The problem with motherhood

The problem with motherhood is something many might not see as a problem…
The problem is loving another human so much that you lose the logical side of your brain, suddenly you’re set on “emotion” instead.

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Take last night for instance…I’m standing on a kiddies maze rug holding an undressed 3-year-old who is currently running a sky high fever and hating me for going the suppository route with him.

He is holding on to me, seemingly fighting sleep, and there I stand barefoot, in a onsie, with wet hair and tears in my eyes.

Suddenly I fear losing him, I fear him not waking up, my tears fall onto his curly head and onto his bright pink cheeks.
What is it about motherhood that renders you both more powerful than you ever imagined and more helpless than you ever expected.

How can a little person give you feelings of guilt for working and not spending enough time with them but also guilty for staying with them and not making “enough money” to support them.
How can this mini human make you so angry yet so happy…

I’m looking at my sick baby and hearing him moan in his sleep and suddenly I wish he would start talking my ear off, mentally I plead with him to ask me a thousand questions again, this time I won’t be secretly praying he could hush up or be running to the toilet for a little peace and quiet.

He is holding my hand with such desperation that his behavior issues (back chatting his teaches) are a drop in the ocean.
I put my cheek against his hot face andΒ  and suddenly his new tantrum phase doesn’t matter.
Losing Logan and Aidans frequent visits to the hospital has made me super sensitive when sickness is concerned.

But I guess it’s also makes me appreciate his general health that much more.
That’s the problem with motherhood it’s just too real.
PS. He is feeling a little better today

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