Aidan is a living breathing embodiment of my prayers…

I've prayed for him since before conception and now I thank God every time he opens his eyes.

With every breath and movement my heart swells up with gratitude and I am glad…

Every time he closes his eyes another prayer crosses my heart,mind and lips.

I plead with God to bring him safely through sleep.

I plead to never wake from this dream which seems to good to be true.

I pray for his future, I pray for his past, I thank God for helping me hold on to faith when fear was so strong and I ask God to help me hold on to my faith when fear rears its ugly head.

I thank God for holding me through the week when I lived in the hospital (boarding so I could feed him on demand while his lungs got stonger)

& thank God for giving me the strength (even now) to deal with the pain of my c-section scar (it's a vertical cut like last time except my previous scar had to be cut out and stitches ended up bleeding again)

I thank God for helping me persevere when I had less milk than a lactose free cake and for helping me cope when suddenly I turned into a bit of a fountain. I thank God for a supportive husband who takes amazing care of Aidan and I and for family and friends who are so happy for Aidan's arrival that it sometimes feel like they are more excited than we are.

My heart is filled with so much gratitude it scares me, I can't believe he has been granted to me, that I get to be the mother of this sweet angel, this ridiculously beautiful child. Sometimes I look at him and can't believe I don't have to give him back…. Like a good friend says, a child is your heart placed outside your body and this is definitely the case…

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