The “Wonders” of motherhood

July 29, 20147 Comments

I’ve often heard people talk about the wonders of motherhood and I think I finally “get it” I know why it is referred to as the wonders of motherhood

Because I often

– Wonder when I will get to decide my own bedtime again
– Wonder if I will ever get my body back
– Wonder what the mystery stain on my clothes are
– Wonder why someone would turn their nose up at my cooking but happily eat play dough
– Wonder why the cat is afraid of my one-year-old
– Wonder if I will ever be able to leave the house on a whim again
– Wonder when he got so heavy
– Wonder if babies don’t come with mute buttons
– Wonder why I need to pick little stones and sticks out of his hair at night…

– mostly Wonder how I ever lived without my little busy body

LOVE THIS KID TO THE MOON AND BACK!
Soooo blessed

Another lesson in motherhood…even the sweetest kid can be a terror

July 16, 20141 Comment

So yesterday Aidan was full on rude and I don’t think I was prepared for it, he is mischievous at most, maybe even a little naughty, but I’ve never been faced with the “blushing while being profusely sorry for my child’s behaviour” type naughty.

At most he is extremely busy and curious and stubborn but nothing really cringe worthy until yesterday!

A good friend came to visit and on arrival Aidan threw a spoon at her (I’m reminded of Austin Powers, “really who throws a shoe” but with a spoon) , a very weird reaction as he usually loves her (Maybe he was annoyed that she didn’t have her adorable blonde daughters with her)

First he was fine with me having a guest and there was nothing out of the ordinary, just the occasional “Mama Mama look at me” behaviour which is to be expected.

I clearly didn’t look at him enough because first he hurled his teddy off his bed then he decided to put his crayons in the nappy bin one at a time followed by wanting to flush his blocks down the toilet. Me stopping this resulted in him throwing himself down on the floor for a “dead man style, I will lay here till I get my way” tantrum. I ignored him and was met with this super fast reverse crawl that made me think of exorcist-creepy I tell you.

He then climbed onto my lap and proceeded to spit on the floor…YES! SPIT! he just lay across my legs filled his mouth with spit/drool and let it drip down…I was shocked and mortified.

I was even more mortified when my friend got up and he happily announced “Bye Bye” then he kept interjecting our goodbyes by waving at her and saying “bye bye” and even pointing at the door and saying “go bye bye” SERIOUSLY!!!

I know that when it comes to things like this everyone has different tolerance levels, some people would think his behaviour was appalling and that he should learn manners and that he was clearly raised in a barn, others would be like, “arg that’s nothing my toddler just stole my car to buy a pack of cigarettes”… (I’m somewhere in the middle)

So what’s the point of my rant? well I realised later that he wasn’t feeling to well (blocked nose and slight fever) It also occurred to me that my friend arrived at what is usually “our time”.

He didn’t appreciate this. Clearly a creature of habit, he is not used to me not being all his at that time of the day and didn’t know how to get my attention.

I guess it’s a lesson learnt…a reminder that he is a person in his own right with expectations and needs and not enough verbal prowess to express himself. Also he can be a naughty little bugger.

I must remind myself to try to make it clear to him that his feelings matter while making it clear that there is such a thing as “grown up time”.

Most of all I need him to know that I will always make time for him, even if it’s just a quick game of shadow puppets before bed or a phone call if I’m out of town. I need him to know that he is my first priority and that’s just the way it is, but at the same time he needs to know that this doesn’t mean there are no consequences for his actions or that I will condone rudeness or out right naughtiness….Quite a tough call.

Sheesh this parenting thing is hard…

My new MUST try – Busy Bags

July 16, 20144 Comments

So I stumbled on something during one of my very many pinterest visits BUSY BAGS!!!!
Basically a busy bag is this little activity pack that you make and take along on doctors visits or when you go to the restaurant – which we certainly need with out little one.
This is definitely something I want to make and exchange (like I make a bunch of the same and swop with others who made different kinds.
I spoke to some other moms about it and although most of them were like….naaaah too much work, why not just buy something….. I did get a few that are interested so pretty soon I will be having a busy bag exchange…whoop whoop….
Here are some cool busy bag ideas I found online: Some of them are a little above Aidan’s age but I intend to alter things and make it work 🙂

A much needed long weekend…in pics

July 7, 2014Leave a comment

So on my long weekend I:

…Ate carbs, I know people don’t eat carbs any more so here is a picture of carbs for those of you who forgot :p

….gave in to the fact that for now I am the mother of a fruitarian (For the love of protein eat something else kid!!!)

….took Aidy to Fruit and Veg where he could pick out his own fruit…naartjies are still a firm favourite

….watched Aidy ask random people to open a bottle of water for him in store

…apparently adopted a cat because my sister’s obsession with strays seems to have rubbed off on my son

…hung out at funky frogs

….thanked goodness for Borca Lorca , which meant I could eat proper grown up food while Aidy played

….Spent time with my Monkey and was reminded how lucky I am to be his mom

Have a good week all 🙂

Why my son can play with whatever toy he wants

July 1, 201411 Comments

So the other day a family member raised an eyebrow and commented on Aidan playing with his cousin’s doll. They teased that I might have to buy him dolls soon *snicker snicker* I thought about it and wondered, why not? well my own reason for not buying him dolls is because he has like 15 teddies and doesn’t need dolls, but I don’t see why he can’t play with one now and again.

