11 months without him

It’s 11 months today almost a full year since we had to say goodbye to our little boy, Logan Allan Meyers….you will always be loved:

 Grief is Like a River

By Cinthia G. Kelley
My grief is like a river,
I have to let it flow,
but I myself determine
just where the banks will go.
Some days the current takes me
in waves of guilt and pain,
but there are always quiet pools
where I can rest again.
I crash on rocks of anger;
my faith seems faint indeed,
but there are other swimmers
who know that what I need
Are loving hands to hold me
when the waters are too swift,
and someone kind to listen
when I just seem to drift.
Grief’s river is a process
of relinquishing the past.
By swimming in hope’s channels,
I’ll reach the shore at last.


8 thoughts on “11 months without him

  1. Anonymous says:

    I want to say this bt i dont want to sound to harsh…. Normal people dnt even do this for babaies that r alive, y do you keep doing this to yourself to make youtlrself sad every month. Im not saying forget him, but rather be more happy bout your new baby. Learn to complain less. U seem to complain about the normal things.

  2. Yolande says:

    @Anonymous, it is interesting that someone who has so much to say does not even have the backbone to own up to it and is hiding behind anonymity. And you are wrong, people who have children celebrate every milestone, even if it is just to announce that their child is now two months today etc. Rather mind your own business and let her deal with her grief however she wants. Losing a child cannot be easy and every person has their own way of dealing with trauma, this might be hers. So let her be. Also about complaining about the normal things…we all do, and you just proved with your statement that you too complain…complain about someone's complaining, how petty is that. I see Eleanor every day and she turns every complaint into something positive. Just a suggestion for future, if you don't appreciate or find the blog so offensive, don't read it.

  3. Neo says:

    @Anonymous, you clearly do not have any inkling of what it feels like to have lost a child that you carried and nurtured in your womb for nearly 9months. Grief is experienced differently by different people and whether it takes her ten months or ten years to work through her grief is really none of our business as we have NO idea what she is going through. You clearly do not know Eleanor very much because if you did, you would know that despite all of her heartache and pain, she still remains one of the most positive and upbeat people I know. Like Yolande said, it is very easy to sit behind a PC screen and judge and not even have the backbone to put our name on it.

  4. Anonymous says:

    Anonymous people like u clearly dont know what ist is 2 loose someone so close 2 u and and u also dnt care about peoples feelings so pls if u dont have something gud 2 say keep it 2 urself….I find it quite intresting in how El is coping with her lost losing her boy is not something that will dissapear over night it takes time u can have 3 more kids but each of them will b special in their own way but will never replace the one u've lost…Advice 4 El Scream….cry…or make a Note….U got the wrigth 2 do whatever u want…and Always remember that Aiden(hope I spell the name correc) is Extra special he is a gift from God…

  5. Catriona @ Precious Impressions says:

    I read Eleanor's blog and I don't think she complains about things. I think your comment is just mean spirited and that you are a coward to not add your name. If her content rubs you the wrong way then I suggest you don't read it. This is her blog and she has every right to express how she feels about the loss of her child.

    P.S Eleanor you should turn off Anonymous comments. Sending you hugs from Cape Town.


  6. Luchae Gie says:

    Dear Eleanor,
    Thank you for being a voice for all the hurting moms who have a lost a child.
    Sometimes its braver to share your story, than to suck it up and fake a smile.
    I appreciate you and know that you're going to be a fantastic mom to Aidan.
    From Luchae Gie

  7. zaan says:

    Anonymous u one to speak. Not all fuckin ppl has guts to speak openly about the lost of a child and I think elle is one bleddy brave woman to be open about it and how she feels.. If you haven't lost a child than u shut up cause no one really knows how you, u can blog about it everyday it doesn't take away the emptiness u feelm being preg after loosing a child has u on panic mode and alert to every lil kick n movement cause u way to scared it myt happen again. if hav to be preg again the fear n terror u go through the strength u hv to search within urself just to get up smile is like u finding it hard to be angry at normal things u find it easy to live wth. Please mind my language.. But I had enough of ppl thinking loosing a child or children is ok n if u preg again it replaces the lost which it damnwell doesn't. So many uneducateD ppl in ths fuckn fucked up tht forgets that feelings is real n heartache exists its damnwell ok to rape n become the president but moaning for ur loss is pathetic.. So next time u through out ur toys about normal ppl complaining about normal things try n go through losing a child n be normal after that.. Elle I have the greatest respect for ur big heart n being who u are.. Aidan n logan is blessed to hv u as a mom..

  8. Shauna says:

    Recognizing your angel baby on their monthly angel anniversaries is a way to cope and heal–I've done this for both of my angel babies. Love this poem. Thanks for sharing and allowing us to grieve with you. (Hugs)

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