Social media can diminish your happy, it can  be really  bad for your self esteem…seriously it can, there is always someone on holiday on some tropical location while you drag yourself out of bed and feel like you should be a honorary Polar Bear Plunger just for making it to the shower.

There is always going to be someone with the cutest short haircut just as you decide to grow yours out, or someone who looks amazing with long hair just after you did the big chop.
Everyone seems to be on some sort of diet and exercise kick and you find yourself eating a chocolate chip cookie with the same sort of rebellious shame you would see from a 15-year-old smoking behind the school tennis courts.
I never saw myself as a bitchy person, I can be happy for others and usually I am, so I was very surprised to find myself eye rolling at other peoples statuses…Ohhhhh you got ANOTHER pair of shoes that could pay for food for a family of five for the next three months, good for you. Or ohhhh another night out and now you don’t know how you are going to face the day in the wake of three bottles of wine… “Wait let me take a selfie”… so you can see the worry in my eye….
I even found myself feeling envious of other peoples entrepreneurial spirit…THAT is when I knew there was something up. I usually get quite a kick out of people succeeding in small business so I knew I was not being myself.
No jinne Eleanor pull yourself towards yourself and get over yourself…hehehehehe
I realised that what was wrong with this equation was not other people, they were just living their lives, being them and since I was never mad about that before – not in the slightest – something must be up with me.
I realised that it is very difficult to be happy for others when you are not happy for yourself. But why wasn’t I happy?
On paper things seem good, a great family, amazing friends…not to mention I share my life and home with two handsome men who think I’m the bees knees… what is up? and then I realised I have been existing not living. I’ve been so caught up in the day to day drudgery of life that I forgot to actually LIVE life.
Living with clinical depression I am used to slumps. For days on end  I will just feel so inconsolably sad that I just get used to it.
But since I decided to live  medication free as much as possible I have been on myself to get my mindset right . . . So that is what I have been doing the last few days and I found being in the moment and doing what I love  made it easy to be happy which in turn makes it easy to be happy for others.

I’m happy for the girl going on her trip because I remember how she had dreamed about it. I think the girl getting into shape looks amazing (should probably get some tips) The one who parties all the time kinda reminds me of my early 20s self and the person with the blossoming new business can now employ others and that is great…. Sometimes you kinda have to admit that you are being a bitch, laugh at yourself and realise it’s not about the hand you are dealt, it’s about how you play your cards 🙂

Here’s to remembering, other’s success is not your failure!