presence to a child. It conveys this message: “You are important. I like being with you.”
Most children respond positively to gifts, but for some, receiving gifts is their primary love language. You might be inclined to think that this is so for all children, judging from the way they beg for things. It is true that all children—and adults—want to have more and more. But those whose language of love is receiving gifts will respond differently when they get their gift. Remember, for them this is love’s loudest voice. They see the gift as an extension of you and your love.
5. Acts of Service.
Some people speak acts of service as their primary love language. When that child asks you to fix a bicycle or mend a doll’s dress, he or she does not merely want to get a task done; your child is crying for emotional love.
This is just a brief information from the book: The Five Love Languages of Children by Dr. Gary Chapman.
You can do a quiz HERE to find your own love language
Do let me know what you find/know regarding your kids and love languages