I am happy as a mom to an only child, to avoid fights lets say “I’m keeping an open mind about future reproduction”.
I’ve had people who grew up as an only child say they would never do that to their kids and I feel that everyone has a right to their opinion, so I do take that into consideration, but would like to note that blood doesn’t make for instant besties (my opinion – I have two siblings)
I have heard all the arguments by now. How I’m selfish and he is likely to grow up to be a lonely spoilt brat (ignore the fact that I/and probably you, know people with siblings who fit that description perfectly).
Sometimes the arguments are so loud and repetitive you start doubting yourself. You forget your emotional and medical reasons and you think (So what if you landed up in ICU with both births, this is for the greater good)… maybe I should just shut people up and have more kids…
That is a silly reason to fall pregnant… here are more reasons I don’t think are very smart:
1. People keep nagging me
Sometimes I think I should get pregnant just to have a date to give people when they say sooooooooooo whens the next one coming
2.So I can be a “real mom”
Other moms often allude to the fact that I don’t know “real motherhood” “real exhaustion” “real parenting” so I have thought maybe I should get knocked up and then I can exit this Pinocchio parenting I’m involved in…”I wanna be a real mom”
3.To keep him from being spoilt
I’m not rich enough to good and proper spoil him, so that’s a plus right? I’ve heard that if you have an only child you run the risk of raising a spoilt brat so I considered having another one to combat that, in the end I opted to teach him proper values instead…saved me nine months there.
4. He would be lonely
Aidan looked so lonely the other day and I thought he could do with a sibling. The lonely look subsides at school, when his cousin comes over (daily) and when he organises a play date (he does that)…I’ve come to realise that Aidan draws people to him … lonely(quiet house) is going to be a pipe dream for me. We come from a tight knit family and I know that he will always have a support system.
5. What if something happens to him
People have actually suggested this to me numerous times.I’m like uhm you know I lost a kid already right,this is insensitive, and I don’t need a spare wheel child thank you
6.Who will look after me?
ME! I will! and if I can’t I will make provisions for a funny nurse to watch me, I don’t want to have kids for in case I need a carer
I think kids are awesome and I think you should have as many as you want to just don’t let yourself get bullied into ANYTHING.
These are people not collectors items or Pokemon, I don’t have to catch or collect them all, I just have to build the family I want and right now being a great mom to one and a kick arse aunt to many others is exactly what I want.
It works for me, find what works for others and stop asking people about their reproductive choices, it’s a lil awkward, just saying.