Plus sized fashion? What is that even? Is it like a sub-section of fashion for those that don’t fit? For those who burst out at the seams of norm maybe? After gaining weight, I think I subconsciously started believing; “fashion is no longer for you girly”…

That’s sad… I chatted about my issues with weight many times before, but I don’t think even I realized how I let my views on myself change “me”. The plus sized fashion rails had me heading for the hills. I’d rather just wear my husband’s over-sized jerseys than admit I now needed to shop in the “plus sized” section.

Weirdly, the people I have found most beautiful in my life, had some extra meat on their bones, but when it came to me, jaaaaa I wasn’t having it. Even though I knew it was largely due to health problems, my focus was mostly on the LARGELY part.

The thing is – and this might come as a shock to those who have not been following my blog for too long– but this used to be primarily a fashion blog.

Shocker, right? I wasn’t always dedicated to blogging about the hardships or parenting a smart mouth vegetarian. If you go back through my archives you would see loads of outfit of the day posts, interviews with designers and my view from the front seat of fashion weeks.

That’s right I used to be so close to the models on national and international runways I could smell the hangry (hunger induced anger) hehehe. Guys I have photographed models like Alessandra Ambrosio and Jesus Luz, surrounded by the who’s who of international fashion publications. I can’t tell you the amount of times I had to smile and nod as editors raved about a designer I thought actually didn’t have a clue.

When it came to dressing up, I had a slogan…”every day is an excuse to dress up”… then life happened.

Suddenly, walking in heels made me feel like a baby elephant on stilts. Body con dresses made me more body conscious than body confident and I just started dressing less and less me. Gone were the days that I was voted most stylish media person in the province, now I was writing articles from home in an onesie and a top bun. My make-up kit became a lip balm and mascara for special occasions and sadly, oh so sadly, the girl who used to have an actual tool box full of nail implements has been seen outside her home with chipped nails, way too often to mention without you losing all respect for me.

Yes I have changed as a person, everyone changes and that is AWESOME! I like who I have become on the inside, but honestly the outside could do with a buff and polish. These days seeing me in heels prompt people to ask if I’m on my way to church. “who am I even”. I don’t mind that I have changed. I like who I am now…but you know what! I’m dusting off my heels and putting on my lipstick because my self worth isn’t vested in how much I weigh! You can call it plus sized fashion or “cute for a chubby girl” I don’t care. What I do care about is finding every aspect of what makes me happy. And guys! as much as I have strong views on politics, love doing my part for charity and enjoy learning new things, clothes, shoes and  makeup, make me happy and that’s okay…my personality is pretty plus sized and there is room for everything.