So I’ve had to choose my sanity over my need to be informed…I’m finally limiting my social media intake and I think it’s the healthiest choice

So I’m not saying this as a version of the “I’m leaving FB to you immature individuals who need such things” or “congratulations I cut my friends list and you made it” type posts. Because, no

I’m saying this as a giant “you were right” to my friends who had been warning me that my need to be informed and my curiosity about other people’s opinions was going to drive me insane.

It really just took me, going back on anxiety pills, a three day headache, back spasm, hair falling out and bleeding gums to realize that I might be a tad stressed. Maybe working for print media and seeing stories daily and having a cop as a husband and a father who is engrossed in the news and makes sure to chat to me about the issue of the day, every day, was enough pandemic input… I really had no reason to be on the internet at 3am annoyed at Piet from Benoni blaming the virus on the ANC and Jabu from Nelspruit saying it was all a conspiracy to kill poor people.

I have no need to be looking into 5G claims and racist rants and following rabbit holes of disrespect and misinformation. Doing calculations of whether the president was a prince or another South African word with a p.

My friends kept warning me that my empathic nature was going to short circuit me. That although my ability to understand different sides of a story and put myself in other people’s shoes might have made me a good features writer, it made me a sponge for hurt and dispair. Sometimes I relate so deeply with someone’s status that I’m up whole night crying and praying for (what might be a fake post) from a nurse in NY.

This morning I woke up and reached for my phone within 10minutes I was in an advanced acting class of the mind… Angry, happy, sad, disappointed…. Leka Mal.

I realised I was letting other people control my emotions with my own data nogal. So I deleted FB and Twitter off my phone… I didn’t delete my account, obviously. But I’m not strong willed enough to just not look so I now have to actually log on if I’m curious.

I have a curious nature, I love being informed and I love getting other people’s view points BUT I need to stop being such a damn busy body, for my own good.

I can check on my own facebook page (JustEllaBella) and those of friends – where people are nice to each other and can share a laugh despite coming from different backgrounds and races and cultures. (but within strict limits)

But apart from that I need to take a little break. Because I’m hemorrhaging respect for people… People I really liked are sharing questionable things and no amount of “fear brings out the worst in people” is helping me deal with that.

So why am I telling you all this?

Mainly because I want to say… Don’t wait until you have a constantly twitchy eye to evaluate what is stressing you out. Look at your life right now. Apart from money (ooooh that’s a whole other thing) what is bringing you a feeling of unrest. And just for the week replace it with something else… Who knows we might come out of this mass lockdown with our sanity intact.

Lots of love… Also do they make social media nicotine patches asking for a friend