How do you explain adoption to an adopted child? This is something I’ve often wondered, but never outright asked because #boundaries
I know quite a few families who have adopted and we have seriously considered the option ourselves, and being that I’m a curious sort of person I have pondered how one broaches the subject and also when do you do it?
Most of the adoptive families I know have adopted across the colour line so it’s not likely that the kids will only find out as adults. It’s kinda obvious that the kids and parents look different and this fact could be painfully pointed out at a school event if parents wait too long to honestly chat about it. But others could pass for blood so do you talk about it? And if so, how? I mean for birth moms it’s simple, you were in my tummy, you grew and here you are… It’s not quite as black and white for adoption.
For lack of better phrasing: how do you talk about adoption openly without making the child feel like their birth parents rejected them or that they were a consolation prize.
This is something my own mom struggled with as a child living in foster care. She has since reconnected with her birth parents, but your childhood narrative shapes you.
The author of Finding My Forever Family – a book explaining adoption to kids, Amelia Meyer, a heart mom herself, believes that you need to “explain adoption” as naturally and matter of factly as possible.
Before writing the book, she interviewed adopted children, social workers and play therapists and “one simple truth came to light – the most beneficial way for an adopted child to know that they’re adopted is for it to be a natural, normal part of their narrative from day one.”
She wrote the book which is beautifully illustrated by Zoe Venter as a way to open a dialogue between parents and adopted children.
The personalised adventure story is simple and straightforward, yet quirky and sweet. Your child is the main character, complete with personality traits and physical attributes. Amelia even includes scenarios specific to the family in question.
The young adventurer travels around from animal family to animal family looking for a forever home untill they find the perfect fit. What I liked was the willingness of each animal family to take in the child, starting the “you are loved” narrative from page one.
The book offers space for two or three photographs, as well as a personal message from the parents.
Although the story isn’t historically accurate – I mean unless you’re Tarzan. It offers a comfortable natural way to explain adoption.
The overall theme is “you were and are wanted” which I reckon is all any child wants to know. The book is A5, soft cover, and between 24 and 28 pages long (depending on the photos you want included).
For more info about ordering contact Amelia
*this is a sponsored post but as always all views are my own