I always thought a child plays to learn or to mirror adult behaviour, I mean isn’t that why toys are miniature versions of adult things? mini musical instruments, mini garden implements, mini stuff?

I see it like this… Little girls play with dolls and learn to be mommies – well in theory. So what if Aidan wants to be a dad one day? why can’t he cuddle and hug a teddy or a doll? he puts his teddies to sleep sometimes, or shares his bottle or feeds them his chips. I guess it is because he sees me do this with him, and he sees his dad do this with him… Robin is by no means a “sissy” (ex-soldier, ex-firefighter and all) and he manages to be a great dad. He is very hands on (like most of the dads I know)

He also happens to be a great cook – our house operates in reverse to many others, with dad cooking weekly meals and mom cooking on the weekend (unless dad has had a brain wave and simply MUST try something out)- cooking is Robs hobby and Aidan loves to pass him spices and watch him cook.

So why can’t I get Aidan a cooking set? why is that “frowned upon”

When I was pregnant and found out it was a boy I was kind of freaked out because “What do boys do?”

Do they colour? Do they blow bubbles? what do they do?

Girls can do whatever the heck they want, no one snickers when a girl plays with a car or a kicks a ball around (okay some do but they are all around strange, these people).

With boys you get loads of opinions, like when his gran bought him a shopping trolley full of food for his birthday, some people didn’t “get it” , but what is not to get? men also do shopping.

Aidan even owns a little broom because he sees my mom sweep and kept swiping hers.

I think kids should be able to play with whatever toy they want to, okay I’m not going to lie, if Aidan plays dress up I’d prefer him to be a pirate instead of a princess, a super hero instead of a housewife… But I don’t want to put limitations on him…I’m actually looking for a kitchen set for him, something that is not too “pink and pretty” not because I have a problem with pink. I just prefer gender neutral toys, like I don’t understand why those ride on horses are brown for boys and pink for girls, not because I don’t like pink, BUT because horses aren’t pink…unicorns might be so maybe stick a horn on it then I’d feel better, hehehe

but my point is….Aidan likes to blow bubbles, write ,play with play dough, make smoothies with me and even insists on using my lip balm, he also loves getting really really dirty, he plays with rocks and sand and sticks and water and he is always vroom vrooming, anything that could be mistaken for a car, also no ball can remain “unkicked” in his vicinity.

Growing up my parents were very open minded, I have some great memories of building things with my dad, and my brother enjoyed preparing food for everyone. Most of our toys were pretty gender neutral-many of which my dad (an electrician) built for us. We had a playground with swings and jungle gym and a big metal drum we used to push each other around in and for pocket money he would let us help him unscrew/reconnect plugs and wires in his workshop.

My mom played hop scotch with us and got on the jungle gym herself and we had a blast playing with edible play dough.

There was never a case of boy things and girl things…

That is what I want for Aidan, he is a boy who will one day be a man and I’m hoping he will be a well rounded one who can cook and clean and even horror of horrors, put a baby to bed.

Lessons from motherhood

June 17, 2014Leave a comment

Today I want to humbly apologise for any harsh judgements I might have made regarding unruly kids. Naturally I would never voice my opinion out loud (my mother taught me better than that) but I won’t lie…I have looked at unruly kids in shops and restaurants and wondered why their mothers allowed that…*pause to laugh* ALLOW nogal! as if someone would allow their kid to embarrass them in a crowded shopping centre.

Being mother to a particularly busy one-year-old has taught me something very important…You can’t always control their behaviour, you can only control how you react towards the behaviour…My mom told me this about the “Mean Girls” at school and I think the concept translates nicely…

Your child WILL test you, he will insist on pushing the trolley in a crowded shop, scream to ride those R5 machines “one last time” or grab your glasses off while you are trying to have a conversation with someone, the trick seems to be not to let them see you sweat.

My cousin simply walks away from her daughter when she decides to throw a tantrum, waits for her to finish and then calmly talks to her…Trying to reason with a toddler seems a little crazy, but it seems to work (for some kids not all…)

I’m well aware that asking Aidan why he insists on decanting his plate of chips onto his lap before eating makes me look like a loon, especially when his response is “chippy nom nom” but I see it as opening the lines of communication.

Honestly I just want it to look like “I don’t condone such behaviour” when actually I’m just glad he is eating something…

Aidan is a handful…He can get out of practically any brand of feeding chair and end up on the table, he insists on walking over to other people’s tables and just standing their like a mini stalker and is only comfortable if he can take one shoe off and put the free foot next to his plate…

He is such a joy though and for now I can control him with a stern voice, a threatening look and some light bribery…The little free spirit teaches me so much and of all the things he has taught me humility is definitely pretty high on the list.

Just Ella Bella

Category: All things Aidan