Calm mom = calm kid (I hope)

Just breath Eleanor just breath
If you come around my house in the near future and see a white knuckled mother speaking to a toddler in a eerily calm voice-don’t be alarmed
I’ve decided to stop “shouting” at Aidan even if he drives me up the wall.
Honestly I never thought I was shouting at him to begin with but, when we went to have lunch at a venue with a play area the other day, I found out otherwise.

Aidan was playing and naturally didn’t go for the climbing frame, slides or sand pit , nope he found a plug to stick his finger into.
I shouted to get his attention and later had a friend ask if I had a rough day, because I sounded so worked up, I sounded like I had enough of Aidan so she assumed that he must have been quite the handful that day. (she wasn’t being mean spirited at all just observing and she was right)

Thing is no, he wasn’t a handful, he was cheery and cute and I was just worked up…
Rob shouted at him yesterday for dismantling the couch , it’s become his thing, he needs to sit on the wooden base and throw the pillows on the floor…
The poor thing looked so shocked…Rob and I then decided we need  to work on not letting the love leave our voice…

He needs to be reprimanded and we need to be firm but at no point must he be scared of us, I want him to learn right from wrong without ever thinking we love him any less – I just hate the look of fear he had like he couldn’t trust us.

I’m not naive, I realise that this is not going to be easy, even though we have since birth opted for the “explain things to him” route (even when people are looking at me funny for explaining to a one-year-old in a shop that he can have only one packet of chips or that I don’t want him running around because I don’t want people to steal him)…and it mostly works. He is hitting the terrible twos now so we will be tempted to lose it, but here’s hoping/praying/trying my best to keep my wits about me, in even the most trying situation…

He needs to know that even though I don’t love what he is doing I will always love him

5 thoughts on “Calm mom = calm kid (I hope)

  1. Melanie B. says:

    I also never thought I'd be a shouty mom but some days it is so hard to stay calm. Emmy hit her Terrible Twos at about 18 months and Angie, at 4, is so emotional about everything.

    Have kids, they said. It'll be fun, they said. :p

  2. cat says:

    We also do the "explain to them " thing. You will see – as they get older it helps a lot. I also tend to shout and often have to remind myself not to.

  3. Heather says:

    I also struggle with yelling. I find it is worse when I really want to do something and he wants attention. I have to figure out a way to include him. I also like to do the explaining thing.

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